Saturday, May 10, 2008

Coping with false guilt during depression

There is still such a terrible stigma associated with mental illness and depression even among Christian. There is the common belief that depression is due to a weakness in character or lack of faith in God. The truth is depression is a complex condition and there are many factors that led to it as well as caused it. There is no easy answer to the treatment or recovery either.

If you or your loved ones are suffering from prolonged and severe depression, I highly recommend that you read the series of studies done by Dr David P Murray on "Depression and the Christian" as he explored in very biblical and balanced manner on the causes of depression, the condition, restoration and how family or friends can help.

Dr David P Murray mentioned in his first message "Depression and the Christian: The Crisis":
“Being depressed is bad enough in itself, but being a depressed Christian is worse. And being a depressed Christian in a church full of people who do not understand depression is like a little taste of hell.”[3]

As we all know there is a terrible stigma attached to mental illness. This is the result of widespread misunderstanding about its causes, its symptoms, and the “cures” available. Some of the misunderstanding is understandable. Unlike cancer or heart disease or arthritis, there is no scan or test which can visibly demonstrate the existence of depression/anxiety. It is a largely “invisible” disease. We want to be able to point to something and say, “There’s the problem!” When we can’t, we often wrongly conclude, “There is no problem!” Or, if we are Christians, we may, usually wrongly, conclude, “My spiritual life is the problem!”
It is normal to feel ups and downs at different time in our life. We all experience different moods throughout the day. But when depression is chronic, lasting every day for more than 2 weeks and affected one's life and ability to function, it is clinical depression and it is a medical condition that needs to be treated.

Sometimes depression could be due to a mood disorder such as bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) in which the biological changes in our brain and body brings about depression. Different things may triggered off an episode or sometimes it happened for no apparent reason.

Clinical Depression is a serious condition that needs to be treated. Without treatment it can last for months and the sufferer can be severely impaired. Even though clinical depression may not be due to something wrong in the spiritual life of the sufferer, it can have adverse spiritual consequences in terms of the believer not able to enjoy God and various means of grace until he gets better.

If you are a Christian and suffering from severe depression daily for more than 2 weeks and you can hardly function, do seek medical help as soon as you can. It is the depression that took away your ability to enjoy anything in life, including God and His Words, worship and His people, your family, friends, work, hobbies, recreation, etc etc. You will notice that you don't enjoy anything generally. Your thoughts and feelings are either negative or flat. You need medical help or alternative medicine help. Depending on the level of your depression, you probably will benefit from a combination of help such as counselling, regular exercise, regular sleep and meals, etc etc. But if however you tried you can't benefit from the later, then you need medical help to restore the chemical imbalance in your brain first before you can benefit from the later. Once the chemical in your brain is restored you will be able to enjoy these things again.

One common experience Christian who loves God dearly, will experience during severe clinical depression, is the inability to enjoy God and His Words, worship or fellowship. With this come the additional pain of false guilt.

Dr David P Murray mentioned in his first message on "Depression and the Christian: The Crisis":
We might say that there are three main elements in our make-up that affect our overall well-being: our body, our soul, and our mind (our thoughts). These are not three watertight and disconnected entities. There is considerable overlap and connectivity. When our body breaks down, it affects our spiritual life and our thinking processes. When our spiritual life is in poor condition, our thoughts are affected, and often our bodily health and functions also. It is therefore no surprise that when our mental health is poor, when our thinking processes go awry, that there are detrimental physical and spiritual consequences.

The depressed believer cannot concentrate to read or pray. He doesn’t want to meet people and so may avoid church and fellowships. He often feels God has abandoned him.

Moreover, it is often the case that faith, instead of being a help, can actually cause extra problems in dealing with depression. There is, for instance, the false guilt associated with the false conclusion, “Real Christians don’t get depressed.” There is also the usually mistaken tendency to locate the cause of mental illness in our spiritual life, our relationship with God, which also increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness.
Dr David P Murray emphasized the importance of studying depression. He said :
One great benefit of having some knowledge about depression is that it will prevent the dangerous and damaging misunderstanding which often leads people, especially Christians, to view medication as a rejection of God and His grace, rather than a provision of God and His grace.
How should a Christian cope with the false guilt and spiritual consequences of depression? Dr David P Murray suggested:
We have tried to emphasise that for Christians their depression is usually not caused by spiritual factors. However, there are spiritual consequences in all depressions. There are a number of steps a depressed Christian can take to help reverse at least some of the spiritual consequences. You may find Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ book Spiritual Depression to be helpful in this regard – although he can be a bit sweeping and dogmatic in his generalisations. Here are some practical things you can do to help address the spiritual consequences of depression.

(i) Accept that being depressed is not a sin and indeed is compatible with Christianity. Many Bible characters and many of the greatest Christians passed through times of depression.

(ii) Try to understand that your loss of spiritual feelings is not the cause of your depression, but rather the depression has caused a general loss of feeling in all parts of your life, your spiritual life included.

(iii) Patiently wait for the corrections in your lifestyle, thinking, or brain chemistry to have an effect on your feelings as a whole and your spiritual life will pick up at the same time also.

(iv) Have a set time for reading your Bible and praying. Depressed Christians may either give up reading and praying, or they may try to read and pray “excessively” in order to try and bring back their spiritual feelings. Both approaches are unhelpful. Instead, set aside a regular time each day to read and pray. If concentration is a problem, keep things short (5-10 minutes) until you feel better. Depression will only be deepened by setting unrealistic spiritual goals.

(v) Bring objective truth to mind (e.g.: the doctrine of justification, or the atonement), especially “positive” verses which set forth God’s love, mercy and grace for sinners (e.g.: Rom.8:1; 8:38-39; 1 Jn.4:9-10; 1 Jn.1:9). You may want to write out a verse and carry it around with you. When negative thoughts overwhelm you, bring out the verse and meditate upon it.

(vi) When you pray, tell God exactly how you feel. Be totally honest. Ask God to help you with your doubts and fears and to restore to you the joy of salvation. Thank Him for loving you and being with you even though you do not feel His love or presence. Praying for others who suffer can also help to turn your thoughts away from yourself for a time.

(vii) Keep going to church and seek out the fellowship of one or two sympathetic Christians you can confide in, and ask them to pray with you and for you. Be careful about who you talk to. Sadly, some Christians cannot keep confidences, and others will have little understanding of or sympathy for your condition.

(viii) Remember God loves you as you are, not as you would like to be.

The pain and anguish of going through depression is awful beyond words. For those of us who go through severe clinical depression that robbed us of all ability to enjoy anything including God and left us almost crippled and unfunctional, we know just how hard it was to get up of bed every morning.

It is difficult sometimes to understand why we have to go through so much sufferings. We may not always get the answer on this side of heaven. But our greatest comfort is that God loves us and He is in control. He sovereignly allows us to go through these painful sufferings for His sovereign purposes. Sufferings are part of life in this fallen world. One benefit we can derived from our sufferings, whether it be due to depression or other trials or afflictions, is that we are drawn closer to God as we find our refuge and strength in Him. We began to know God as Who He is when we experienced His unconditional love and faithfulness in sustaining and delivering us from such great sufferings. Sometimes we feel forsaken by God but in reality God has never forsaken us. He is with us and He sustains and deliver us. Perhaps through our pain of depression we can understand a little better what the Lord felt when He was on the cross to pay the penalty of our sins and experienced the pain and agony of being forsaken by His Heavenly Father. Oh, how precious is the Lord to us when we have experienced such pain and suffering.

I like what Edward T Welch said towards the end of the video "Depression - A Stubborn Darkness" which I posted yesterday. Do watch this video if you have not seen it. He said:

"The people I know who struggle with depression and have persevered with me and with other people in the body of Christ and with the Lord, those are my heroes. Those are people, they struggled, every day is hard but they get up out of bed every day simply out of this weak obedience to Christ. And I find that to be so incredibly heroic"

I read of another author too who said that he felt the true heroes are those who persevered in life despite a broken mind.

So that makes you and I some kind of a heroes, doesn't it, when we persevered daily despite the pains and brokenness of our mind :-)

Let us cling onto God during depression and pray and seek to do that which is necessary to restore the chemical imbalance in our brain, correct our thoughts and lifestyle, and wait patiently for God's deliverance in His time. May God draw us nearer to Himself and enable us to know His enduring and unfailing love during such time.

Friday, May 9, 2008

A video on Depression - A Stubborn Darkness by Edward T Welch

My friend and brother-in-Christ, George, sent me a link to a very encouraging video on depression "Depression - A Stubborn Darkness" by Edward T Welch. It turned out to be a video that was posted by another of my friend and brother-in-Christ, John.

This short and moving video on depression sheds some light on depression and it's impact upon the sufferer and his loved ones.

If you are a Christian and you are suffering from prolonged clinical depression, you will likely have to cope with false guilt. I recommend that you read the messages of Dr David P Murray on the "Depression and the Christian" and you will find much encouragement and help. Clinical depression is a medical condition that can be treated. I hope you will seek help besides praying to God.

Know that you are not alone and we can find comfort in God and His Word while we await His restoration through His Words and the various means He has made available for us in this generation.

Hope this short video will bring some comfort to you if you or your loved ones are suffering from depression.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5825004682085410590




How do you find this video? Has it in anyway speaks to you? Has it helped you to see yours or your loved ones' sufferings in a different way?

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed day!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Thankful Thursday











My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73:26
Thank God for seeing me through another week. The last 1 week have been quite a difficult week for me as my health has not been good and I have gone through many difficult challenges. But thank God that though my flesh and my heart failed at times, God is the strength of my heart and my portion through the past 1 week and forever more. So I have many things to thank God for :-)

I am thankful to God for sustaining me daily and giving me grace and strength to live for Him. I am still learning to manage my condition. As you probably know, I suffer from a condition called bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness). This is a neurological and medical condition that can be treated. It alternates between manic and depression. There are pockets of time when I am more "normal" :-)

Besides medication there are various helps available in coping with my condition such as regular exercise, minimizing stress, healthy meal, regular sleep and recreation, etc etc. In the recent weeks, my health has been fluctuating as I am managing more stress in terms of my freelance work and other challenges in my life. The last few days have been particularly trying as I have been experiencing panic attacks due to some stressful situations. Stress and strained are my main triggering factors in my condition and so I am looking to the Lord daily for grace and wisdom to manage. I thank God for His faithfulness in seeing me through the many challenges and for strengthening me.

Thank God that His Words have bring great encouragement and comfort to me this week as I searched through them in the face of various challenges.

Thank God for the joy of worship and fellowship on the Lord's day. Thank God for a soul-searching message on maintaining a right relationship with God's children that will please God.

Thank God that the church Aunty who went through the surgery last Tuesday was able to come for worship last Lord's day and we had a blessed time of fellowship.

Thank God for family and friends who puts up with my many limitations and loved me just the way I am and help me to grow in many wonderful ways. Their love and support is precious to me. Thank God for my mother who takes such wonderful care of me even while I seek to care for her. Thank God for my sister's family for spending time with my mum and me this week.

Thank God for 2 friends who helped me to brain-storm some difficult decisions recently and helped me to learn and grow through these difficult experiences.

Thank God for enabling me to complete one freelance assignment ahead of time and enabling me to start on a new one now. Thank God for His provisions.

Thank God for providing for my daily bread and so many blessings in His wonderful ways, and through the kindness of His beloved people .

Thank God for Iris' labours of love in hosting Thankful Thursday.

Thank God for the joy of participating on Thankful Thursday. Reading the various encouraging Thankful Thursday posts on so many blogs have helped me to count my blessings and be more thankful. Sometimes when the road is tough and the days are difficult, it is easy to forget that God is still with us and have shower us with many blessings. So I am thankful to God that through Thankful Thursday I can step aside from the challenges of the day, the tiredness, the stress and whatever else, to just reflect upon God's blessings and goodness to me. Praise Him that I do have many things to be thankful for!

Thank God for all of you, my dear blogging friends, other friends and readers, for stopping by, reading my posts and encouraging me by sharing with me your thoughts and reflections either via comment or email.

Thank God for the many blogs that I can visit daily and all the encouragements I derived from your blogs. Thanks for sharing your life with me. It is so wonderful to find such friendships and support online. God be praised!

How about you? How has the Lord blessed you through the past week?

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed and thankful day!

For more participants of Thankful Thursday, do visit Iris at Sting My Heart. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Word-Filled Wednesday : the LORD sustained me (Psalm 3:5)





I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me. Psalm 3:5
Thank God for restful night and each new day that we can walk with our Lord and serve Him.

One of my friends and sister-in-Christ, Joyce L., gave me this lovely gift. She put the pieces of jigsaw puzzles together and frame it up.

I scanned the picture and put in this Bible verse that reminds me the Lord sustains me while I am sleeping or when I am awake.

For more Word-Filled Wednesday participants, do visit Amy at The 160 Acre Woods. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!

Thank you for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed day!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

It Matters to Me about You

Today, I found this encouraging poem that reminded me afresh that God cares for me. No matter what I go through in this life, He is with me. The difficulties, trials or afflictions that pained me at times, are actually working together for my good in God's wonderful providence.

God is doing a deeper work in my soul to make me what He wants me to be. God is conforming me more and more to the image of Christ. The process is painful but necessary. This is the only way I can bear fruit for Christ.

This reminder helps me to see my difficulties and afflictions due to bipolar or depression, panic attacks, stress and other difficulties, from a different angle and to value what God is doing in me through them. It helps me to face every tomorrow with God's strength and grace.

I know God loves me and He is with me. God has His purposes in all that I am going through and He will accomplished His purposes in and through me. I am a weak vessel and an instrument in the hands of a mighty God.

I humbly submit to His will and pray that I may learn to glorify Him even in the furnace of affliction because He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

If you are going through a very difficult and painful time now or suffering in some ways, I hope this poem and the reminder that God cares for you will bring some comfort and uplift your heart to Him Who loved us and gave His Son for us for nothing shall ever separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)

IT MATTERS TO ME ABOUT YOU

My child, I know thy sorrows,
Thine every grief I share;
I know how thou art tested,
And, what is more - I care.

Think not I am indifferent
To what affecteth thee;
Thy weal and woe are matters
Of deep concern to Me.

But, child, I have a purpose
In all that I allow;
I ask thee then to trust Me,
Though all seems dark just now.

How often thou hast asked Me
To purge away thy dross!
But this refining process
Involves for thee - a cross.

There is no other pathway
If thou would'st really be
Conformed unto the image
Of Him Who died for thee.

Thou can'st not be like Jesus
Till self is crucified;
And as a daily process
The cross must be applied.

Just as the skillful gard'ner
Applies the pruning knife,
E'en so, I too would sever
The worthless from thy life.

I have but one sole object -
That thou should'st fruitful be!
And is it not thy longing
That I much fruit should see?

Then shrink not from the training
I needs must give to thee;
I know just how to make thee
What I would have thee be.

Remember that I love thee!
Think not I am unkind,
When trials come to prove thee,
And joy seems left behind.

'Tis but a little longer
Until I come again;
What now seems so mysterious
Will all be then made plain.

Take courage then; and fear not!
Press forward to the prize,
A crown of life awaits thee,
Glory before thee lies!

- Alice C. Lefroy
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings,
and not one of them is forgotten before God?
But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear not therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows.
(Luke 12:6,7)

This photo is taken by my brother-in-Christ, CW Fong. Thank God for his kindness to share this lovely picture with us.

Thank you for stopping by.

What do you think of this poem? Do you also see God's works in your life through your trials, pains and sufferings? Can you find comfort in God's love even through your difficulties or sufferings?

Take care. Have a blessed day!