Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Jehovah Jireh - The Lord will provide

Thank God that my short stint at the temporary job ended well as my superior, Jack, was very understanding. He turned out to be a Christian and shared of his faith with me just before I left the job.

At the time I stopped this temporary job, my depression was still bad. Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness to me. Ever since end August when my church came to know of my situation, they have been very prayerful and most encouraging. Some brethren also gave of their substance anonymously and very generously. Thank God that though I was not able to work, the love gifts I received were able to cover all my expenses plus enable me to continue to contribute towards my mother’s expenses too. Thank God too that my brother who is overseas continue to contribute his portion towards caring for my mother.

Truly the Lord is Jehovah Jireh - He is our provider. Through the kind love gifts I received on the Lord’s day, I decided to seek better medical help so that I can be more functional. Thank God for making it possible for me to return to seek the help of Dr Pauline Sim who first helped me in December 2006. Dr Sim was most sympathetic and kind when she saw me again. She immediately up my dosage of anti-depressant ie Fluoxetine to 20mg daily.

Thank God that after 1 week, I began to feel better. But the next day, I felt compel to starting looking for a job again. Without realizing that I was not ready to start on a new job and not even ready to consider deeper into this issue, I began to actively seek a new job. But 2 days later, I found my depression worsened again. When I consulted Dr Sim, she advised me to take a good break for 3 months and not to think about work at all. She felt that it is better for me to give time for my mind and body to recover before attempting a new job as that may only worsen my condition.

Dr Sim encouraged me to learn how to recognize early signs of worsening symptoms, possible causes of worsening symptoms and what to do at such time. She taught me how to manage the dosage of my medications in view of my mood swings. She also taught me how to be more aware of my mood changes, and to learn to find out why or what causes them. She told me that some of her patients keep a mood diary and monitor the fluctuations in their moods before they worsen. She also encouraged me to spend some time to do things that I enjoy and just let my body and mind relax and recover.

I am still learning to manage my illness. Thank God for strengthening me day by day. Thank God for making available various means for me to learn to manage my illness. I find much strength and joy in the Lord as I look to Him daily. I know that He is with me and He is working all things for His glory and my good.

I have benefitted from a combinations of various means and coping strategies. I have shared about them under the category “My Coping Strategies”.

I am thankful to God for providing for my every need during this period of recuperation. I am greatly encouraged by the prayers, encouragements and kindness of many of my church friends. I am deeply indebted to our Lord and to them for their prayers and kindness. I am not able to repay them all. I can only pray that God will bless them and their family with rich spiritual blessings and provide for their every needs too. I am also striving to live for our Lord and to serve Him, to the best of my ability as He enables me.

I thank God that during this period of recuperation I can develop this blog to share with others about God’s goodness and mercies to me in this illness. And also to share some resources and materials I have found useful with the hope that they will benefit others.

To God be the glory.

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