Friday, April 11, 2008

Resting in God's promises

















I found this card among my collections of bookmarks and card. It brings smile to my face when I saw the contented look this bear has :-)

I am reminded anew that when we rest in God's promises, we can find much contentment, peace and joy in Him, irrespective of our outward circumstances, physical infirmities or inner struggles. God's presence and His Words can calm any storms in our life and give us hope to face uncertain tomorrows.

We serve such a great God! How I need to remember that! Sometimes, difficult circumstances, stressful situations, physical or mental strain, caused me to forget to cling on to God's promises. I may know God's Words and great doctrine in my mind, but I forgot to apply it to the particular situations in my life or forgot to keep hanging on to God's promises. It seems to be a moment by moment cling to God and His Words, and living by faith from moment to moment. Not just applying God's Words today or to a particular situation yesterday, but every day and to every situation. And it is only possible by God's enablement. That's why prayers and God's Words are important to me. In my own strength I am not able to face each day. But in God's strength, I am more than conquerors through Him Who loved us. I am weak but He is strong, and His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. He gives me the strength and grace to live for Him each day.

Whatever our needs are for the moments, the answer is to be found in the Bible, if we take time to search for it. Whatever we are feeling, whatever we are suffering, whatever we are hoping, the Bible has something to say. Thank God for guiding us, comforting us and strengthening us through His Words and promises.

The only time when I can't enjoy prayers or reading of God's Words is when I am severely depressed. At such time what I experienced is called clinical depression. It is not just feeling down for a few days and then get better. It usually lasted 3 to 6 months or longer. I have had such experience some 11 times over the last 20 years. During such time the chemical in my brain was not functioning properly and I can't think or feel aright. At such time, what I found to be most painful was I can't find any comfort in God's Words or know His presence though He is with me. Thank God for sustaining and restoring me. Thankfully after my diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) last year, I know that this is a medical condition that can be treated. With medical help, I am experiencing relieve from severe depression by it being shortened and I am lifted up to a level that I can function and benefit from God's Words and other helps. I am learning now to manage my condition so that my down time can either be prevented or shortened, and I can live a more stable life and be useful for the Lord.

Some of God's precious promises in the Bible, which I find great comfort and encouragement in, and I am learning to cling on to are as follows:

1) When I am fearful

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee." Isaiah 41:1-2

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

"....we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:27


2) When I feel lonely or wonder if God loves me

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jeremiah 31:3

"...I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5


3) When I feel troubled, lost or confused

"For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death." Psalm 48:14

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
4) When I feel very weak and tired

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13


Thank God for His many wonderful promises in His Words. May God enable us to rest in His wonderful promises and enjoy His peace which passeth all understanding, and joy to walk with Him and serve Him, no matter what we have to go through. He is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. His grace is sufficient for us and we can do all things through Him who strengtheneth us.

How about you? Which among God's many wonderful promises in His Words is/are most precious to you?
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, …. 2 Peter 3:9

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) … Hebrews 10:23

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Resting On God



















One of my friends and sister-in-Christ, Joyce L., gave me this lovely gift. She put the pieces of jigsaw puzzles together and frame it up. She told me to remember to rest and sleep whenever I feel very tired, physically or mentally. She knows that whenever I am well or better, I am slightly manic and tend to do a lot of things, and tends to be very tired after that. She realized that if I do not get enough rest for a period of time and face much stress daily, I will eventually plunged into severe depression. Thank God for her love and kindness.

One of the thing I found really helpful recently when I felt overly strained and stressed, is to break away from whatever I was doing and just go for some rest, sleep or break. A tired and stretched brain doesn't function very well and thoughts can be distorted, which in turned can affect my feelings and behaviours. A tired and overly strained body can't function very well either.

As my freelance projects involved a lot of concentration and mental strength, I do feel more easily tired mentally. Thank God that working freelance allows me to work around my schedule and health whenever my deadlines are manageable. So I can break away from my work and just go to seek the Lord in prayers or read God's Words. I also can go and rest when I am too tired or stressed up. I normally don't need to take a nap but recently I have been needing to do that. And the rest is indeed helpful. A short nap can rejuvenate me to continue with my tasks later on.

Whenever I am manic, I have difficulty keeping to my sleeping hours as I have many racing thoughts and projects in my mind. There are 101 things that I wanted to do. But shorter sleeping hours are both a trigger as well as a symptom of manic. Sometimes I forget about this. Too many nights of sleeping lesser hours and not enough rest will caused my body to be very very tired and eventually may even plunged me into depression. Overly stretched brain and body cause the chemical in my brain to go topsy turvy. Recognizing this pattern is still not easy but I am learning by and by.

I suspect I am feeling the extreme tiredness now because of the effect of manic recently. Though I have attempted to slow down, I am still pretty occupied. I am praying for God's grace now to take short breaks throughout the day. I also try my best to exercise daily. And now I make it a point to rest when I feel very tired. And if necessary, I take a day off from my routine. On Tuesday, it was good because in the morning I went out with a friend for a short freelance project. Then in the afternoon my sister and her family came and we had a great time together. My nephew and nieces played some simple games with me and we had a great time.

A frequent reaction to daily stresses is insomnia. Thank God that my medications ie Lamictal, a mood stabiliser and Seroquel, an anti-psychotic, do help with my sleep and I take them just before I sleep. So far I don't have insomnia. So I am keeping to my sleeping hours as much as I can as I realize that it is important in managing bipolar as well as stress.

Thank God that He gives us physical rest and sleep, and strengthen and refresh our body, soul and mind, to walk anew with Him each day. Every night, I shall lay down and sleep, I commit myself and all things into His loving hands, and I will awake the next day with the joy of the Lord, because the LORD sustained me!

Thank God that He gives us spiritual rest in Him too, and refresh our soul as we rest in Him.

Thank God that I am feeling so much better now. Though physically still rather tired but I have much peace and joy in the Lord once again. The heaviness of heart and weight of cares in the recent weeks, seemed to have been lifted up by our Lord. My circumstances didn't change very much but my thoughts and feelings have changed. Thank God that He is working in my heart to strengthen me and enable me to rest in Him.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragements, my dear friends and blogging friends. May we find rest in God daily, physically, mentally and spiritually, and be refreshed each day to continue to know Him, love Him and serve Him wherever He places us. To God be the glory!

RESTING ON GOD

O GOD MOST HIGH, MOST GLORIOUS,
The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
thy greatness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
and my defeats are thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrow,
to leave every concern entirely to thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great shepherd,
hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;
unbelief mars my confidence,
sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to thee,
that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God.

(Taken from "The Valley of Vision", A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, Edited by Arthur Bennett, Published by The Banner of Truth Trust, 1997, Page 129.)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Managing Stress

One of the main triggering factors in the past years of my severe depression episodes which usually lasted between 3 to 6 months or sometimes longer, seemed to be prolonged stress and strain.

Recently, I was experiencing great stress and strain from several areas of my life, and was feeling very very tired and down at times. Thank God for hearing my prayers and comforting me through His Words. Thank God for sending family and friends to help me see things from different perspectives, reminding me how to manage stress or reduce stress, and how not to be discouraged by what I was going through. Thank God for drawing me nearer to Himself to learn once again to be more dependent upon Him, to hope in Him and look to Him, and apply His Words and promises to situations I am.

I am still learning to manage stressors in my life, to recognize early signs that I am getting too stressed and what I can do besides praying, to practically manage these stressors.

Recently, Jim, commented on one of my posts "The Stiller of my soul", on his view of stress
For me, I can handle stress and I love the challenges of stress. Without some stress to get me to focus on a problem we might do almost nothing and I do perform best while under stress. Stress can’t be avoided. The challenge is for me to keep learning how to reduce the level of stress by using it to work for me not against me.
I don't like stress but I can't avoid it. I can't function very well when I am too stressed. My challenge is like what Jim stated, how to reduce the level of stress to a level I can manage and use it to work for me and not against me.

I realized that I need to learn to manage stress otherwise, prolonged stress and strain, will bring about a relapse of severe depression episodes. Prolonged and excessive stress seemed to be one of my greatest triggering factors of depression and I realized now that I must learn to be more aware and to take necessary action to manage it, besides praying. In the past years, I failed to realized this, and therefore I keep going through prolonged stress and strain, and then depression episode without understanding why.

My Pastor wrote a very helpful article "Biblical Stress Handling". He said stress is always present with us because we are a thinking and emotional being. As a thinking being, we make choices based on what we perceive to be most satisfying, or having the best outcome in our reckoning. Such being the case, if we were to live in a vacuum, and we can do all we wants, we would always be happy. But man is a finite creature, who is not always able to control the environment we live in or the circumstances surrounding our life. Thus, we often finds ourselves in situations which we prefers not to be in. When that happens, stress results. And since every person is made differently, we can expect to be stressed in many different ways.

In fact, what may be relaxing to one person may be stressful to another, and vice versa. If you are a person who enjoys a fast-paced life, and cannot stand not doing anything for a moment, you may find it very stressful to sit at the beach to relax for a while, or even to go to the toilet without a book in your hand! But if you are a person who hates pressure, you can find it stressful just to see someone walking quickly across the room!

Stress is not all that bad. It is part and parcel of human life and is a manifestation of the very different ways in which God has made us and the many different circumstances that He providentially puts us in. Many of us are stressed because of work pressures: tight schedules, unreasonable bosses and colleagues, many late nights, office politics, etc. Some of us are stressed because of demands of the family: misunderstandings between husband and wife, financial strains, illnesses, decisions pertaining to the children’s education, the interference of in-laws in the family affairs, etc. Others are stressed at school: assignments and project deadlines, examinations, relationship problems, competition among peers, etc. Even driving or walking along the road can be stressful. The list of factors contributing to stress in the modern society is practically inexhaustible. They are part and parcel of our lives.

However, stress, if it leads to frustration and is prolonged, can be harmful spiritually and physically. It is a well-known fact that too much stress can result in physical and psychosomatic disorders such as high blood pressure, heart diseases, ulcers, insomnia, migraine, and even eczema. It is less well known that prolonged stress, if not properly handled, can lead to spiritual depression and desperation, which is sin (cf. 2 Cor 4:8). Stress may also lead to manic depression.

I do agree with my Pastor's writing above. My Pastor suggested the following on how to handled stress:

1) Be aware

Firstly, you should be aware if you are feeling stressed. You are probably stressed if you feel a great but inexplicable pressure upon you. You should suspect you are stressed if you find yourself becoming unusually impatient and irritable. You know you are stressed when you carry a frown all day long and find it hard to smile or laugh; and find that Proverbs 14:13 describes you very well: "Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness." Under such circumstance, you may even doubt your salvation because you feel miserable and loose focus of the purpose for your existence.

2) Pray

Secondly, and most obviously, you should pray. The Apostle Peter urges us to cast our anxieties upon the Lord because He cares for us (1 Pet 5:6–7). Come to the Lord therefore, with your burdens. Cry out unto Him as did the psalmist (Ps 18:6). Cry out to Him as your Abba Father who loves you and cares about every aspect of your life. Ask Him to grant you not only contentment in the midst of turmoil, but ask for wisdom and strength to handle the particular situations in your life. Pray for peace of conscience. Pray for guidance and help.

3) Be biblical

Many Christians are greatly stressed to the point of exhaustion because there is a general failure to observe the Lord’s Sabbath today. There is a certain sense in which the Sabbath is a primary means of stress-relief appointed by God. The Sabbath is the legislated rest day for all men, but especially for the child of God: "Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work…" (Ex 20:9–10).

4) Be God-centred

Fourthly, look away from self and man to God. Personal expectation and peer expectation are often the major causes of stress. If you are feeling stressed because of a sense of personal helplessness in a particular situation that you are in; then I would simply suggest that if you have already done what you could, that you should learn to submit the rest to the Lord. Some problems are simply beyond your control. Acknowledge your limitations and present your case to the Lord. When you have done so, you really have no reason to feel frustrated, as it would be to distrust the Lord.

The situation is quite different with peer expectation. Many of us are stressed because of what we perceived to be what others expect of us. This is not all bad, but sometimes we can become too sensitive so that we feel a tremendous amount of pressure when there need not be any. So, learn not to be overtly conscious about what others think about you. Rather than being concerned with what others think of you, be concerned only with what God thinks of you. Look to the Lord, not to man.

5) Communicate

Fifthly, learn to communicate. There is some truth to the popular adage: "A blessing shared is doubled; a burden shared is halved." Besides, it is imperative for saints to bear each other’s woes: "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2). So make sure that you share your burdens with brothers or sisters in Christ who can empathise or at least sympathise with you. This may be your spouse, your parents, your siblings or your friends. Make time for Christian fellowship. A healthy soul should generally experience much blessing from godly Christian fellowship.


Also, learn to speak your mind when you find that you are being stressed because of some decisions or actions by your bosses. I am, of course, not advocating cathartic philosophy of stress reduction by gossiping against the boss with others who view him as a common enemy. I am referring to speaking to your boss himself. Do not bottle-up and get more and more stressed-up and frustrated.


6) Relax


Sixthly, learn to make use of lawful means for relaxation. Remember that what may be relaxing for one person may be stressful for another. Sports and exercises are also legitimate means of relaxation, which are very helpful for stress relief.


Remember that man is a two-part being. Exercise is generally recognised as an effective stress relieving activity. Similarly, it is not wrong for Christians to have fun, though we may be amazed at why we should be allowed to have pleasure despite our sin. Learn to laugh at the appropriate time (Ecc 3:4). A Christian needs not and should not go about with a sorrowful countenance. Laughter and smiling are definitely good medicine for stress: "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken" (Prov 15:13).


7) Plan

Seventhly, planning your time well is a good preventive to stress built-up. But again remember that we are made differently. Some of us find it useful to have an hourly timetable, others prefer to plan by day or week. But some form of plan, however imprecise, is always useful. When you plan, however, always bear in mind that God is in sovereign control over all that happen and will happen in your life. So all your plans must be accompanied by a Deo Volente—God willing (Jas 4:13–15). As such, do not worry about what would happen if things do not turn out as planned. "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Mt 6:34). Learn to submit your life entirely to the Lord.



Learning to manage stress seemed to be a day by day experience for me as I learn to recognize what can stress me up and how much I can manage or what stress level works best for me to function optimally. And what I can do when I am overly stressed and how best to reduce stress to a manageable level.

Stress management can be a constant challenge to us who have bipolar, depression or other mood disorders. Minor stress can become major or prolonged stress, if not recognized and managed effectively and reduce to a manageable level. And major and prolonged stress will trigger off depression in us who have mood disorders. Others without mood disorders may not fall into depression due to prolonged stress but some of us will definitely find ourselves in the pit soon enough. So I thank God for teaching me through many ways and many people how I can manage and minimize stress before it become prolonged stress which may trigger off severe depression episode like past years.

Thanks again for your prayers and encouragements! Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness daily. I look forward to each day the Lord gives me in which I can know Him better, love Him more and serve Him and His people. To Him be the glory!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Learning from our experiences

I just visited Syd's blog "Bipolarity" and am greatly encouraged to read of the Lord's mercies to her in her current struggles with recurrence depression. Syd wrote :

However, I believe that what really turned my situation around is the most commonly available and absolutely free "medication" known to man... prayer. When I finally realized that I would never be able to resolve all of the issues I was facing by myself, I realized that I had no choice but to let them go. Instead asking "Why me?", I asked "Why?" And when I did, I began to realize that much more important than the pain I was facing was the lesson the pain was meant to teach me. Instead of asking for specific answers to specific prayer requests, I started praying that "Thy will be done." Then, I did something that was truly revolutionary for me. Not only did I significantly increase the amount and intensity of my prayer time, but during that time, I stopped talking, and started listening. And the more I listened, the more I heard. And the more I heard, the better I felt. And now, a mere week later, I can honestly say that many of the issues have been resolved - completely. And equally as important, for those that remain, my perspective towards them has changed. While things may not appear much different to the untrained eye from the outside, I know on the inside that I'm going to be OK.

Thank God that He draw us nearer to Him and give us peace as we learn to cast our cares and anxieties, confusions and pains, to Him. God has a purpose in allowing us to go through various experiences in life. We are sinners saved by grace and pilgrims in a fallen world. Therefore we can expect all kinds of challenges daily and very often much tribulation. I am reminded that we are through much tribulation to enter into the kingdom of God.

Every one of us has a cross to carry daily. Yours differ from mine. I will not be able to carry your cross no matter how light I think it looks to me. Neither can you carry mine. But God give us grace daily to carry our crosses and follow Him. He has many lessons to teach us of Himself, ourselves and others, and what really matters in life.

Recently, I experienced much mood swings partly due to the after effect for many weeks of manic, partly due to various challenges I am facing some of which are extremely stressful. Stress is something I am still learning to manage and I know from past experiences that if I do not manage stress well or reduce it to a manageable level, it will bring about a relapse of severe depression.

What can I learn from my difficult experiences recently? I am learning through this difficult experience to be more dependent upon God. Jim reminded me :

"The main thing to understand and remember is that Jesus is MY SHEPHERD that He will supply all my needs (Phil. 4:19) and that He knows everything about my life (Ps. 139:3), cares about me (1 Pet. 5:7), has the power for every difficulty (Ps. 62:11), is perfecting me to be like Christ (Phil. 1:6), and that nothing escapes Him (Ps. 147:5), that will lead me to be stable, not anxious living."

I realized that some times I failed to apply Scripture Truths to certain situations in my life and my feelings and emotions can overwhelmed me. It's a moment by moment looking to God and keep clinging on to His precious promises, irregardless of outward circumstances. There may be times in my life when God allows me to go through difficult experiences for His own purposes. As I looked back now, these have all been growing experiences for me in which I know God's love and mercies better.

I thank God for sustaining me through the last few weeks. The situations in my life have not changed very much but God has strengthened me. I have much peace and joy in Him now as I learn to cast my cares upon Him and look to Him. There may be many and various challenges ahead of me, I pray the Lord will keep my eyes upon Him and grant me the grace to wait upon Him and to seek to walk in His ways, knowing that He loved me and is with me.

Monday, April 7, 2008

I will fear no evil, for thou art with me

This evening, I misread Spurgeon's devotional note in his Morning and Evening but it turned out to be the very message I need to read!

Spurgeon was writing on Psalm 23 verse 4 "“I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.” Spurgeon wrote
Behold, how independent of outward circumstances the Holy Ghost can make the Christian! What a bright light may shine within us when it is all dark without! How firm, how happy, how calm, how peaceful we may be, when the world shakes to and fro, and the pillars of the earth are removed! Even death itself, with all its terrible influences, has no power to suspend the music of a Christian’s heart, but rather makes that music become more sweet, more clear, more heavenly, till the last kind act which death can do is to let the earthly strain melt into the heavenly chorus, the temporal joy into the eternal bliss! Let us have confidence, then, in the blessed Spirit’s power to comfort us.

Dear reader, are you looking forward to poverty? Fear not; the divine Spirit can give you, in your want, a greater plenty than the rich have in their abundance. You know not what joys may be stored up for you in the cottage around which grace will plant the roses of content.

Are you conscious of a growing failure of your bodily powers? Do you expect to suffer long nights of languishing and days of pain? O be not sad! That bed may become a throne to you. You little know how every pang that shoots through your body may be a refining fire to consume your dross-a beam of glory to light up the secret parts of your soul.

Are the eyes growing dim? Jesus will be your light. Do the ears fail you? Jesus’ name will be your soul’s best music, and his person your dear delight.

Socrates used to say, “Philosophers can be happy without music;” and Christians can be happier than philosophers when all outward causes of rejoicing are withdrawn. In thee, my God, my heart shall triumph, come what may of ills without! By thy power, O blessed Spirit, my heart shall be exceeding glad, though all things should fail me here below.
Thank God that He is with us and we can have the assurance of His love and presence with us no matter what we have to go through in this life.

Thank God I am feeling better. Thank you for your prayers and encouragements. I will continue to pray and wait upon our Lord.

If you missed this video yesterday, do try it today :-). This Psalm 23 recited by a cute little girl is posted by brimo on Youtube. I like the way this cute little girl kept wondering whether it's the verse "Surely goodness and mercies...." that she should be reciting.

It brings smile to me once more as I remember afresh that "Surely goodness and mercies shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever!" Psalm 23:6. Amen.