Monday, September 8, 2008

Finding meaning in a life with mood disorder


My friend, Peggy, has just started "Mission 4 Monday".

The purpose of MISSION 4 MONDAY is to share YOUR MISSION each week.


I am thankful to God that I can continue to serve Him through this blog.

One of the missions of my blog is to share with others God's goodness and mercies to me in managing clinical depression and bipolar disorder, as well as resources that will benefit a person with a mood disorder and information for their family and loved ones.

Last week, I shared an article "Trust during rough times" which is an excerpt taken from a new book "A Firm Place to Stand" written by my friend and fellow blogger, Marja Bergen. Marja is also the author of "Riding the Roller Coaster: Living with Mood Disorders".

Today, I like to share another very encouraging article written by Marja for CanadianChristianity.com entitled "Finding meaning in a life with bipolar disorder". It is a personal testimonies of how God has enabled Marja to find meaning in a life with bipolar disorder. This article is reproduced here with Marja's kind permission.

Bipolar Disorder or previously known as manic-depressive illness is a mood disorder with extreme mood swings ie. manic/hypomanic and depression. It is a medical condition that can be treated.

It is possible for people with mood disorders such as bipolar disorder, clinical depression and other mood disorders to live a close to normal life with medical helps and other helps. Support from family and friends are crucial to their recovery and well-being too.

I am thankful to God that with medical and other helps, I am able to live a more functional and productive life.

It is my prayers that resources and testimonies shared on this blog will continue to benefit people with mood disorders and their family/friends who love them.

Finding meaning in a life with bipolar disorder
by Marja Bergen

Mental illness is not all bad. I have lived with bipolar disorder for over forty years and have found it has many benefits. I couldn’t imagine living without it and am not at all unhappy with my life. In many ways, I value what this illness has made possible for me.

With effective medication to keep symptoms under control, people with bipolar disorder can live a close-to-normal life. Yes, moods will fluctuate and cause occasional problems, and treatment will need adjustment. Suffering will always be part of my life. But I accept the way God, the Great Potter, made me. I am rich on many levels.

Like many people with this disorder, I am very creative. I receive a lot of pleasure from photography and using my imagination. The deep emotions I experience, although painful, are a source of richness; I feel completely human. My frequent hard times have helped me appreciate the good times and I make the most of them. Spiritually, I’m stronger for having had to deal with great trials. The fires I’ve passed through have refined me.

Most of all, I appreciate the compassion I am able to have for others who suffer from depression and other mental health issues. Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 1: 4 hold true for me. I praise God “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received.” God has shown me his love, and I want to pass that love on to others.

Over the past few years, I’ve been fortunate to be part of a church community that has supported me and helped me grow spiritually. With the Christ-like love they have shown me, I have come to understand how great God’s love is. In turn, I now help others through a support group and one-on-one, in person and through my blog. I feel fulfilled. The language of suffering I’ve learned helps me connect with people in trouble. I am able to understand them in a way many others could not.

I feel a bit like Patch Adams in the Robyn Williams film. While Patch is a patient in a psychiatric hospital, he discovers his ability to connect with people. He learns to understand his severely disturbed roommate to see the person behind the illness and helps him through his problems. Not only does this delight Patch, it makes him a well man.

Patch eagerly tells his doctor he is well and needs to leave the hospital. I connected to another human being, he said. I want to do more of that. I want to learn about people. I want to help them with their troubles. I want to really listen to people. Connecting with other people gave Patch joy. It gives me joy, too. When God places you in this role a role he made for you joy happens. Walking with people through some of their toughest times is rewarding and a privilege.

Bipolar disorder will always be with me, and I suffer many high and low moods. But, I don’t feel I’m a victim of the disease. God has helped me find a way to make my illness work for me instead of against me.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11) God has a plan for each of us. Though we might have a severe illness such as bipolar disorder, God has work for us to do. Eventually, we can use what God has given us even the bad and turn it into something good.

Marja Bergen is the author of Riding the Roller Coaster: Living with Mood Disorders (Northstone, 1999) and a new book for Christians about living successfully with bipolar disorder (to appear). She is the founder of Living Room, a faith-based Mood Disorders Association of BC support group. Her blog, marjabergen.blogspot.com, deals with mental health and faith issues. She can be reached at info@candidsbymarja.com.

This article is published on the website of CanadianChristianity.com and reproduced here with the kind permission of Marja.

Here are some information about these 2 very useful books written by Marja:
Books by Marja Bergen:

1) Riding the Roller Coaster: Living with Mood Disorders


Mood disorders, such as depression and manic depression, affect up to 10% of the population. Marja Bergen is one of those people. Over the 30 years that she has had manic depression, she has gradually adopted a lifestyle that makes it possible not only to cope, but to live a full and productive life. In Riding the Roller Coaster, she shares very practical tips on such things as escaping the blues before they grab you, what to do when you don't feel like doing anything, and keeping life stable.



Reviews in the Media


Mood Disorders Association of BC

Robert Winram, Executive Director
This excellent first person account is filled with encouragement for those managing mood disorders. It delivers understanding, insight and very tangible strategies on how to overcome the difficulties of depression and manic depression. Marja Bergen gives us a very human perspective drawn from her experiences. Her path to recovery is exciting and positive.

Burnaby NOW
Annie Boulanger
The publication of her book is very timely as there are indications that mood disorders are a growing problem in the workplace.

Personal vignettes and real-life examples abound in Bergen's book, including frank descriptions of her own history, from her first treatments in Riverview, to problems adjusting medications in later years.

The book is easy to read, and while Bergen's style is warm and encouraging, it is also clearly written from her own experience.

The book is not only helpful to sufferers of mood disorder related illnesses, but also to their families to understand what it is that their family member is undergoing.

2) A Firm Place to Stand : Finding meaning in a life with Bipolar Disorder


"A Firm Place to Stand is a must-read for Christians who struggle with mental health challenges and the faith communities who minister to them.

For too long, society has misunderstood and feared individuals who live with mood disorders. This book dispels the lingering stigma attached to mental health conditions and encourages people to lovingly welcome the sufferers into congregations by understanding them better and supporting them in practical ways.

Most importantly, for the sufferers themselves, A Firm Place to Stand shows that it is possible to have a mental disorder yet be close to God and derive strong support from a growing relationship with Christ.

In her sincere and candid style, Marja Bergen reflects on her forty-two years with bipolar disorder, showing how faith in God can help a person with a serious illness turn weakness into strength. She describes how God transformed her from an insecure, withdrawn person into a leader, an activist, and the founder of Living Room, the growing Christian support group for people with mood disorders."

If you are keen to buy these 2 books by Marja, do check out Marja's new website.

Do visit Marja's blog, if you can, and get to know her. You will be greatly encouraged by her.

Hope the above article and resources are helpful to you or your loved ones/friends with mood disorders.

May God continue to enable us to know His love and mercies through all the changing scenes in life. May God enable us to love, pray and support our loved ones/friends with mental illness or mood disorders, and reflect Christ's love and compassion for His suffering people.

Thanks again for stopping by! Thanks for all your prayers and encouragements!

Take care and God bless :)

For more Mission 4 Monday posts, visit Peggy.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Trusting in God's arms and Praising Him in the Storm (Fearfully Fabulous Friday & Then Sing My Soul Saturday)

Dear Friends,

Thanks for stopping by. This is my first time participating in Fearfully Fabulous Friday and Then Sing My Souls Saturday.


My friend, Jill, has kindly invited me to join her new Fearfully Fabulous Friday!

For Fearfully Fabulous Friday we can write or share pictures about the way we love the Lord, along with bible verses that help us draw closer to Him. Examples of how we are fearfully and fabulously made are GREAT! We can write about the miracle of birth, adoption and life! We can write about Creation! We can share photos of birth, adoption, and His creation!

I am thankful to God for giving us His Words and many encouraging writings of His beloved people.

I am thankful to God that He loves us and is in control of everything in our life. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. He is our Creator and He cares for us. In this life we shall have our share of ups and downs, happiness and sorrows, wellness and sickness. Our greatest assurance is God loves us and He is with us through them. He is lovingly working all things for His glory, our good and the good of His people.

Recently, I read a very encouraging devotional by CH Spurgeon and like to share with you too. Hope you will also find encouragement in it.

"On mine arm shall they trust." Isaiah 51:5

In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God.

Happy storm that wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone!

There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father's arms, and is blessedly clasped therein!

When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time.

Oh, tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father! Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full confidence in him. Dishonor not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms.

Now is the time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous, and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month.

(Taken from Morning and Evening, CH Spurgeon, Morning, 31 August)
How true it is that in times of severe trial we have nothing on earth that we can trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast ourselves on God alone. It is then that we are drawn nearer to God and to know His love and faithfulness in very real and personal ways.

O blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone!

For this reason, we can thank God for the trials, afflictions and difficulties we face in this world. All of these are working together for our good and God's glory.

Therefore we can rejoice in the Lord always because He loves us and He is in control of all things. May God deepens our love and devotion to Him, and make us useful in His Kingdom.

And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to His purpose
... in all these things we are more than conquerors
through Him that loved us.
(Romans 8:28, 37)




My friend, Peggy, encouraged me to share this song and participate in Then Sing My Souls Saturday as it really suits the encouragement from God's Words above. Thanks, Peggy, for telling me about this song!

Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth


May God enable us to cling unto Him in difficult times and Praise Him in the Storms because He loves us and will see us safely through.

May you continue to know God's love and care in very special ways today and everyday!

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed weekends!

For more participants of Fearfully Fabulous Friday, do Jill.

For more participants of Then Sing My Souls Saturday, do visit Amy.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Thankful Thursday : Trust His Heart












And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to His purpose
... in all these things we are more than conquerors
through Him that loved us.
(Romans 8:28, 37)

Dear Friends,

Thanks for stopping by! Thanks for your prayers and encouragements.

♥ Today I am thankful to God as I reflect once again on His love and sovereignty throughout my life. I am thankful to God for His love for me and the way He has sustained and led me through the years ever since I know Him about 18 years ago.

♥ There have been many great challenges in my life in terms of my health, family, church, work, relationships. I am thankful to God for the assurance that He loves me and He is working all things for His glory and my good (Romans 8:28). Though I may not always understand why He allows certain things in my life, I can always trust in His love and sovereignty.

♥ Over the last 2 days I have been sharing about Emily and requested for prayers for her and family. Thanks for praying for Emily and her family.

I just read the latest update on Praying For Emily as at Wednesday 3rd Sept. There is an URGENT prayer request for Emily. Please join me in prayers, if you can. Earlier in the morning, Emily's sodium level was dropping and the doctors said this is critical. Please pray that the sodium level goes up, goes to normal level, and stabilize.

Thank God that by late morning at 11.54am 3rd Sept, Emily's sodium level went up a little bit. Please continue to pray that it consistently go up to the normal level and stabilize. The doctors (or nurses) now describe her condition as "holding" or "maintaining". That is good. Pray that the holding will move to improving and complete recovery. Thank you for praying with me for Emily and her family. Thank God for His goodness and mercies to them and all that love them.

Latest Updates:
Thank God for this latest update by Liza at 6:21pm 3rd September 2008:
1) Latest CT scan shows very slight reduction in swelling. That's good.
2) Sodium level is slowly going up. That's good.
Thank you for continuing to pray for complete healing and recovery.

♥ I am thankful to God that while visiting Praying For Emily, I saw this very encouraging video for the song "Trust His heart" which Liza posted on the website. This is the first time I heard the song and I was greatly uplifted. It ministered to me as I battle with a persistent chronic illness that threatens my life at times. During time of illness and struggles sometimes I question why I have to go through them. The longing to be with the Lord where there is no more suffering is so great. But after each of my recovery from my illness, I realized afresh that God has His purposes in my sufferings. He draws me closer to Him to know His love and mercies. He sanctifies me as He purges away the dross in my life so that I can grow in Him. I saw His mercies in using my suffering to give me a more compassionate heart and to feel for others who are suffering in one way or another. I became a partaker of their sufferings and it enables me to love them and pray for them, that being the least I can do.

I am thankful to God that through my sufferings with my illness, He led me to start this blog to share with other sufferers and their loved ones the goodness of God and the resources made available for our help and recovery. Thank God that providentially through this blog He has led me to know so many of you at Word-Filled Wednesday(WFW), Thankful Thursday (TT) and now the new Mission 4 Monday which Peggy just started on Monday. I am greatly blessed by God's goodness to you as you shared them with me. My life has never been more rich and blessed than this very moment! All praise and glory be to God! Thanks for sharing your friendship with me. Your prayers and encouragements are tokens of God's love for me and I greatly value it.

♥ I am thankful to God once again for providing precious people in my life ie. my family, church, friends and blogging friends who love and care for me in their very wonderful ways.

May this video encourages your heart too in remembrance of God's love and sovereignty. In the afflictions and trials of your life, may you cling unto His love and mercies, even if you can't understand many things. God is too good to be unkind, too wise to be mistaken, when we cannot trace His hand, we can always trust His heart.
Trust His Heart
Written by: Babbie Mason and Eddie Carswell

All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could
struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blinds us to the truth

Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim, and you just can't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hands
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him

We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand trust His heart


This video of "Trust His Heart" is posted on Youtube:


May you know God's love and care in very special ways today and everyday!

How about you? How has the Lord blessed you through the past week?

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed and thankful day!

For more participants of Thankful Thursday, do visit Iris at Sting My Heart. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!




(I took this photo at Hort Park, Singapore)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Word-Filled Wednesday : Call unto me and I will answer thee









"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. Jeremiah 33:3"

Thank God for giving us the privilege of prayers that we can come to Him and cast all our cares and anxieties upon Him knowing that He loves us and cares for us.

Thank God that He hears and answers our prayers according to His wills that is best for us. He often works in very wonderful ways, far beyond our expectations!

Thanks for your prayers for me, dear friends. Thank God for continuing to strengthen me daily.

I don't usually post long for WFW but today I would like to take this opportunity to requests your prayers for the following. Do join me in prayers, if you can.

1) Yesterday I shared about Emily and requested for prayers for her and family. Thanks for praying for Emily and her family.

For those of you who are not aware, my friend, Peggy, has just started a new meme on Monday called "Mission 4 Monday". The purpose of MISSION 4 MONDAY is to share YOUR MISSION each week. I am so thankful that I can participate in Mission 4 Monday. I posted my first Mission 4 Monday yesterday entitled "Trust during rough times".

While visiting Mission 4 Monday blogs, I came across Liza's Eyeview. Liza shared about her friend Emily who was hit by car last Wednesday afternoon. She was in a crosswalk, almost on the sidewalk, when a car suddenly struck her causing her to "fly" 40 to 45 feet unconscious and land on a curb!Emily suffered multiple fractures. When she first arrived at the emergency room, the initial prognosis was dim. Her case was called "severe".

Liza has kindly developed a new blog for Emily called Praying For Emily. Thank God that a surgery done on Saturday went well. Thank God that on Monday 1st Sept, the ventilator was successfully taken off so Emily is breathing on her own. Emily is off sedation although she is not fully conscious yet. She is being given morphine to help ease pain. Doctors are intending to remove her feeding tube. They would like to try feeding her and let her swallow on her own.

I just read the latest update as at Tuesday 2nd Sept. Thank God that Emily has regained consciousness and even spoke a few words! Praise God! Emily's mum, Linda, has written a very touching and beautiful testimony of God's goodness and mercies to them over the last one week since Emily's accident. Do read about it at Praying For Emily if you have time. You will be greatly encouraged.

I would like to request that we continue to keep Emily and her family in prayers during this trying time. May our gracious Lord Jesus Christ preserve and restore Emily according to His mercies and grace. May He grant the Doctors and other medical professionals much wisdom to treat Emily. May our good Lord also comfort and strengthen Emily's family and friends as they commit her to Him and look to Him together for Emily's preservation and restoration. May we unite our hearts in prayers and bring this family before our Heavenly Father's throne of grace as often as we can.

Do visit Praying For Emily for latest update and send your encouragements to this family, if you can. They need as much support as possible in this crucial time. May God continue to shower His love, mercies and comfort upon Emily, her family and friends.

2) Continue to pray for US and other places that are affected by typhoon and other natural disasters. Continue to pray also for Thailand and other places where there are riots, strike and other unrest. Pray that God will protect and preserve His children from harm and danger, and many unbelievers will turn to God in this time of crisis and find hope and salvation in God. Also pray that there will be peace upon the people and their countries, and all their needs being met in many wonderful ways.

Thank God for the privilege that we can pray for one another through all the changing scenes in life, knowing that God loves us and He will work His best for us. With God all things are possible. He is able to heal and restore us and provide for our every need. He may deliver us from danger or give us sufficient grace to sustain us in the afflictions and trials in life. May His will be done as we are fully assured that His will is always the best. May God's name be greatly magnified in the salvation of sinners and preservation of His people.

Thank you for praying with me!


May you continue to know God's everlasting love and goodness in many wonderful ways daily :)

For more Word-Filled Wednesday participants, do
visit Amy at The 160 Acre Woods. It will be a very blessed and encouraging experience for you.

Thank you for stopping by. Thanks for your prayers and encouragements. Hope you have a blessed day!

(I took this picture near my home one one of my brisk walk session.)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Spectrum of various Experiences, Treatment and Coping Means helpful for Bipolar Disorder (manic-depressive illness)

In my first Mission 4 Monday post yesterday, I republished an excerpt "Trust during rough times" from my friend, Marja's book "A Firm Place to Stand."

I am thankful to my friends who took time to stop by, read my post and share your thoughts. One of my readers, Rob, wrote a comment which I would like to share in this post. Rob has bipolar disorder. Thankfully his condition is stable and he is able to go off medication now.

Bipolar Disorder or previously known as manic-depressive illness is a mood disorder with extreme mood swings ie. manic/hypomanic and depression.

Rob wrote on 2nd September 2008,

Hi Nancie,

Let me share a very weird, but also very interesting and I hope illuminating experience I had recently. In a way, although I am not a believer (nor a 100% complete disbeliever), this anecdote will, I hope, be interesting to you and your regular readers, and will be supportive of your theme today.

It has now been almost 2 years since I began reducing lithium, and more than a year and a half since I stopped it completely. I'm proud that I am totally drug-free for the first time in my adult life, but I am also very aware that my good fortune could end at any time. Anyway, I had a physical exam (after more than 2 years), and then a week or so later, I had a visit to my psychiatrist, for the very first time since stopping all drugs. I really like my psychiatrist, and I do not fault him on any decision he (and I) made over the years. I went there hoping to perhaps thank him for his efforts, and to show him that I'd had a clean physical checkup and was feeling "great" (no, not *that* great :-)). My family doctor sent my report to my psychiatrist. I like the fact that they work closely together, and they share information about me. All the minor complaints I'd had seemed to have pretty much disappeared, though there is much more than just a lack of lithium to credit for that.
My family doctor is cynical about psychiatry, and has always wondered why I was clinging to lithium, in spite of all my minor physical complaints, that seemed to just be getting worse as I aged.

Anyway, I entered my psychiatrist's interview room (after waiting one hour). I felt a bit sorry for him because he is now aged 72, and has not retired yet. I wanted to say something to the effect of "thanks for your efforts over the years". He first apologized for making me wait, and I said "oh it's nothing" or something like that. Then, to my total surprise, he acted like no other time in my entire 30 year history with him. Rather than having our usual calm, peaceful, friendly discussion, with him saying not too much, but encouraging me to speak my mind, it was the TOTAL OPPOSITE! I didn't know what to make of it. He was acting extremely hypomanic, while I was trying to stick to my agenda, of asking a few practical tips regarding sleeping, new drugs I might possibly take, etc. in the future etc. He wouldn't shut up. Even when he opened the door of the office to show me out (after 15 minutes), he kept talking and talking, even with other people listening! He made no mention of lithium, and no mention of when I might see him again. I finally managed to squeeze in "I guess I might pop in to see you again in a year or so", to which he didn't answer. He kept on talking about trivial stuff like tennis hurting knee joints or some such nonsense. He was also suggesting that "Oh, I guess you know everything now, and don't need your family doctor or me", to which I replied, "no, not at all". My wife was in the waiting room, and I said he could talk to her if he wanted, but he said he wasn't interested. Finally my wife and I left, both of us scratching our heads...

I later thought, Oh, I get it. He was just doing his job as my doctor. He's not really my friend. He was pulling out all the stops to try to destabilize me and "prove" that I was actually manic, and he was obviously failing to do so, so the end result was to make me somewhat more confident. Good. I feel better... But, I don't completely accept that theory either. A more cynical theory would say:
1. He is worried about a malpractice lawsuit
2. He is going to lose income without me
3. He is embarassed that he finally "lost" the argument with my family doctor
4. He worries that he might retire "in shame" at having kept someone on drugs needlessly, for almost their entire adult life
5. Just before seeing me, I think he took someone else who seemed to be in bad condition, and perhaps that rattled his nerves (I think he may have actually bumped me, in favor of that other person, who my wife later told me, looked quite sick.
6. I partly went to him because I tried to get a prescription for Stelazine filled (as a safety precaution) and it got held up at the pharmacy, because he happened to be on vacation. I then checked if my family doctor could fix that for me. I also then took some Stelazine, with my wife's knowledge, because I'd had some poor sleep recently, and I wanted to verify if I could count on Stelazine to fix that (minor) sleeping issue that had dragged on for a few days, for various reasons
7. Who knows what? Your guess is as good as mine. It just doesn't completely make sense. I still like the guy, but I wanted to share this with other sufferers of mental disorders.

By the way, I'm beginning to seriously believe that peaceful meditation actually works better for me than Stelazine, and has *zero side-effects!*

This is something you might want to consider (briefly), when you decide where to put your "faith".

Thanks for listening -- a slightly puzzled, but still doing OK Rob

I am thankful to Rob for writing in to share his experiences and thoughts with me and my readers. I am thankful that Rob makes time to come by every now and then, and I greatly value his friendship.

As I do have my own personal experiences and opinions pertaining to what Rob has shared, I have decided to write a separate post in answer to Rob. So here's my response to Rob:

Hi Rob,

Thank you for your 2 comments! I delayed in publishing your first comment because I needed time to digest what you wrote and also to think of an appropriate response :-) Thanks for writing again. I have decided to publish your first comment here as a separate post so that I can response and share my personal experiences and opinions too.

Your recent experience with your psychiatrist is truly rather weird :-) I am thankful that you are able to be medicine free and I hope you continue to stay stable!

In my personal opinion, I think there is actually a rather wide spectrum of experiences for those who suffer from bipolar disorder and therefore a wide spectrum of wellness or coping means that suits different individuals.

In my own personal experiences, I have found that Finding a Good Doctor/Psychiatrist is very crucial for me. I am thankful that God has provided a very good and helpful psychiatrist for me. I am newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder last March and still very new on the journey of understanding and managing bipolar disorder. My Doctor's help has been invaluable in my recovery journey!

I have come across several very different experiences among my fellow bloggers.

I know of people who are being helped my medication just like myself. Our mood-stabilisers helped to stabilise our moods in longer run. Some of us are on anti-psychotic medications which helps to manage our manic/hypomanic and sometimes we need anti-depressants to lift us up to a functional level when we have a relapse of depression. So medication does help some of us to be more functional. It would be wonderful to be so stable and functional one day that some of us can be off medication eventually! But that is a case by case basis.

Some of us may have to be on life-long maintenance medication for the sake of stabilising our mood. Medication however is only a part of our treatment and recovery plan. Medicine helps to lift us up to a functional level when we are depressed or helps to calm us down to a functional level when we are too manic, but we also needs to live a balance lifestyle that will contribute to our mental stability and physical as well as spiritual well-being. We need to know what may trigger off relapses, how to recognize early symptoms and what we can do to get better or prevent our conditions from deteriorating. Depending on our makeup and our bipolar condition, what works for us may differ one from another.

I have also known of others who are medicine resistant and who suffer more side effects than benefits from their medications. These have suffered much throughout the years due to unsuitable medications. Some have found help now through alternative medicine or therapy. There are some who have learned to manage their condition so well that they do not need medication at all. Perhaps their condition are also milder than some others. I also have some friends who benefited from ECT treatments when nothing else is helpful and their sufferings were relentless. Thank God for providing something that helps these friends. But again ECT may not be suitable for everyone. I think it is a case by case basis. It may take time to find out our own conditions and what is best to help us maintain stability and enable us to be functional and of maximum benefit to our family and society.

I have shared about some of My Coping Strategies in my previous posts. Personally, I benefitted from Medical Help and Medications. Anti-depressant medication helps to lift me up to a functional level when I am depressed and anti-psychotic medication helps to calm me down to a functional level when I am too manic/hypomanic.

I am learning to use Mood Diary to track my moods and learn to recognize early symptoms of possible relapses or impending relapses or worsening symptoms. I work closely with my psychiatrist on how best to troubleshoot and manage my condition. I hope to share more about this in future post.

I have found that getting enough sleep and sleeping at regular hours is very crucial. Insufficient sleep can cause my relapses or may be symptoms that I am going through relapses.

For some months last year I benefited from several counseling sessions with a lady Christian counselor who uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) to help me identify and correct some faulty thinking patterns. I do have some faulty thinking patterns that can either trigger off my relapses or worsened my condition. In particular I learn to understand some of the myths and facts on mental illness so that I have a more realistic view of my condition. Learning to coping with false guilt during depression is also very crucial to me as there is still such a terrible stigma associated with mental illness even among Christians.

I also found reducing stress and learning to manage stress to be very crucial in my own management of my condition. From past experiences, I am discovering that mismanagement of stress or excessive stress will trigger off my relapses. So I am now prayerfully learning to recognize signs that I am getting stressed up or overly stress, and how best to reduce it to a level I can manage. I learn to pray and commit things to God, and seek His wisdom to manage the various challenges in my life. I also learn to share with my family and friends when I am troubled, stressed or perplexed. In the multitude of counselors there is safety (proverbs)! I find brain-storming and discussing with family and friends helped me to see things from a better perspective and learn to manage the various challenges in my life better.

I am also aware that one of the great source of stress I often experience actually comes from myself! I am some kind of a perfectionist. So in some ways my expectation of myself and others can at times be rather high and unrealistic. The problem is I am not always conscious of this. But this can cause much stress and harm to me in my own life as well as my relationships with others or my works. So I am learning now to be more aware of my unrealistic expectations of myself, of others or of the world in general. I am learning to be kinder to myself :-) and to others :-)

In other words, I am learning to me more aware of my limitations! The problem with bipolar disorder is that whenever I am well, I am a little hypomanic. So I have more energy, more creativity and tend to want to do more things. I tend to take on more projects that I can manage without realizing it. I also tend to want to help as many people as possible without realizing that I am over-stretching myself and trying to do too much! That is why I often suffer burn-out and then clinical depression. The tricky thing for me now is to learn how to estimate how much I can do or I should do. There seemed to be 101 things that I think I should do or I can do! But in reality this is not the case :-) So I am still learning now to pace myself more moderately and prayerfully.

Personally I do not practice meditation. I have a friend whose sister is bipolar and found it put her in a dissociative state whenever she practiced meditation.

For me meditating on God's Words help me. My quiet times in the mornings and evenings are most precious to me. I am learning to pray and commit each day unto God. I spend the time in prayer, reading of the Bible, singing of Psalms and journalling. I find that writing down my thoughts and experiences help me to see things from a more realistic perspective. Prayers help me to unburden and cast my cares on God. As I pray and commit all things to God, I find peace in knowing that He will guide me in the paths He wants me to go. Though God may not always answer my prayers according to my desires, I am learning to submit to His will which is always the best, because He is sovereign, mighty and all-knowing, and He loves me. I find much comfort, direction and encouragements from God's Words daily. I learn to wait upon God to speak to me through His Words and providence, and He is faithful to answer my prayers daily. Filling my mind with the Word of God and meditating on these precious Truths gives me peace, comforts and directions. God's Words strengthens me and help me to cope with various challenges in my life in association with bipolar as well as other aspects of my life. For me this works very well. And this quiet time becomes a very important recovery tool as well as in my management of my condition.

I found that one good way of reducing stress is to be more organized. I have the tendency to want to do too many things at one time. Now I find that if I list down the things I need to do and plan on how to break them down into manageable tasks, I can cut down on stress and get more things done. So now I use a Diary to plan my days.

I have also found exercise to be very crucial to me in my recovery process. I read that the good chemicals that are released during exercise helps with depression. Personally, I enjoy Brisk Walking and have found that it helps to strengthen my body and mind. I feel very refreshed after my exercise and my mood is lifted up. But I understand that not everyone is able to participate in exercise. We need to assess our health and our medical conditions. It is good to consult a physician first if we are unsure. This is to prevent unnecessary injuries and harm due to inappropriate exercises.

I am learning that relaxation and recreations are important to me in my management of bipolar disorder. I also have several therapeutic hobbies which I enjoy very much and helped me to relax. I derive much joy and satisfaction in Photography, Making Bookmarks, making homemade Calendar and Blogging.

I am learning to eat more healthy meals and I also benefit from Omega 3 Fish Oil Supplements.

I realize through this illness, the importance of having the support and prayers of my family and friends, besides professional helps from Doctors, Counsellors and Support Group. The people I love, and who love me, will see me at my best. When my symptoms reappear, they may see me at my worst.

Whenever possible, I will share with them my illness. I give them articles, pamphlets and books to read about bipolar disorder so that they will understand that my behaviour is not always under my control. It will also help them to understand why I am sometimes so different.

For me, I have found blogging to be therapeutic to me and is an important tools in my recovery. It has been a joy and privilege for me to be acquainted with many blogging friends who are suffering from depression, bipolar and other physical or mental conditions. To be able to share and support one another as we seek to learn to understand and manage our conditions has a great impact upon my life. I felt I have grown much over the last half year of blogging through my acquaintance with such dear friends and learning from various people's experiences. I am learning to understand my condition better and to manage it better. Ever since I joined Word-Filled Wednesday(WFW) and Thankful Thursday (TT), God has helped me to grow spiritually. I am greatly blessed by the many encouraging posts many friends shared on WFW and TT. And now that I newly joined Mission 4 Monday I am also greatly blessed and encouraged. I am so thankful that I can get to know you and so many others through blogging! But I am learning to pace myself moderately as I tend to get carried away with blogging as I enjoyed it so much and I can over strain myself unknowingly :-)

I am thankful to God that in this generation there are many resources and helps available to cope with depression, bipolar and other health conditions. I am still learning and discovering what is helpful for myself and how best to manage my condition. I am thankful to God that I can share helpful resources with my readers on this blog as I journey on.

As there is a wide spectrum to the experiences as well as treatment of bipolar disorder, I do not recommend my own coping strategies as the best for everyone. I think it is a case by case basis. I believe many of my coping strategies are those being used by many people and it is helping them. But others might not find them useful. I think we each need to take time to understand our condition and what is most helpful to keep us stable and functional. Most of us will need our physician's help or therapies or counselors help in understanding and managing our conditions.

For me personally, ultimately my faith is not in myself, anyone or anything, but in God and my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Who can restore me using various means or without means. I have survived some 10 or more severe clinical depressive episodes over the last 20 years without medication because I didn't know that it is a medical condition. I realized that without medication I can still recover from clinical depression but with medication my sufferings have been lessened as well as shortened. Without medications, I used to endure at least 3 to 6 months of clinical depression or sometimes longer. Those were very difficult, painful and confusing time. Thank God for preserving and restoring me in those years. Now I am thankful that I am more functional and able to live a more productive life with medical and various other helps. Knowing that my depression is clinical and not due to weakness of my character or lack of faith in God, helps me to banish false guilt and seek medical and other helps. As my depression episodes have become more and more frequent and more and more severe in these recent years with terrible temptation of death, I appreciate the way medication and other helps are helping me. I know there are side-effects with any medication but I have prayed and weighed the matter. It is better for me at this point of time to bear whatever side-effects of medication so that I can be more functional rather than to risk dying from suicide during severe depression relapses. And besides medication, I prayerfully use as many of my other Coping Strategies as possible so that my medication is kept as minimum as necessary.

Thanks again for writing, Rob. I hope your condition continue to remain stable and you can continue to find wellness activities that helps you! You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and keep in touch.

With appreciation,
Nancie

And thanks, friends and visitors, for stopping by. Do share your thoughts and opinions with me by leaving a comment, if you can. I will greatly appreciate it!

Take care and have a blessed day!