How to Dance in the Rain

Recently, I reflected much on the various friendships God has given me throughout my life, and the tremendous blessings these friendships have been in helping me to grow and be a more useful person.

But of all the human friendships and relationships on this earth, I think none is so precious as that of one's own spouse. I believe that it is good for husbands and wives to have their circle of friends even after marriage, but ultimately their closest and dearest human friend on earth should be their own spouses. And for both of them, their best Friend is our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I feel sad that my good friends, whether it be a man or woman, once they are married they can't maintain a close friendship with me anymore. But I also understand that their spouses should be their closest friend on this earth, and their family, their spouse and children will have to take priority over any other relationships in this world. This is my own stand too. If I ever marry in the Lord, I pray that God may enable me to be my husband's best human friend and he mine. And our Lord Jesus Christ must always be most important in our lives, even more than we are to one another. If we have God and the Lord Jesus Christ as the foundation of our love and friendship, it will be a blessed and lasting one, as we will be able to pray and seek Him together, and also serve Him together.

Johnson See, my brother-in-Christ at another church, FERC, shared the following heart-warming article on the relationship between a husband and his wife :

How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are'?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is'.

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life'.

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'

"We do not remember days,
we remember moments."



(I took the picture of these 2 lovely swans made of flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.)

In the Bible, God described to us the true unconditional and lasting love that He has exhibited towards us and the same kind of love which He desires us to emulate. This is possible only if we have His Spirit within us and His grace helping and enabling us as we pray and seek His help daily to do so. The word "love" is translated as "charity" in the King James Bible :

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth:

One modern English Bible translation, translated the above passage as:

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its won praises. It isn't arrogant.
5. It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.
6. It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
7. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
8. Love never comes to an end.

Richard Baxter wrote a very useful and biblical view of marriage entitled "The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives towards Each Another".

Baxter also wrote a helpful article for husbands on the "Special Duties of Husbands to their Wives".

The Covenant Family Fellowship has a very useful article on "The Defence of Family Worship.

In the Bible, God describes marriages as reflecting the relationship between our Lord Jesus Christ and the Church.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In the Bible, God teaches us that husbands are to love their wives even as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. Wives are to submit lovingly to their husbands who are the head of the family even as Christ is the head of the Church.

May all Christian marriages strive, by the grace of God, to reflect the loving relationship between Christ and the Church. What a blessed marriage that would be! Surely this will be another great blessing of God and a little taste of heaven on earth :-)

Thank God for husbands / wives who stood by their spouses who have bipolar disorder or other mood disorders. It is a great mercy to be married to a husband/wife who will love us at all times.

With my formal diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder in March 2007, I know that it is unlikely for me to marry as there is still such a terrible stigma associated with mood disorder or poor mental health, even among Christians. In my younger days, I have cherished the hope of marrying a Christian man who loves the Lord, and to seek and serve the Lord together with him. But now I am thinking that perhaps it is God's will after all that I should remain single. I cannot bring myself to think of the pain and sufferings my future family may have to go through with me in this mood disorder. Though my condition is currently under control, bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition just like asthma and diabetes. The nature of this mood disorder is such that we will go through the same ground over and over again even though we are on medication and other helps. I pray that now with the knowledge of my actual diagnosis, the Lord will enable me to seek appropriate help and treatment. And by God's mercies, hopefully my downtime may be lesser and lesser, and I may be more functional and able to serve our Lord more effectively.

I realized that as long as we are in the will of God, that is the best for us. So it doesn't matter to me any more whether I am single or married. I will continue to seek and serve the Lord in my various callings, to the best of my ability, as He enables me. I found that, by the goodness and mercies of God, I have no lack of love from family and friends. The Lord in His faithfulness has provided me with family, church brethren and friends who love and care for me in many wonderful ways. These are tokens of God's love for me, and it is enough to sustain me through this pilgrim journey :-)

To God be the glory.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

The faithfulness of Divine Love

Recently, I read a very encouraging portion from CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening on 28 Feb evening. I am using CH Spurgeons' Morning and Evening as part of daily devotion besides reading the Bible and prayer. I always find his writing very devotional and heart warming. He is a man after God's own heart and my heart is always strangely warmed when reading his writing and sermons.

Spurgeon shared from 1 King 17 about Elijah and the widow from Zarephath. In particular, he commented as follows on 1 King 17:6 :

“The barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah.”

Spurgeon directed us to see the faithfulness of divine love. The widow of Zarephath had daily necessities. She had herself and her son to feed in a time of famine; and now, in addition, the prophet Elijah was to be fed too. But though the need was threefold, yet the supply of meal wasted not, for she had a constant supply. Each day she made calls upon the barrel, but yet each day it remained the same.

So it is with us. We have daily necessities, and because they come so frequently, we are apt to fear that the barrel of meal will one day be empty, and the cruse of oil will fail us. Spurgeon encouraged us to be rest assured that, according to the Word of God, this shall not be the case. Each day, though it bring its trouble, shall bring its help; and though we should live to outnumber the years of Methuselah, and though our needs should be as many as the sands of the seashore, yet shall God’s grace and mercy last through all our necessities, and we shall never know a real lack.

For three long years, in this widow’s days, the heavens never saw a cloud, and the stars never wept a holy tear of dew upon the wicked earth: famine, and desolation, and death, made the land a howling wilderness, but this woman never was hungry, but always joyful in abundance.

So shall it be with us. Others may suffered without help or relief, but we shall find that our place of defence shall be the munition of rocks: “Your bread shall be given you, and your water shall be sure.” Spurgeon said it is better to have God for our guardian, than the Bank of England for our possession. We might spend the wealth of the Indies, but the infinite riches of God we can never exhaust.


What a comfort to remember afresh that God cares for us in very wonderful ways daily. Though we have daily necessities, God provides for our every need - spiritual and temporal as we look to Him daily. May He enable us to know Him, love Him and serve Him daily.





I took this picture at East Coast Beach Park, Singapore





I have been young and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. Psalm 37:25

God is our refuge and strength

Thank God that this evening I was able to attend the Prayer Meeting in my church. It's been a long time since I last attended our Prayer Meeting due to my poor health condition and other reasons. Thank God for a kind sister-in-Christ who fetched me there and send me home.

I was greatly encouraged by my Pastor's sharing on Psalm 46. This is one of my favourite psalms in the Bible.

Pastor JJ exhorted us that in the troubles and trials of our lives, there are 3 lessons we can learn from this Psalm.

1) We are not to fear. Psalm 46 begins with these verses

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

In the worst calamities that can befall us or the severest trials we may go through in this life, we need not fear because God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (v1). Verses 2 and 3 described the worst that can happen on this earth - the earth be removed, the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, the water thereof roar (probably a tsunami) and the mountains shake. Even if these should happen, we can find our refuge in God. Underneath us is His everlasting arms. (Deut 33:27)

2) We are not to be shakened or moved. Psalm 46:4-7 reads

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

In the trials of our life, we are not to be shaken or moved because God is with us (v7) and in us (v5) through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is with us to comfort and strength us. God promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

3) We are not to fret or be anxious. Psalm 46:8-11 reads :

8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

In time of anguish and sufferings, we may find our refuge in God who can quiet all the noise within and without us because He is God (v10). He is sovereign over all situations in our life. Nothing can happen to us without His foreknowledge. We can cast all our cares and anxieties upon Him and know that He is working all things for His glory and our good.


Thank God for such a comfort and encouragement through His Words. In this life, we may face many different trials, difficulties and sufferings. But we can find our refuge and strength in God. We can find our peace in Him in the midst of whatever turmoil we may experience. We can be still and know that He is God. In Him alone we can experience peace in the midst of turmoil and troubles. Thank God that He is with us always and will never leave us nor forsake us.

I took this picture at East Coast Beach Park, Singapore

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled,
though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God,
the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved:
God shall help her, and that right early.

My brother, Arthur, who is in New Zealand, took this photo at Muriwai Beach, West Auckland, New Zealand.


Be still, and know that I am God - Psalm 46:10

Comforting others with God's comfort

Marja shared on her latest post "Enlarging your soul through grief and loss", on how in her own trials, she is drawing most of her comfort from being there for friends who are in trouble. Coming alongside others somehow brings some healings.

It has been my own experiences too that whenever the Lord enables me to reach out to others who are in need, He brings joy and comfort to me in my own afflictions. Comforting others with the same comfort which God is comforting me, reinforces God's truth, His love and sovereignty in my own life.

Many years ago, I read a very encouraging and inspiring account of the life of CH Spurgeon's wife, Susannah Thompson. I have posted Susannah's story on my Believers' Encouragement blog under "Mrs Spurgeon".

Throughout much of her married life Mrs. Spurgeon was a semi-invalid. For long periods of time she was confined to her home and was not well enough even to attend church. But she bore up nobly under those conditions. She encouraged her husband under his frequent sufferings and did not complain about her own.

Nevertheless, she longed to be busy for the Lord. Every sentence from her pen that has come down to us and every mention of her that has been left by others reveals a very gracious and spiritually minded woman.

In 1875 a door of rich usefulness was opened for her. Her husband's Lectures to My Students had recently been published, and the Lord set upon her heart the desire to send a copy to some needy ministers in England. From what she could save from her housekeeping expenditures, she had just enough to purchase 100 copies of the Lectures. Soon she sent a copy to each of one hundred needy ministers. She thought that was the end of the matter, but although she did not allow her husband to mention what she had done, news of her action spread, and friends began sending her money so she could send out more books. Several of the pastors who had been given the copies sent letters that expressed their thanks and made it evident that books were sorely needed.

Moved by a strong recognition of the need and feeling God wanted her to continue the endeavor, she ordered a number of sets of The Treasury of David. (Spurgeon had written four volumes of that work at that time.) Those also went to needy pastors, and again there came the letters of thanks and further evidence of need. Many men were trying to maintain homes and bring up families on meager incomes.

Although there was still no public mention of what Mrs. Spurgeon had done, money continued to arrive and with it urgent requests that she continue the good work. For instance, one man sent £50, asking that she send a copy of the Lectures to the nearly 500 pastors of the Calvinistic Methodist Churches of North Wales. Then another £50 came to help defray the costs of that undertaking. That was followed by £100 to send the book to the ministers of the same denomination in South Wales.

News of the gifts spread still further, and ministers of various denominations wrote, stating that a copy of the Lectures, the Treasury; or Spurgeon's other writings would be of great help, but that they were too poor to purchase them. And as those letters reached Mrs. Spurgeon, more money arrived. She could see she had a lasting work to do, an undertaking given by God.......There were times she performed her duties in weakness and pain, and other times she was so ill that her labors were entirely prevented.

Nevertheless, over and above the value of the books and the goods to the various recipients, the enterprise was especially valuable to Mrs. Spurgeon herself. It gave her reason to feel that despite her condition she was able to serve. Spurgeon spoke of the endeavour as divinely ordered, and he reported the change it had made in Susannah, saying:

I gratefully adore the goodness of our Heavenly Father, in directing my beloved wife to a work which has been to her fruitful in unutterable happiness. That it has cost her more pain than it would be fitting to reveal, is most true; but that it has brought her boundless joy is equally certain. Our gracious Lord ministered to His suffering child in the most effectual manner, when He graciously led her to minister to the necessities of His service.

By this means He called her away from her personal grief, gave tone and concentration to her life, led her to continual dealings with Himself, and raised her nearer the centre of that region where other than earthly joys and sorrows reigned supreme. Let every believer accept this as the inference of experience, that for most human maladies the best relief and antidote will be found in self-sacrificing work for the Lord Jesus.

And Mrs. Spurgeon testified: "I am personally indebted to the dear friends who have furnished me with the means of making others happy. For me there has been a double blessing. I have been both recipient and donor... My days have been made indescribably bright and happy by the delightful duties connected with the work and its little arrangements.... That I seem to be living in an atmosphere of blessing and love, and can truly say with the Psalmist, "My cup runneth over." Read more.....

What is the meaning of Life?

Whenever I am severely depressed, this question will surface over and over again. During an episode of severe depression that is clinical and last between 3 to 6 months or sometimes longer, to have to face this question every day is a tremendous challenge. Due to some chemical imbalance in my brain in such an episode, I couldn't think clearly nor feel rightly. Depression has a way of numbing my brain so that I am either not able to concentrate to read or think, or my thoughts will be all negative and condemning myself. I seemed incapable of doing anything or deriving any joy in anything I used to enjoy. I could not feel aright, my feelings are either flat most of the time or down most of the time. For some people, during severe depression they will break down in tears and sometimes cry for no particular reasons. For me it was the opposite. In the face of such tremendous pain and struggles, I wanted very much to cry as I felt that may help to release the pain and frustration I am going through during such an episode, but often there are no tears.

During such a episode, I dread to wake up each morning as I couldn't bring myself to face each day. Every morning, when I wake up, I found myself asking over and over again, What is the meaning of life? What is the point of going on like this day after day? I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. There is no way out of this depths. I have no energy to fight on. So many times I prayed that God will take me home. Living on without the ability to enjoy His love, His Words, public worship, personal devotions, family, friends, work, hobbies, etc is so meaningless. During severe depression, nothing seems to help. Day in day out, night in night out, is the same thing and it goes on for days, weeks, months. Others said they have been depressed before and they just prayed, look to God and they are better. But in severe clinical depression, nothing helps. So no one will understand. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here to go through this suffering over and over again as I have been through it some 12 times by now?

I thank God for leading me to seek help at Counselling and Care Centre in Singapore in January 2007. In my first 2 sessions with my counsellor, Sarah, I recounted to her my past relapses of severe clinical depression in the last 20 years. Sarah noted at the end of my second session with her that there is a phrase I keep repeating and that is during every depressive episodes I will wonder "What is the meaning of Life?". Sarah felt that there is a necessity for me to explore this question and to see how I can get a more realistic and biblical view on this question as that will have an impact in my recovery.

When I first saw Sarah in end January 2007, I had just sought medical help and was on anti-depressant (20mg Fluoxetine or common brand name Prozac). Thank God that I am very sensitive to medication and 1 week after taking Fluoxetine, I was feeling better and more functional. The anti-depressant did not cure me totally but it lifted me up to a more functional level so that I can pray and read the Bible once again and find comfort in God and His Words. I was able to wake up without dreading to face each day and therefore able to cope better with work and life in general. The anti-depressant helped to lift up to a level where my thoughts and feelings are more normal, and I can think more rationally. It was then that I can benefit from counsellings/psychotherapy.

So I was more rational and able to think more clearly when I saw Sarah. After hearing my accounts, Sarah asked me what I think is the meaning of life? Sarah wants me to go home and think about this question and to discuss with her in our next counselling session the following week.

At that time, I was seeing Sarah once a week for about an hour each session. Thank God for my employer and colleauges who allowed me to take time off during working hours to see Sarah. Sarah works in a team with several other counsellors, and our sessions are video taped with my permission. In the room where Sarah counselled me, I only get to see her. Her other colleagues in her team were in the next room, watching the video of our taped session. Towards the end of the session, Sarah will go for a short break of 10 mins to discuss with her team members. She will then come back and conclude the session with me by highlighting some discoveries we made during our sessions and to post some question for me to take home and think and pray about. This was how she helped me to explore my thoughts as I do have some faulty or unhelpful thinking patterns which are so ingrafted in me that I am not conscious of them. But they have tremendous negative effects on my life and learning to identify them will help me to challenge them and turn them to more realistic and biblical thoughts and actions. This is the gift of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or counselling/talk therapy/psychotherapy. I will share more about CBT in future posts.

So on my second session with Sarah, I took the question "What is the meaning of Life?" home with me to pray and explore it further.

To be continued......