Charts/helps for managing Bipolar Disorder

Here are some charts/helps I found on the internet to help manage bipolar disorder or depression:

1. Mood Diary (download mooddiary.pdf)

2.

A day at Sentosa with my mother

Thank God that I was able to spend a wonderful day with my mother. My mother loves plants and flowers. She suggested that we go to the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore. The Flower exhibition is from 7 to 17 Feb, and it is part of the Chinese New Year celebration of our nation.

Here are some lovely flowers :

























































The Singapore orchid :-)

To see more pictures, visit my Around Singapore blog :-)

Another thankful day!

Thank God for seeing my through my first one week back at work!

This morning I felt very tired on my way to work as it is my first week at work and I am still adjusting to the timings and travellings. I need to travel 1.5 hours to work and 1.5 hours back, work for 6 hours and lunch break is 1 hour. So in total I was out of the house for 10 hours daily over the last few days.

I am thankful to God for His mercies and faithfulness. Today is also a quiet day for 2 of my colleagues and me. We split the work among the 3 of us. Somehow, by the mercies of God, I was asked to do the easier assignment which another colleagues who is not around used to do so. So I was once again spared from mentally exhausting assignment and able to work through today doing less stressful or demanding mental work!

Today, there were lesser people in my office. My office is doing research work and the staff works on flexible hours. Sometimes they work from home, sometimes on the field and sometimes they attend meeting. Today, being Friday, is exceptionally quiet as most of the staff were not around. Besides being able to concentrate better on my work, I was also able to get to know my 2 other colleagues better as they were more chatty when the place is quieter.

It turned out that they both studied psychology and I was able to relate to them some of my experiences of working for 3 child psychologists who works with special needs children such as those with autism, dyslexia, speech delay, etc etc. They also talked a little about their own experiences in their studies and contact with patients with mental health conditions. I didn't reveal to them that I suffer from mood disorder but I was glad that they were very sympathetic and concerned for people with mental health conditions. I supposed that's why they study psychology :-) One of them hasn't decided what he wants to do, whether eventually to become a clinical psychologist or something else. He is also a part-timer for this project, just like me. The other colleague who studied psychology is a full-time staff in this department. I forgot to ask her why she is working here instead of a health-care environment.

I am glad to be able to get to know my colleagues and work well with them. They are very friendly and helpful. Though I am obviously much older than them, they didn't seem to mind the age gap or generation gap. So today was an enjoyable day for me though I was tired as I was able to enjoy some conversations with them, every now and then, throughout our work. As I am getting more used to the codings now, it is also less stressful. I am also learning to commit all things to God and to look to Him for wisdom, grace and strength to just do my best and not push myself too hard or set unrealistic expectations. Still learning :-)

How I look forward to some rest tomorrow! And yes, to spend more time with my mother. Oops, I think I neglected her recently after I started work. Tomorrow, I must spend more time with her and try to schedule time with her for next week too. My mother has been very supportive. Ever since I returned to work on Monday, she made it a point to make my breakfast every morning. She enjoys doing so :-) and I know she cares. Thank God for a caring mother. I must not neglect her.

I am learning to use a Diary to plan for each day and to mark out important appointments, as a way to handle stress. Thank God that this week, I managed to keep my various appointments and meet the deadlines of some volunteer work for my church too. Thank and praise God! Trust that He will continue to give me strength and grace to seek and serve Him next week too.

Thanks too for your visit to my blog to know my progress and for your prayers (if any). Hope you have a good weekend :-)

"Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: ...." Psalm 143:8, 10a

My grace is sufficient for you

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I carried this verse with me this morning when I went to work as I sense my own weaknesses and tiredness, and it brought much comfort and encouragement to me to see God's faithfulness in fulfilling it again today.

Today I was very tired as I could not sleep much last night. Yesterday was a very eventful and reflective day for me and long past my sleeping time, I still couldn't sleep. I did the Mandarin Bulletin for the elderly people in my church. As I couldn't sleep, I spent some time to reply some emails and work on my blog. It was almost midnight when I finally was able to sleep. I was up very early this morning and couldn't sleep again after that. So in total, I only managed to get 5 hours of sleep when I usually will have about 8 hours. As this is my fourth day at work, I was also beginning to feel the physical strain. But I am learning to commit each day to God and to cling unto His precious promises.

Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness! Today, 2 of my colleagues were away and so my another colleague and me had a very quiet day where we were able to concentrate and do more work. Usually when the rest are around, there would be a lot of discussion going around and I tend to be much distracted and have to read and read my assignments before I can understand and code it.

My colleague and I also split the work among the 2 of us. Which means instead of just focusing on my most difficult assignment, I was able to do another assignment which is less difficult. So in a way, my work was mentally less demanding today! And so I survive today, by the grace of God! Thank God.

As I am still learning to manage my condition, having to adapt to a new job, new environment, new schedule, etc etc is indeed a great challenge. There is always the uncertainty and the fear that something might happen to trigger my mood swings. I am still learning to be more aware, to recognize early symptoms of mania or depression, and how best to prevent a relapse or worsening symptoms. So I am very thankful to God for His faithfulness in sustaining me daily. I am learning to be more reflective and to recount God's goodness and mercies to me through this blog which is also my Journal. I hope I will always remember God's goodness and mercies to me, no matter what I may go through in future. I hope He will enable me to learn from past mistakes and to know how best I can live for His glory and be useful to the society.

Going through another day without much mood swing, and able to function properly, is such an accomplishment to me. To be able to work again and serve God, and contribute to the society, and to provide for myself and family, is such a joy to me. To many people who go to work daily or who have no problem with mood disorder, it may just be another day for them. But for me, it is another day, to be thankful for.

One more day tomorrow (Friday), and I look forward to some rest and break on Saturday, and to worship and fellowship on Sunday :-)

Give us this day our daily bread

Last evening, I shared about how the Lord taught me to look to Him for grace and strength to set my priority right at work and to honour Him. It helps to take away my fear of losing the part-time job and I was able to concentrate on doing my work more accurately. The Lord, in His mercies and faithfulness, blessed my work yesterday.

Thanks, Anne, for reminding me to pray and commit my work to the Lord before I start work. Anne said in her comment on my last post:

"As you know, I worked in health care for 30 years and before I would start work EVERYDAY, I would add to the end of my prayer, 'Please God don't let me hurt anyone.' Maybe adding something to your prayers before you start work will instill more confidence in yourself. I pray that God guides your hand in all tasks."

I am reminded of Isaiah 40:31

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

This morning God confirmed His instructions to me during my quiet time. I read Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, 14 Feb Morning:

"And his allowance was a continual allowance given him of the king, a daily rate for every day, all the days of his life. 2 Kings 25:30

Jehoiachin was not sent away from the king’s palace with a store to last him for months, but his provision was given him as a daily pension. Herein he well pictures the happy position of all the Lord’s people. A daily portion is all that a man really wants. We do not need tomorrow’s supplies; that day has not yet dawned, and its wants are as yet unborn. The thirst which we may suffer in the month of June does not need to be quenched in February, for we do not feel it yet; if we have enough for each day as the days arrive we shall never know want. Sufficient for the day is all that we can enjoy......Here is surely ground for thankfulness.

Beloved Christian reader, in matters of grace you need a daily supply. You have no store of strength. Day by day must you seek help from above. It is a very sweet assurance that a daily portion is provided for you. In the word, through the ministry, by meditation, in prayer, and waiting upon God you shall receive renewed strength. In Jesus all needful things are laid up for you. Then enjoy your continual allowance. Never go hungry while the daily bread of grace is on the table of mercy."

I hope that day by day I may learn to seek help from God for without Him, I can do nothing at all. Thank God that He provides for our daily portion! May I learn to ask and wait upon Him for my daily bread, physical and spiritual.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

Truly how God takes care of the sparrows! Surely, He will take care of me. What a comfort!

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Such an encouragement to remember that God's grace is sufficient for me. Though I am weak, He is strong. I need to remember to ask for grace daily.