About me

(This post was first posted on 8 February 2008)

About Me

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Hello! Thank you for visiting this blog, dear Reader. Let me share with you a little about myself and God's mercies to me.

My name is Nancie. I am a Chinese Christian living in Singapore. I was led to seek and know the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour and Lord in 1990 through the instrumentality of two of my ex-colleagues Michael Sing and Daniel Hee when I was working together  with them at Singapore Airport Terminal Services (SATS), Changi Airport, Singapore. 

Thank God that my life was radically changed when I became a Christian. I went through many challenges just like everyone else, and have been wonderfully upheld by the Lord Jesus Christ through all the ups and downs in the changing scenes of my life.

In December 2001, I had a severe relapse of asthma and was hospitalized. In year 2002, I took 2 months leaves to recuperate at home. It was during that period of recuperation at home that the Lord used many encouraging Christian articles, sermons and books to minister to me. I was greatly uplifted by the reminders of God's love and faithfulness. The result of it was the design of a website to upload some of my favourite articles and sermons to share with others.

Thank God for the excellent medical care for my asthma by Dr Phoa Lee Lan from Tan Tock Seng Hospital in mid 2002. As I am suffering from mild-persistent asthma, I have to be on low dosage of life long maintenance medication ie Symbicort. Thank God now my asthma is under good control.

In Dec 2006, I had a severe relapse of clinical depression. At first I was diagnosed as having Major Depression. But because of the extreme mood swings I experienced when I was getting better with the help of the an antidepressant medicine called Prozac, I was diagnosed in late March 2007 to be prone to Bipolar Disorder. It is also known as Manic-Depressive illness, a brain condition that causes extreme mood swings. For me, whenever I am well and functional, I experience hypomania in which I have lots of energy and creativities, more productive and able to do a lot of things. Usually, after a few months of Hypomania, my energy level will suddenly crashed to very very low where I am constantly tired, not able to get up from bed, poor self care, struggled with sleeping and eating. This is the other extreme of Bipolar, which is clinical depression. This is not the normal feeling of down or discouragement. It is daily struggling with all the symptoms of clinical depression and I can hardly function. I used to experienced these terrible episodes for 3 to 6 months before medical intervention and help. During the worst times, I experienced feelings of hopeless and worthlessness to the point of having suicidal thoughts at times. But I know that as a Christian, I cannot end my own life. All I could so was to continually cast myself entirely upon the Lord Jesus Christ. Thank God for His mercies and grace in preserving my life through those very dark and painful days.

I think I have experienced these extreme mood swings since around 1990 ie for over 35 years now in March 2025. But I can only remember more clearly of the 10 or so relapses over the 18 years prior to my diagnosis. These are relapses that occurred just before I became a Christian and then the years after. I could remember them more clearly now because my life was changed significantly after I became a Christian. I have very little memory now of my younger days without Christ.

These episodes in the first 18 years usually lasted for a few months. Different from the normal ups and downs we all experience every now and then, Bipolar Disorder's symptoms are very severe. It is a long term medical condition just like diabetes and hypertension that needs to be carefully managed throughout a person's life.

Through this severe relapse in end 2006, I was led to seek medical and counselling help for the first time, besides praying and reading God's Words plus some other helps. I thank God that after so many years of roller coaster rides with extreme mood swings, I have finally understood the reason behind them. To know that I suffer from this brain medical condition and that it has a name for it, is helping me to learn to manage it better with various resources the Lord Jesus Christ has provided so that I can live for the glory of God and be able to serve Him more effectively.

The medication, by God's grace, is helping to stabilise my mood and enable me be more functional, so that I can continue to seek and serve God. I thank God for Dr Pauline Sim of LP Clinic, Dr Tham and  Dr Chan Lai Gwen of Tan Tock Seng Hospital for their valuable helps in treating my condition.

I am very thankful and indebted to my first Doctor at LP Clinic, Mt Elizabeth Hospital ie Dr Pauline Sim Li Ping. She is a very compassionate, kind and encouraging Doctor. She always assure me that I will get well and not to be discouraged.

She taught me how to recognize early symptoms of relapses, what I can do to get better, how to adjust the dosage of medicine and other matters. She said she wants me to be the co-therapist and know what to do instead of panic or run to the hospital during relapses. Under her guidance I am able manage better.

Currently, I am being followed up by Doctor Chan Lai Gwen at Tan Tock Seng. She  is also a very excellent, kind and compassionate doctor. She works patiently with me as I learn to understand how to manage my condition.

She taught how to recognize early symptoms of relapses, what I can do to get better, how to adjust the dosage of medicine and other matters.

In January 2007, I have received professional help from a group of counsellors who are trained to manage brain disorders such as bipolar, clinical depression, OCD, etc etc and my Pastor also counselled me on spiritual matters. The professional counsellors are trained to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which is a form of counselling with a focus on understanding how our thoughts affect our behaviours. Bipolar alternates between 2 extreme mood swings ie. mania and depression, and our thoughts and behaviours are shaped by these mania and depression episodes which can at times be very confusing. CBT helps to make sense of some of these confusions, and help to pick up skills to manage these mood swings so that one can be more functional.

I am thankful to God for provided me with a team of very compassionate, kind, understanding and encouraging Christian counsellors at Counselling and Care Centre, Singapore from Jan to Apr 2007. My sessions with my counsellor, Sarah (and her team), were most fruitful and encouraging. Through her counselling sessions, I embarked on a new journey of self-discovery, of knowing God, myself and others better. The benefits I derived from my sessions with Sarah continues to help me as I journey on. I am grateful to Ruth for her counsellings and encouragments between May to June 2007, when she took over from Sarah.

From July to August 2007, I was helped by Dr Spencer Lee and Yvonne Ying of Association of Christian Counsellors of Singapore. Now I am helped by my Pastor's prayers and counsels, and that of some of my elders and brethren in my church, besides doing my own reading and researching on the internet to understand this condition and how best to manage it. I am deeply indebted to the above persons for their valuable prayers, counsels, encouragements and kindness during my most difficult times.

I am now learning to look to God and learning to use a combinations of available means which our Lord has graciously provided to cope with this brain condition. You can read more about these coping means/strategies from the category "My Coping Strategies" on my blog.

With God's help, I am hoping to share my journey of understanding this brain condition and God's mercies to me with you, dear Reader. If you know of anyone suffering the symptoms similar to that of my condition, please do pray for him/her and let him/her know that it is a medical condition that can be treated. Do advise him/her, if possible, to seek professional and medical help, counselling help, some natural remedies and other helps. Do not hesitate to tell him/her about this blog.

Just click on the links in the "Label" box on the right to read my postings.

I thank God for my family Church and some friends in Pilgrim Covenant Church (PCC) in Singapore (https://pilgrim-covenant.com/) - for all their prayers, encouragements, support and kindness. In particular, I am indebted to my dear Pastors ie Pastor JJ Lim, Pastor Linus Chua and my brethren in my church ie Pilgrim Covenant Church  for their unconditional love, prayers, supports, concerns and kind love gifts which enable me to recuperate away from work and also to providentially work on this blog. I realized these are tokens of God's love, mercies and faithfulness to me in this difficult trial. These give me the courage to press on, to look to God daily, and to seek and serve our Lord as He enables me. I am thankful to God for His mercies and lovingkindness to me despite my many sins, failures and weaknesses.

I found it helpful and therapeutic to verbalise my thoughts and feelings and share it with others who can benefit from it. It is my prayers that, God willing, this blog with all its information will be used by our Lord to help others, particularly those who are afflicted in like manner and for their loved ones and friends, just as God has used many information available on the internet for my benefit and comfort as I seek to understand my illness and manage it so that I can live for Him and serve Him.

May the testimonies of God's love and faithfulness, through all the changing scenes of life, will continue to bring glory to Him and some comfort and encouragement to His people.

If you are in Singapore and looking for a Church or a Reformed Church, do come and visit my Church, Pilgrim Covenant Church (PCC), for worship and fellowship: (https://pilgrim-covenant.com/). Our address is Block 203B (Tower B) #07-07, Henderson Road, Singapore 159546. We are a Reformed and reforming Church founded on 4 July 1999 in Singapore. We are at the moment a small congregation covenanted to serve and worship the Lord together as a branch of the body of Christ. We have a Gospel work in the state of Johor, JB, Malaysia ie Johor Bahru Christian Fellowship (JBCF): https://pilgrim-covenant.com/about-us/johor-bahru-covenant-fellowship-malaysia/. You can also join us online for our Morning and Evening worship services: (https://pilgrim-covenant.com/join-us/online-links/). 

To God be the glory!

"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." Psalm 73:26

Warm Regards,

Nancie

(First posted on 8 February 2008)

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Comments:

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4 comments:

Sunday, August 17, 2008 1:46:00 PM

I really appreciated reading how God is working in your life.

Please pray for me, as I will for you!

Love,

Kate.

Reply: Sunday, September 28, 2008 5:32:00 PM

Thanks, Kate. I am remembering you in prayers. Praise and thank God for His goodness and mercies. 

Warm regards,

Nancie

Monday, October 13, 2008 10:30:00 AM

My dear friend Nancie, You are a testimony of God's love & faithfulness and YOU ARE MORE THAN ABLE & MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! Indeed, the strength of your heart and your portion is God even when Bpd & your heart might fail you, He will not!

You have shown us the mercies & goodness of Our Lord as you share with us your story of wellness & your struggles to maintain functioning as close to normal. You have shown us all that it entails to have a complete package of balance with a well qualified team of medical & spiritual counselors.

You demonstrate how wonderful it is to have support of many: loved loves, family, friends & church!

Again this echoes of how necessary it is to share this MISSION with others while serving you as therapy

as you express yourself, your thoughts, your feelings so it benefits others who are suffering

like manner! It benefits us all.

I pray you receive continual encouragement from others as you walk through this with God beside

you! Thank you for allowing us to

view your beginnings to the present![I think this was one of your first posts, right?]

Reply: Monday, October 13, 2008 7:45:00 PM

Peggy, thank you for your encouragements! Yes, this is one of my earliest post :)

All praise and glory be to God for His mercies to me and the way He is enabling me to cope and live for Him and serve Him. Take care!

Warm regards,

Nancie

(This post was first posted on 8 February 2008)

If you are in Singapore, please come and visit my Church, Pilgrim Covenant Church, for worship and fellowship: https://pilgrim-covenant.com/

Details for worship services:  https://pilgrim-covenant.com/#view-2-service

Or you can join us online for Morning and Evening worship services: https://pilgrim-covenant.com/join-us/online-links/

Christians do get depressed too: The Carers by Dr. David P Murray on clinical depression

(These series of 6 messages on "Depression and the Christian" are also available on .pdf, .mp3 and video formats which can be downloaded from the website of Sermon Audio )

DEPRESSION AND THE CHRISTIAN

BY DR. DAVID P MURRAY

(6) THE CARERS

INTRODUCTION

We have been studying depression from a biblical perspective, and have covered five areas so far:

1. The Crisis
2. The Complexity
3. The Condition
4. The Causes
5. The Cures

We now come to the final area of our study – The Carers. For our purposes, the carers are the depressed Christian’s family, friends, and fellow-Christians, who will be involved to one degree or another in helping the sufferer to get better. Usually these carers will have no medical training and often they will have very limited or incorrect knowledge of mental illness. However, they have a critical role in helping a depressed person get better. Research has shown that mental health patients will get better much quicker if they have someone close to them whom they can confide in and get support from.

This lecture, then, will consider ten areas for carers to consider when trying to help a depressed person get better.

1. Study

As Christians, we surely want to be the person whom our loved ones turn to in time of need. And, when they do turn to us, we want to be able to help them and not hurt them further.

It is, therefore, imperative that we learn about depression and other mental illnesses in order to avoid the very common mistakes that lay-people often make when dealing with the mentally ill, and in order to be of maximum benefit to those who are suffering.

Apart from studying how Jesus dealt with the ill, the weak, and the distressed you might want to read some of the very helpful books, written from a Christian perspective, which are now available. In order of readability and usefulness they are:

Overcoming Spiritual Depression by Arie Elshout.

I’m not supposed to feel like this by Chris William, Paul Richards, and Ingrid Whitton Broken Minds by Steve and Robyn Bloem.

A Practical Workbook for the Depressed Christian by Dr John Lockley

Another book, of course, is the well-known Spiritual Depression by Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones. However, you should be aware that Dr Lloyd-Jones does not deal with every aspect of depression as an illness, but rather only with some of the spiritual consequences of depression.

A book which is written from a non-Christian perspective, but which is still useful, is Mind over Mood by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky.

It is important to remember that reading these books will not turn you into a mental health professional, but it will make you more useful and helpful to loved ones in distress.

2. Sympathy

Thoughtful and prayerful study of mental illness should naturally and automatically increase our sympathy for those who suffer with it. By sympathy we mean an ability to communicate that we truly understand the problem and the symptoms, that we are deeply concerned, and that we will do all that we can to help. In many cases, such sympathy can have powerful therapeutic effect on the sufferer. The lack of it can only multiply the pain and deepen the darkness. Consider the following quote from Russell Hampton, who suffered himself from depression:

"If there were a physical disease that manifested itself in some particularly ugly way, such as postulating sores or a sloughing off of the flesh accompanied by pain off an intense and chronic nature, readily visible to everyone, and if that disease affected fifteen million people in our country, and further, if there were virtually no help or succour for most of these persons, and they were forced to walk among us in their obvious agony, we would rise up as one social body in sympathy and anger. There isn’t such a physical disease, but there is such a disease of the mind, and about fifteen million people around us are suffering from it. But we have not risen in anger and sympathy, although they are walking among us in their pain and anguish."

It will greatly help you to sympathise if you always remember that you could just as easily be in the same position, suffering the same illness.

For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it? (1 Cor.4:7).

If you treat depressed people with impatient contempt, you may, like many others before you, have to learn sympathy the hard way.

3. Support

Support follows sympathy. It involves being available to listen and talk either in person or at the end of a phone. It includes praying with the person, especially as the mentally ill may find it impossible to put words and sentences together in prayer. It means unconditional love, love which is maintained even when you do not agree with every decision your loved one is making, and even when they may unjustly turn on you. It requires practical help such as child-minding to enable a young mother to get a few free hours each week, or such as taking an elderly person out in the car to give them a refreshing change of scenery. It demands wisdom to know when you are getting out of your depth and more professional support is needed from medical services. The benefits of such supportive friendship cannot be overestimated:

The presence, the availability, just the existence of a friend like this provides a tremendous degree of comfort to the depressed person, as it demonstrates in physical terms how much he is cared for, accepted, loved, as he is, warts and all. It is not difficult for the depressed person to go on to realise that if individual Christians can love him that much, how much more will God do the same.

Unconditional friendship is the key, as is loyalty. The real friends are the one who can accept the depressed person as he is – on good days, bad days, sad days, frightened days and angry days. Friends like this don’t put pressure on in any way, but allow the sufferer to be himself, however horrid that may seem to be. As one of my depressed friends said, “It’s a relief not to have to put on a disguise.”

On a congregational level, pastors and officebearers should encourage a supportive atmosphere: For our churches to be really effective in supporting those with mental health difficulties, we need to establish a culture where everyone in the local church knows that it is acceptable to have problems
from time to time, and that the church as a whole – and especially its leadership – is there to support church members during these times as well as in times of success.

The Church should be especially aware of the need to “support the supporters”. To be an effective support to the mentally ill is physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually demanding. As Christians we need to be conscious of the need not only to support the depressed person but also to minister to the needs of their nearest and dearest.

4. Stigma

There is still a stigma attached to mental illness, and depression in particular. Ignorance and misunderstanding have filled the public mind with many prejudices and falsehoods. As a result, many still view mental illnesses such as depression as a choice, or as a sign of weakness, or as an excuse to opt-out of life. The depressed person may also share these mistaken beliefs, and so double their sense of guilt and failure. Consequently, they will often be very reluctant to admit what they are feeling, and so go for many long months or even years without asking for help or seeking treatment.

Following steps 1-3 above will help to reduce this stigma. But the Church can also help by making clear that Christians do not have to be perfect with no problems, and by demonstrating that when people do experience problems they will not be ignored or avoided.

Also, the preacher should present a balanced view of the Christian life, as represented in the Psalms, over a third of which deal with fear, anxiety, and despair. This is part and parcel of normal Christian experience in an abnormal world. Let us remind ourselves again and again:

For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it? (1 Cor.4:7).

Almost anyone can experience mental health problems, given the wrong sequence of life experiences and stressors.

5. Secrecy

As is clear from the above, it often takes a huge amount of courage for someone to admit to depression, often due to the fear of what people will say. If someone, therefore, trusts you enough to confide in you, then you must maintain the strictest confidence. There must be no “sanctified” gossip – “I’m just telling you this so that you can pray about it…!” It is tragic that so many depressed Christians have to prolong their secret suffering because of a justified fear that no one can keep a secret in the Church! The Church is in desperate need of Christians who are known to have this simple talent – they keep confidences.

6. Self-esteem

Depression and anxiety bring to the surface deeply rooted self-doubts and self-criticism. The depressed person will often feel useless and worthless. They will have very low self-esteem. What should we do to address this?

Some Christians are reluctant to give people any praise or encouragement because of the risk of making a person proud. However, it is safe to say that pride is one of the least risky vices for someone who is depressed. Pride results from having an over-inflated view of oneself. Depression involves the opposite.

Other Christians misconstrue the doctrine of original sin and total depravity to mean that there is no kind of “good” in anyone, and so again fail to say anything positive to the person. However, without minimising the wickedness of the human heart and without denying our inability to do anything pleasing to God apart from through faith in Christ, we should feel free to encourage the depressed person to have a more realistic view of themselves by highlighting their God-given gifts, their contributions to the lives of others, their usefulness in society, and, if they are Christians, their value to the Church. For example, a depressed young mother may feel a total failure in every area of her life because she has not got a perfect home or perfect kids. We can help such a person to see that she achieves a lot in a day even though she might not manage to do everything she would like. We might remind her of all the meals she makes, clothes she washes and irons, the shopping she organised, and so on, and so help her to see herself and her life in a more accurate and realistic light.

It is wrong to pat ourselves on the back when something has been accomplished as a result of our initiative. It is equally wrong, however, to focus on what we have not accomplished. In 1 Corinthians 15:10 we have a clear example of humility accompanied with a healthy opinion of one's accomplishments: "But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God whichwas with me." Paul knew very well that he daily offended in many things (James 3:2; cf. Rom. 7; Phil. 3:12), and yet he did not go so far as to cast out all his accomplishments. I do not believe that this is God's will. In contrast to sinful forms of self-confidence and self-respect, there are also those that are good, necessary, and useful. Without a healthy sense of these, human beings cannot function well. We may pray for an appropriate sense of self-confidence and selfrespect, clothed in true humility, and we must oppose everything that impedes a healthy development of these things (be it in ourselves or others) with the Word of God.

7. Subjectivism

One of the most common tendencies in depression is to focus on feelings, and to base beliefs and conclusions on these feelings. This is especially true of Christians. They may feel forsaken and so conclude they are forsaken, etc. There is also the tendency to read Bible passages and books which address the feelings in the hope that this will help to restore true feelings, whereas such a focus tends only to make things worse.

We should encourage the depressed person to move away from the realm of the subjective and to instead think on the objective truths of Christianity – things which are true regardless of our feelings – justification, adoption, the atonement, the attributes of God, heaven, etc.

8. Speak

The general rule is to listen much and to speak little. However, here are a number of things not to say:

• Pull yourself together
• Don’t get so emotional
• O, you’ll soon get over it
• It’s a sin to be depressed
• Just believe the promises
• Smile, it can’t be that bad
• Well, things could be worse
• At least it’s nothing serious
• You should confess your sins
• You are not still on medication, are you?

The more you understand depression the less likely you will say such hurtful and damaging things.

9. Suicide

If you suspect someone is considering suicide then you should sensitively and wisely ask the person if they are thinking along these lines. This will not plant suicidal thoughts in their minds, but may allow the suicidal person to admit to this and to seek professional help.

In Broken Minds, the pastor Steve Bloem gives a number of reasons he has, at times, used to convince himself not to commit suicide:

• It is a sin and would bring shame to Christ and His church.
• It would please the devil and would weaken greatly those who are trying to fight him.
• It would devastate family members and friends, and you may be responsible for them following your example if they come up against intense suffering.
• It may not work and you could end up severely disabled but still trying to fight depression.
• It is true – our God is a refuge (Ps.9:10)
• Help is available. If you push hard enough, someone can assist you to find the help you need.
• If you are unsaved, you will go to hell. This is not because of the acts of suicide but because all who die apart from knowing Christ personally will face an eternity in a far worse situation than depression.
• If you are a Christian, then Jesus Christ is interceding for you, that your faith will not fail.
• God will keep you until you reach a day when your pain will truly be over.

10. Slow

It is important to realise that there are no easy answers and there are no quick fixes in dealing with depression. It usually takes many months and in some cases even years to recover. You should, therefore, take a long-term view and patiently wait for improvement. Don’t get frustrated over lack of progress and be aware that temporary relapses may occur.

Patience is essential, because, by the nature of illness, the depressed person is likely to go over the same ground time and again, needing the same reassurance that was given a day, a week or a month ago.

In the meantime let us take our depressed Christian brethren continually before the throne of grace and plead, “Lord, he whom thou lovest is sick.”

CONCLUSION

In the course of these lectures we have been looking particularly at how depression affects the Christians. In closing I would like to refer back to something which I have touched upon now and again – the way God will sometimes use depression to bring an unconverted person to the Saviour. If you are unconverted and feeling depressed, at least part of the solution may be repentance from your sins and faith in Christ. That is not to say that you may not need medication and counselling as well. However, medication and counselling will only be a temporary solution if you do not seriously address your spiritual state before God. Pills might get you through this world, but they will not be available in hell, the place of ultimate torment, despair, and gnashing of teeth.“Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved.”

All 6 articles on Depression and the Christian:

1. The Crisis
2. The Complexity
3. The Condition
4. The Causes
5. The Cures
6. The Carer

If you are in Singapore and looking for a Reformed Church, do come and visit my Church, Pilgrim Covenant Church (PCC), for worship and fellowship: https://pilgrim-covenant.com/. We are a Reformed and reforming Church founded on 4 July 1999 in Singapore. We are at the moment a small congregation covenanted to serve and worship the Lord together as a branch of the body of Christ. We have a Gospel work in the state of Johor, Malaysia ie Johor Bahru Christian Fellowship (JBCF): https://pilgrim-covenant.com/about-us/johor-bahru-covenant-fellowship-malaysia/

Or you can join us online for Morning and Evening worship services: https://pilgrim-covenant.com/join-us/online-links/

Thank you for stopping by. Have a blessed day! 

Best Regards

Nancie

26 July 2025