Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The struggles went on

In my previous post, I shared with you how I had a relapse of clinical depression in July 2007. It was very difficult for me to cope each day as I was extremely slowed down, miserable and hardly able to function.

Thank God for my employer and colleagues who continued to deal kindly and graciously with me. They took over some of my work load and encouraged me to take breaks and go for walks. I am very grateful for their support and understanding, without which I would not have been able to cope. My employer also encouraged me to return to my Doctor as soon as possible and explain my relapse to him.

I contacted the hospital and managed to get an earlier appointment to see my psychiatrist. As I turned hypomanic previously when I was put on 20 mg of fluoxetine (or prozac) which is an anti-depressant, my Doctor decided to start me on very low dosage this time and increase very slowly. He advised me to take 10mg of fluoxetine on alternate day and to return for a review in 2 weeks’ time. This was actually 1/4 of what I took previously. My symptoms continue to persist and it took a lot of effort for me to do anything. After 2 weeks, my condition began to improve a little. When I went back to my Doctor after 2 weeks, he advised me to continue with the medication since I was beginning to get better. He was to review me in another 2 weeks’ time.

During the next 2 weeks, my conditions fluctuated. Some days I was better, some days I was worse. As my work was very stressful plus still having struggling to cope with other challenges in life, my condition worsened.

The days became harder and harder to get by. I could hardly endure the stress and anxieties I was experiencing daily. I could not cope with my work any longer. At the same time, providentially my employer decided to scale down her businesses in order to attend to some family matters. It was not possible for her to keep me due to financial constraint. So we agreed that I should look for a new job. In order not to be a further financial strain to my employer, I left the job in end August 2007.

How was I going to go through each day now that I am without a job?…. Stay tune to my next post for more sharings of my struggles and God’s mercies to me

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