Word-Filled Wednesday : My grace is sufficient for thee

For more Word-Filled Wednesday participants, do visit Amy at The 160 Acre Woods. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!



My brother took this lovely photo at Muriwai Beach, Western Auckland, New Zealand.

Thank God for His reminders through His Words and His providence daily that He cares for us. He has promised in His Words in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient for us. This is a tremendous encouragement to me in this pilgrim journey. Even as a Christian, I continue to face various and many challenges in life just like every one else. I go through time of wellness, sickness, success, failures, happiness, disappointments, life, death, etc etc etc too.

Being a Christian does not exempt me from the trials and difficulties in this life. Having bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness, can make life very difficult for myself and others. The greatest comfort for me in this personal trial, is that God loves me and is sovereignly in control of every situation in my life and His grace is sufficient for me. Even in allowing me to have bipolar disorder, His love and faithfulness remains unchanging. In fact, it is through my struggles with the 11 or so severe depression episodes over the last 20 years, that I am drawn closer to God to know Him and His love better. I have found His promises to be true and His grace sufficient as He promised It is God that sustained me through many painful and prolonged suffering from clinical depression. At times when I am confused by what I was going through and others could not understand either, the Lord has kept me in the palm of His hands. In His love alone, I found that enduring and unconditional love. It gives me the strength to face each day.

Thank God that He is with us always. He will continue to give us the grace to walk with Him and serve Him, even if we have to go through the valley of the shadow of death at times. And when our tasks here are accomplished, we have the blessed hope of being with Him forever to enjoy His love and fellowship for all eternity. What a blessed hope!

Meanwhile, let us press on joyfully in His strength daily. When we are weak, He is strong and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. Praise Him!


Hope this verse will encourage you today and everyday. May you continue to know God's grace that is sufficient for you through all the changing scenes in life and His love that is unchanging and everlasting. Have a blessed day!


I use this photo to make the following Bookmarks. If you wish to make the bookmark yourself, you can download the respective Free Bookmark Template.

1) 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for thee".

Download Free Bookmark Template: free-bookmarks-2cor12v9.doc

Check out Free instructions on how to make Bookmarks.

2) Friendship quote:

If you love something, set if free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours.
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.

Download Free Bookmark Template: free-bookmarks-muriwai-beach.doc

Check out Free instructions on how to make Bookmarks.

3) Chinese Bible verse for 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for thee”.

In Chinese this verse is read as 我的恩典够你用的 (Pinyin : wǒ de ēn diǎn gòu nǐ yòng de)

Download Free Chinese Bookmark Template :

free-chinese-bookmarks-2cor12v9.doc

or

free-chinese-bookmarks-2cor12v9.pdf

Check out Free instructions on how to make Bookmarks.

Check out more Free Bookmarks Templates at my Homemade Bookmarks Hobby Blog.

Have a blessed day!

More than conquerors

I have decided to change my blog name :-)

When I first started this blog in February 2008, I named it "My Life with Bipolar Disorder" because I wanted to share resources that have been helpful to me in coping with bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) with others who have bipolar disorder and their family/friends. Having bipolar disorder can be very confusing for the sufferer as well as their family and friends.

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder with extreme mood swings. It is a medical condition that can be treated. These moods shaped our thoughts, feelings and actions. We can be 2 very different persons when we are manic or depressed. There are pocket of times when we are "normal" :-)

Being depressed is bad enough in itself, but being a depressed Christian is worse because we experience extra guilt in relation to our faith. So if you are suffering from depression and you are a Christian, I will highly recommend that you read these very encouraging and helpful messages on Depression and the Christian. Pastor David P Murray noted that

The depressed believer cannot concentrate to read or pray. He doesn’t want to meet people and so may avoid church and fellowships. He often feels God has abandoned him.

Moreover, it is often the case that faith, instead of being a help, can actually cause extra problems in dealing with depression. There is, for instance, the false guilt associated with the false conclusion, “Real Christians don’t get depressed.” There is also the usually mistaken tendency to locate the cause of mental illness in our spiritual life, our relationship with God, which also increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness.

We need to have a right understanding of clinical depression or manic-depression. This is different from the common down or sad feelings that go away after a few day. Clinical depression and manic-depression are medical illness that need to be treated. And people who go through them need to be supported, prayed for and encouraged to seek treatment and wait upon God for restoration through medical and other helps.

As Christians, we surely want to be the person whom our loved ones turn to in time of need. And, when they do turn to us, we want to be able to help them and not hurt them further. It is, therefore, imperative that family and friends of people who suffers from clinical depression or bipolar depression learn about depression and other mental illnesses in order to avoid the very common mistakes that lay-people often make when dealing with the mentally ill, and in order to be of maximum benefit to those who are suffering. I hope the resources I am sharing on this blog will help Christian who suffers from depression to find hope and comfort in God, and to seek medical and other helps so that they too can lead a more stable and functional life. And I hope too that the sharing and resources on this blog will to some extend help family and friends of people with depression or bipolar to understand what their loved ones are going through and how best to pray for them, to encourage and support them, or help them in time of need.

Personally, I went through some 11 episodes of severe depression over the last 20 years, each episode lasting some 3 to 6 months or sometimes longer. Thank God for sustaining me through those very painful, dark and confusing experiences.

Thank God that my diagnosis last year of proneness to bipolar disorder is helping me to understand that my condition is a medical condition that can be treated and the necessity to seek helps. Through 9 very fruitful sessions with a Christian counsellor last year who counsels me using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), I was helped to understand my confusing past due to the way bipolar shaped my thoughts, feelings and actions.

Thank God that now with medical helps, regular exercise, Omega 3 fish oil, managing stress level, having therapeutic hobbies, a strong support network and other coping means my condition is under control now and I am able to live a more stable and useful life. I also read the Bible and pray daily for strength and grace from God to live for Him joyfully and serve Him despite my condition and limitations. I thank God for joy in Him daily as I experience His love and mercies in many wonderful ways.

I thank God that I am able to share my thoughts and feelings on this blog too and it works like an online Journal or Diary for me to record my daily experiences in my walk with God and His goodness to me as I seek to understand and manage bipolar disorder. Like every one else who has bipolar, I too experience many different struggles daily with manic and depression. Stress and strain seemed to be my main triggering factors over the years. So this blog also will record my struggles to manage bipolar, stress and other challenges in my life.

In these recent months of sharing my thoughts and feelings in my journey with bipolar disorder, I have come to experience more and more that we are more than conquerors through Christ that loved us. In life we will have our portions of ups and downs whether through bipolar disorder or other struggles in our life. We are living in a fallen world. As sinners saved by grace, we daily wrestle too with sins, remaining corruptions and the temptations of the world. Having bipolar disorder can make life very difficult at times because bipolar shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. The depression episodes are painful and awful beyonds words. I would not want to go through another extensive episode if possible. The manic episodes too have its pros and cons. But in all these, I am comforted that God is sovereign. He is graciously working all things for His glory and my good even through such painful and difficult struggles with bipolar.

I found that it is through the very difficult experiences I have gone through over the last 20 years with this disorder that I am able to know God very personally and able to know His love in many wonderful ways. And bipolar disorder do have its advantages and it's not all bad at all. By the mercies of God, I have been able to experience many blessings through bipolar and God also opened an unexpected door of usefulness for me through bipolar. My struggles with depression enable me to emphatise with others who are going through this painful and lonely struggle. It allows me to comfort others with same comfort which God has comforted me. It gives me the motivation to share with others the resources and the various ways and means God is helping me to manage my condition so that others can benefit from it too. It helps me to cherish the life God is giving me daily to know Him, love Him and serve Him and others.

Most people with bipolar tends to be able to express ourselves better in writing and other creative activities. In the recent months, I began to enjoy Photography, Making Bookmarks and other Homemade Crafts and Gifts. These hobbies are therapeutic to myself and they encourages others as I usually share these with others. I have a blog "Around Singapore" where I posted photos of some places in Singapore. Do click at the links if you wish to make use of my photographs and that which my friends allowed me to post on my blogs. Feel free to also download Free Bookmarks Templates from my Homemade Bookmarks blog and other crafts idea from my Homemade Crafts and Gifts blog.

When I saw the moving testimony of Nick Vujicic, I was reminded afresh that God is sovereign and His purposes are accomplished through weak vessels like us. Nick is from Australia and he was born with no arms or legs yet he is trusting in the Lord daily and living a life that is not only as normal as he can, but he is also doing many wonderful things too by the mercies and power of God. He is a living testimony of the power of God to save a lost sinner from sins and give him the grace to live a victorious life in Christ despite severe infirmities. Nick encouraged us to look beyond our loses through our disabilities to look at what we still have and make the most out of it. Seeing Nick going about his daily life, doing all the things which seems almost impossible without arms and legs, and yet he did it and did it with such cheerfulness, is a life changing experience. If you have not seen the videos of Nick, you may wish to watch these 2 videos I have posted on my blog and there are many more posted on YouTube. It will change your life or your perspective in life! I am thankful to my friend Michelle who posted Nick's video on her blog and shared such blessings with us. Thanks again, Michelle!

I am thankful to God that we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us because God's Words say so. Though we are weak, God is strong. He promised that His grace is sufficient for us and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). God is more powerful than any storms in our life or any difficulties we may face. He is the Potter, we are the clay. This is not our home. We are sojourners here on a pilgrim journey towards the celestial city. God is daily sanctifying us and making us more and more like our Lord Jesus Christ.

I thank God that His grace is sufficient for me and nothing shall ever separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Though I still have many struggles daily with bipolar, stress, etc etc, I am learning to look to God for grace daily and to wait upon Him for guidance and strength.

I hope I can continue to share of God's goodness and mercies to me daily in my endeavour to understand and manage bipolar and other challenges in my life and lead a more useful life for the Lord.

If you are going through depression now and you are reading this post, I pray that God will give you comfort and strength, knowing that He is with you and will deliver you. Do seek medical and other helps as these are means God has provided for us to get better so that we can seek and serve Him. Your thoughts and feelings may feel flat and down because of the chemical imbalances and you may have little energy to do anything or even to seek help. But continue to cry unto the Lord and reach out to someone to let them know you need help. There is hope and help. It takes time to find the medical and other helps that will suit you as there is a spectrum to bipolar and depression and different thing works for different people. But you are not alone! I and many others are battling this condition daily and you will find something that works for you. God will help you by and by to discover these helps as you cast your cares upon Him. With medical and other helps, sometimes it still takes time for these to work for us and to restore the chemical imbalance in our brain so that we are more functional and able to enjoy life again. Waiting is difficult. But you will get better by and by.

And thank you once again, all my dear friends, for all your prayers, encouragements and support. To get to know so many of you through this blog and your blogs, is one of the greatest blessings God has given me over the last few months! I have never expected this at all. My endeavour to help others through this blog turned out to be a greater blessing for me. All praise and glory be to God!

Hope we can continue to encourage one another and find our consolations in Christ and each other's friendship as we journey on :-)

Romans 8:36-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works

Thank God for another opportunity today to join in public worship and to fellowship with my church friends. This is a joy and privilege which I cherish very much.

This morning I heard a very encouraging message from Ephesians 2:

Ephesians 2:8-10
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

We were reminded that salvation is all of grace and not of our works. It is the Lord Jesus Christ Who saved us from our sins. It is His Works on the cross in laying down His life for us that saved us. We are not saved by our good works or even our faith. Our salvation is solely a gift of God. Faith is the medium that we received this grace of salvation. Although good works cannot save us, we are saved in order to do good works as an instrument of God. We are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Sometimes the care of this world and physical infirmities or mental struggles clouded me of my calling here. But this morning, I am reminded afresh through God's Words in Ephesians 2:8-10 that salvation is all of grace and not of works lest any man should boast. We cannot rely on good works to earn salvation as it is Christ alone that save us. But although good works cannot save us us, we are saved in Christ Jesus unto good works which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

We are saved to serve the Lord. May God enable me to present my body a living sacrifice unto God to live for Him and serve Him. Daily many things will demand my attention and energy, but may God help me to set my heart and affection on things above and to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness in all that I do.

Thank you once again for all your prayers and encouragements. Thank God for His mercies to me. I am learning daily to walk with our Lord, to find much joy and strength in Him despite whatever struggles I face or whatever physical or mental infirmities I have, and to serve God in little little ways. I look forward to the day when the Lord will call me home to my eternal rest where I can enjoy His love, worship and fellowship without the hindrance of sins, sicknesses, mental illness, etc etc. Until then I am comforted that His grace is sufficient for me and He will guide me along as I learn to look to Him. I pray for His grace to keep my eyes upon Him and not let the rough ways or storms to distract me.

Life will have many challenges and we will have our portion of ups and downs, joy and sorrows, success and failures, etc etc. May the Lord enable us to know more and more of His love, mercies and faithfulness through them. May He continue to sanctify us through the trials in our lives and make us more useful in the extension of His kingdom, to share His Gospel with others by word of our mouth as well as through our lives.

How blessed to belong to the Lord! He is our hope here and for all eternity. May His joy continue to be our strength daily for He has promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter what we go through in this life, His grace is sufficient for us. Praise Him!




Another card from my collection :-)

Resting in God's promises

I found this card among my collections of bookmarks and card. It brings smile to my face when I saw the contented look this bear has :-)

I am reminded anew that when we rest in God's promises, we can find much contentment, peace and joy in Him, irrespective of our outward circumstances, physical infirmities or inner struggles. God's presence and His Words can calm any storms in our life and give us hope to face uncertain tomorrows.

We serve such a great God! How I need to remember that! Sometimes, difficult circumstances, stressful situations, physical or mental strain, caused me to forget to cling on to God's promises. I may know God's Words and great doctrine in my mind, but I forgot to apply it to the particular situations in my life or forgot to keep hanging on to God's promises. It seems to be a moment by moment cling to God and His Words, and living by faith from moment to moment. Not just applying God's Words today or to a particular situation yesterday, but every day and to every situation. And it is only possible by God's enablement. That's why prayers and God's Words are important to me. In my own strength I am not able to face each day. But in God's strength, I am more than conquerors through Him Who loved us. I am weak but He is strong, and His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. He gives me the strength and grace to live for Him each day.

Whatever our needs are for the moments, the answer is to be found in the Bible, if we take time to search for it. Whatever we are feeling, whatever we are suffering, whatever we are hoping, the Bible has something to say. Thank God for guiding us, comforting us and strengthening us through His Words and promises.

The only time when I can't enjoy prayers or reading of God's Words is when I am severely depressed. At such time what I experienced is called clinical depression. It is not just feeling down for a few days and then get better. It usually lasted 3 to 6 months or longer. I have had such experience some 11 times over the last 20 years. During such time the chemical in my brain was not functioning properly and I can't think or feel aright. At such time, what I found to be most painful was I can't find any comfort in God's Words or know His presence though He is with me. Thank God for sustaining and restoring me. Thankfully after my diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) last year, I know that this is a medical condition that can be treated. With medical help, I am experiencing relieve from severe depression by it being shortened and I am lifted up to a level that I can function and benefit from God's Words and other helps. I am learning now to manage my condition so that my down time can either be prevented or shortened, and I can live a more stable life and be useful for the Lord.

Some of God's precious promises in the Bible, which I find great comfort and encouragement in, and I am learning to cling on to are as follows:

1) When I am fearful

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee." Isaiah 41:1-2

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

"....we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:27

2) When I feel lonely or wonder if God loves me

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jeremiah 31:3

"...I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

3) When I feel troubled, lost or confused

"For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death." Psalm 48:14

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

4) When I feel very weak and tired

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Thank God for His many wonderful promises in His Words. May God enable us to rest in His wonderful promises and enjoy His peace which passeth all understanding, and joy to walk with Him and serve Him, no matter what we have to go through. He is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. His grace is sufficient for us and we can do all things through Him who strengtheneth us.

How about you? Which among God's many wonderful promises in His Words is/are most precious to you?

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, …. 2 Peter 3:9

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) … Hebrews 10:23

I will fear no evil, for thou art with me

This evening, I misread Spurgeon's devotional note in his Morning and Evening but it turned out to be the very message I need to read!

Spurgeon was writing on Psalm 23 verse 4 "“I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.” Spurgeon wrote

Behold, how independent of outward circumstances the Holy Ghost can make the Christian! What a bright light may shine within us when it is all dark without! How firm, how happy, how calm, how peaceful we may be, when the world shakes to and fro, and the pillars of the earth are removed! Even death itself, with all its terrible influences, has no power to suspend the music of a Christian’s heart, but rather makes that music become more sweet, more clear, more heavenly, till the last kind act which death can do is to let the earthly strain melt into the heavenly chorus, the temporal joy into the eternal bliss! Let us have confidence, then, in the blessed Spirit’s power to comfort us.

Dear reader, are you looking forward to poverty? Fear not; the divine Spirit can give you, in your want, a greater plenty than the rich have in their abundance. You know not what joys may be stored up for you in the cottage around which grace will plant the roses of content.

Are you conscious of a growing failure of your bodily powers? Do you expect to suffer long nights of languishing and days of pain? O be not sad! That bed may become a throne to you. You little know how every pang that shoots through your body may be a refining fire to consume your dross-a beam of glory to light up the secret parts of your soul.

Are the eyes growing dim? Jesus will be your light. Do the ears fail you? Jesus’ name will be your soul’s best music, and his person your dear delight.

Socrates used to say, “Philosophers can be happy without music;” and Christians can be happier than philosophers when all outward causes of rejoicing are withdrawn. In thee, my God, my heart shall triumph, come what may of ills without! By thy power, O blessed Spirit, my heart shall be exceeding glad, though all things should fail me here below.

Thank God that He is with us and we can have the assurance of His love and presence with us no matter what we have to go through in this life.

Thank God I am feeling better. Thank you for your prayers and encouragements. I will continue to pray and wait upon our Lord.

If you missed this video yesterday, do try it today :-). This Psalm 23 recited by a cute little girl is posted by brimo on Youtube. I like the way this cute little girl kept wondering whether it's the verse "Surely goodness and mercies...." that she should be reciting.

It brings smile to me once more as I remember afresh that "Surely goodness and mercies shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever!" Psalm 23:6. Amen.

Fear ye not....ye are of more value than many sparrows

The last few weeks have been very tiring and very very stressful for me due to various reasons. Thank God that last week was a lot better as I learn to cast my cares upon the Lord and to wait upon Him, and He in His faithfulness gave me peace and strength. Yesterday's worship was refreshing and it encourages my heart as I remember afresh God's love and mercies to me.

One of the most stressful thing I am learning to manage now is how to find avenues of freelance work that I can manage and provide sufficient income. It is difficult for me to find a fulltime job now because mental illness is still a terrible stigma in Singapore. Working part-time is also a problem at the moment, as I am physically very tired and mentally easily stressed. Most fulltime job requires filling up a job application form, and I will not be able to get the job because I am required to declare in the job application form my health status. Once I declare my diagnosis in the job application forms, I don't hear from potential employer anymore.

Freelancing seems ideal for me now. Freelancing is also my dream come true as it allows me to have more time to serve God and to reach out to others, as well make use of my skills to be useful and productive. This is what I have always wanted do to.

But the reality about freelancing is that it can be very stressful and difficult in the initial stage of learning to find suitable freelance assignments as well as negotiating for suitable charges and deadlines. I will need to work very hard to build up a good credibility as well as give myself time to find a pool of suitable clients.

I am feeling very very tired due to effect of manic recently. I am slowing down now but the tiredness doesn't seem to go away despite having many hours of rest daily. I am doing some simple exercise every morning and it has been helping me to keep me going for the day.

Recently, thank God I have some freelance opportunities but as they are mentally very straining and need much concentration, I have not been able to do very much daily. I couldn't take on some projects though they pay well partly because of the extremely tight deadlines and also because of the complexity of the projects. I saw opportunities lost but am thankful that I can keep my sanity. But I also do feel disappointed that I can't even manage freelance assignments.

This morning, I felt sad that I can't seem to do anything well enough to earn a decent living. I felt rather useless. This is another struggle I sometimes have - this feeling of uselessness which is eating into me. I keep reminding myself that I have limitations due to bipolar, others may reject me or despised me, but God cares for me and I can still be useful and able to serve God and others through my skills. But sometimes this sense of uselessness eats into me. Oh, how I need the grace to look away from self and circumstances to a God that is all powerful, loving and kind. Money is not all important in this life. As long as I have sufficient to cover my own and my mother's expenses I am contented. I trust that God will work His ways out for me. I need His grace to wait patiently upon Him.

I talked to the Lord and told Him that I know He cares for me and will provide for my every need. I asked that He gives me the strength to look away from myself or others, not to depend upon myself or anyone else. He Who clothes the lilies and feed the sparrows will continue to take care of me. He can provide in His own wonderful ways. Isn't it good that I am daily made to be dependent upon Him? If I am sufficient of myself then I will forget about the Lord. I am humbled as I remember afresh that God owns all the cattles on the thousand hills. He has fed the hungry 4000 who waited upon Him for spiritual and physical food. God uses a raven and poor widow to feed Elijah (1 Kings 17). Moreover, we are not to live by bread alone but by every Word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4).

A commentator commented :

So Elijah goes off to hide. God has promised him provision from ravens! To the Israelites ravens are considered unclean (Leviticus 11:13-15). Nevertheless these birds feed Elijah, twice daily. “Elijah was learning experientially that Yahweh was the only source of food, fertility, and blessing” (Constable). God provides when we are obedient to his word. Picture Elijah living by an obscure brook, waiting patiently for food from birds. His experience demonstrated the certainty of God and prepared Elijah for the bigger challenges that were coming in his life.

Sure enough, the brook runs dry. There is, after all, a drought in progress. But God is still providing for Elijah for now God sends Elijah to the care of a widow. “Then the LORD said to Elijah, ‘Go and live in the village of Zarephath, near the city of Sidon. There is a widow there who will feed you. I have given her my instructions’” (17:8-9).

What a comfort and encouragement!

Another source of stress is my mother's expectations of me. She is a caring and wonderful mother, but sometimes her expectation of me is unrealistic. My mother does not know that I have bipolar disorder and that it is cyclical in nature. She thought I have recovered from my recent depression episode and that I am fully well now and should return to fulltime work. She doesn't know that with my diagnosis of proneness to bipolar it is almost impossible to find a fulltime job in Singapore because of the stigma. She doesn't know that I am physically and mentally not able to take on a fulltime job yet as I am still learning to manage my condition and physically I am easily tired. She doesn't know that her expectations of me is stressing me up and that stress is one of the triggering factors of my depression episodes. I can't share any of these things with her as she will get very worried and she can't sleep when she is worried. Then her blood pressure will go up and she at risk for stroke or heart attack as she has other illnesses as well.

Coping with the stress from my mother's expectations, the stress of not knowing how to find suitable freelance assignments and not knowing how to cope with stress from certain freelance work that are difficult and with tight deadlines, sometimes really drained me.

My friend, Paul, recently counseled me to give myself at least 1 year to progress in this freelance work. My friend, Grace, also advised me how to cope with the expectations of my mother in finding a fulltime job. Thank God for friends like them and some others who are more caring and understanding. Sometimes I feel so alone but when I think of these friends, I know that I am not alone. And the Lord is with me.

Everyday, all kinds of thoughts and emotions threatened to overwhelm me. But I am learning to cast all my cares and anxieties upon our Lord. I try to look at what I still have now and of all the opportunities I have to serve our Lord in small ways daily, to take better care of my mother and reach out to my church friends and other friends, as well as to share His goodness on this blog. I thank God that He is my God and therefore despite whatever fear or difficulties I have, I still have His joy and strength to live for Him. Sometimes my peace are interrupted when I look too much at the storm or the impending storm, but I am learning to remember that He is able to calm any storms in my life. Though the future is so uncertain and can sometimes be very scary, I can face the uncertain tomorrow because He lives! I sing this song to myself again this morning to remind myself that I am serving a risen Saviour and He is with me through all the changing scenes of life. The Lord is my shepherd and I will not not lack any temporal or spiritual needs. Before my last ounce of flour finishes, God will provide! With Him all things are possible as He owns all the cattles on the thousand hills. I must trust and not be afraid. Moreover, nothing is ever going to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. So I need to learn not allow any difficulties or losses or lack to cloud my vision of God. He is good in all His ways.

I am encouraged by God's love and precious promises in His Words. He will give me strength and grace as I look to Him daily. There will be difficulties, there will be stress and fears at times, but God will never leave me nor forsake me. Courage is not the absent of fear, courage is pressing on despite the fears. With God's presence with me, I will go on courageously, by His grace. He has a purpose in these difficult trials and I pray that I may know more of His mercies and faithfulness, and continue to share it with others so that they too may put their hope and trust in God, Who will never leave us nor forsake us. To Him be the glory.

Matthew 10
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 6
19 Lay not up for yourself treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven.....
25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink: nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body more than raiment?
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Where withal shall we be clothed?
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for tomorrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

This lovely bird is taken by my friend and brother-in-Christ, CW Fong. Thank God for his kindness to share this photo with us.

The Lord said, "Fear ye not .... ye are of more value than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:31)

We are more than conquerors through him that loved us

Thank God for the joy and privilege of worship and fellowship again today. Every such opportunity is always very refreshing and uplifting.

Today's worship particularly lifted up my spirit as I was very tired and stressed up yesterday. Thank God for the comfort of His Words and the assurance that He is able to still any storms in my life. My Pastor shared many encouraging portions from the Word of God. But one verse he referred to especially cheered my heart. It was from Romans 8 verse 37:

".... we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37

My Pastor encouraged us that though we have many difficulties in this life, we are more than conquerors through our Lord Jesus Christ who loved us. He has come to live, suffered and died for us. He has conquered and is conquering. His grace is sufficient for me. Thank God for strengthening my heart through this reminder!

My Pastor also printed in our church bulletin his very encouraging sharing from Psalm 42 on "The righteous one in his weariness, looking up". My Pastor shared:

One of the things which I learn from this psalm, for example, is to talk to my soul when I am depressed.

David does that in verse 5—

⁵ Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Notice that I said: “Talk to my soul,” not “talk with my soul.” When you are depressed, you must not talk with your soul. If you do that you will spiral further into depression. You must rather talk to your soul. David, under inspiration, shows us how. Ask your soul why you are cast down. No, no; don’t wait for an answer. That would be to talk with your soul. When you ask your soul why he is cast down, you must ask in a way that suggests that he has no good reason to be cast down! Then exhort your soul to hope in God, to believe Him that help is nigh and He will soon lift up His countenance upon you.

I am learning to talk to my soul and exhort it to hope in God :)

A friend also reminded me that I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:13).

Michelle's hugs gave me a lot of warmth from the Lord :)

Thank God that no matter what we may have to go through in this life, we can have the assurance of His love and presence with us. We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us and we are more than conquerors through Him. What a comfort and encouragement to me! Thank God.


I took picture of these beautiful flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

The stiller of my soul

This afternoon, I felt very tired and rather stressed by certain things that have happened, and I felt rather down subsequently. I just couldn't seemed to think clearly and have to go to rest and just stopped whatever I was doing. I poured out my heart to God in prayers, telling Him how tired and afraid I felt. I know He cares for me and all things are under His control.

Sometimes the future seemed so uncertain. Others seemed to think that I am thinking too much of bipolar that maybe it will help if I just don't think about it and do something else. But how can they understand that bipolar is a part of me and to some extend my strong enemy. Unless I understand bipolar and how it is affecting me, I will be overcome and I will feel very helpless again.

I am still learning to manage my condition. I do still have much trouble learning to manage my body and mind. Whenever I am better, I am usually a little manic. Recently, I have been having more energy and doing more things. I am thankful to God that I can serve Him in small ways and these bring great joy to me to know that I can still serve our Lord and be useful despite my condition.

But I do still have much problem coping with stress and strain. As my body and mind doesn't quite synchronize, by the time I am conscious of it, my body and mind becomes too tired. I seemed to be experiencing the effect of it now. I have tried hard to slow down but still feel very very tired daily. I do get stressed up rather easily now. I fear these are symptoms that my condition is worsening. I pray that God may enable me to rest in Him daily and seek His grace to cope, and not in my own strength.

How I love to go to the beach and watch the seas and the waves. Somehow they have such a calming effect on me. I am reminded always that God Who creates the heaven and the earth, the sea and the waves, is caring for me daily. No matter what storms I may experience in this life, He is with me and His grace is sufficient for me. He Who still the storms for His disciples, can calm any storms in my life. How I look to Him Who loved me and gave His life for me!

Augustine said in his famous Confessions, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord." Truly, it is in God that I found rest for my soul.



I took this photo and video of the waves at t East Coast Beach, Singapore.

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

Yesterday, I shared about how God's presence and His Words have been a comfort to me in my struggles with severe depression in bipolar disorder. Even though at times due to severe depression in which my brain was not able to receive the appropriate messages and I could not think or feel aright, God is still with me, He sustains me through very difficult, painful and lonely experiences and I found comfort from Psalm 130 in which I am reminded that as I cried unto the Lord from the depths of the pit I was in, the Lord will deliver me. Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness that usually after 3 or 6 months of such sufferings, the Lord delivered me and the chemical in my brain were restored, I am once again able to enjoy prayers, reading the Bible, public worship, fellowship, my family, my friends, my work, my hobbies, etc etc.

Jenalexa commented that she is glad to hear that I know in the deepest part of my heart, God loves me and I know he is there no matter what mood state I am in. She felt that this is a great testimony to others who suffer with depressive states and feel judged or condemned while in that condition.

Paula said she too finds it very difficult to enjoy things during depression. Then, she feels guilty for that and it just makes her feel worse. Thank God that He understand everything about us, even though we often don't understand ourself. She found that it's when she just let go and cry to God from the depths of her heart that she finds the most release.

It is sad that sometimes Christian are condemned for going through severe depression even when the nature of it is biological or due to a mood disorder. It is a mercy that God understands and allows this thorn in our flesh for His glory and our good. And He loves and cares for us, sustains and delivers us in His time.

Dr David P Murray did 6 very encouraging and information videos on "Depression and the Christian". In his first message on "Depression and the Christian : The Crisis", he spoke about the impact depression will have our spiritual life:

"We might say that there are three main elements in our make-up that affect our overall well-being: our body, our soul, and our mind (our thoughts). These are not three watertight and disconnected entities. There is considerable overlap and connectivity. When our body breaks down, it affects our spiritual life and our thinking processes. When our spiritual life is in poor condition, our thoughts are affected, and often our bodily health and functions also. It is therefore no surprise that when our mental health is poor, when our thinking processes go awry, that there are detrimental physical and spiritual consequences.

The depressed believer cannot concentrate to read or pray. He doesn’t want to meet people and so may avoid church and fellowships. He often feels God has abandoned him.

Moreover, it is often the case that faith, instead of being a help, can actually cause extra problems in dealing with depression. There is, for instance, the false guilt associated with the false conclusion, “Real Christians don’t get depressed.” There is also the usually mistaken tendency to locate the cause of mental illness in our spiritual life, our relationship with God, which also increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness."

How true that we often mistakenly thought that our depression is due to something wrong in our relationship with God, which increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness. The truth is for those of us with mood disorders such as bipolar or major depression, our depression is due to some chemical imbalance in our brain which cause our brain not able to send or receive appropriate messages. We can't think or feel aright generally, including spiritually.

And sometimes, sadly, our conditions can be made worst by others, even our loved ones and friends, who do not understand what we are going through and simply accused us of not trusting in God, etc etc. It is particularly difficult for Christians as we get blamed excessively for sin and lack of trust in God when we are in fact trusting in God despite our pains and sufferings, and looking to Him for mercies and deliverance.

Dr David P Murray also spoke about this widespread misunderstanding on depression:

“Being depressed is bad enough in itself, but being a depressed Christian is worse. And being a depressed Christian in a church full of people who do not understand depression is like a little taste of hell.”

As we all know there is a terrible stigma attached to mental illness. This is the result of widespread misunderstanding about its causes, its symptoms, and the “cures” available. Some of the misunderstanding is understandable. Unlike cancer or heart disease or arthritis, there is no scan or test which can visibly demonstrate the existence of depression/anxiety. It is a largely “invisible” disease. We want to be able to point to something and say, “There’s the problem!” When we can’t, we often wrongly conclude, “There is no problem!” Or, if we are Christians, we may, usually wrongly, conclude, “My spiritual life is the problem!”

This misunderstanding is addressed in the excellent book, I’m not supposed to feel like this (a book written by a Christian pastor, a Christian psychiatrist, and a Christian lecturer in psychiatry). Near the beginning of the book, they summarise what they believe and what they do not believe about depression:

“What we believe: We believe that all Christians can experience worry, fear, upset and depression. We also believe that being a Christian does not prevent us or our loved ones from experiencing upsetting and challenging problems such as illness, unemployment, or relationship and other practical difficulties.

What we do not believe; Although at times we all choose to act in ways that are wrong and this can lead to bad consequences for us and for others, we do not see anxiety and depression as always being the result of sin; neither do we

believe that mental health problems are the result of a lack of faith.”

It is absolutely vital for Christians to understand and accept that while mental illness usually has serious consequences for our spiritual life, mental illness is rarely caused by problems in our spiritual life.

Truly, there is still much misunderstandings about depression and bipolar depression even among Christians. It is often ascribed to a weakness in our character, our being too emotional, our lack of faith in God or our sins. There are times when these are true but they are not always so. Thank God that even when we don't understand what we are going through during a severe depression episode due to our mood disorders or other reasons, and others judged or condemn us or misunderstood us, God's love for us remains unchanging and He understands and cares for us. He gives us grace and strength, and delivered us in His time.

Thank God that now my family and friends are more understanding and supportive. I am thankful to God for their love and kindness as they seek to understand my condition and bear with me in my weaknesses and struggles with this chronic mood disorder. I know that at times it can be very difficult, confusing and frustrating for our family, loved ones and friends as they could not understand our behaviours or what we are going through. Thankfully there are many helps available to on how family members and friends can help to understand and care for their loved ones with mood disorder. Thank God for family and friends who cared enough to study depression and how best they can love their loved ones through this condition.

I am thankful to God that He is with me always and He has provided many people who love and accept me, including my many blogging friends! I found that though my flesh and my heart failed at times and others also misunderstood me, God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. What a mercy!




I took picture of these beautiful flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

Out of the depths - Psalm 130

My friend and brother-in-Christ, John, did this lovely video on Psalm 130.

Psalm 130 is one of my favourite Psalms in the Bible. In my struggles with severe depression, this Psalm has brought much comfort to me. From the depths of my dark and painful experiences, I learn to cry unto our Lord for in Him alone I can find salvation and deliverance.

During severe depression, I am particularly conscious of my sins and failures towards God and other people. Though depression is not always due to sin or spiritual reasons, it does have a detrimental effect on one's spiritual life. During depression, what I find most unbearable was my inability to enjoy prayers, reading of the Bible, public worship and fellowship. I do love and enjoy these things when I am well. But during depression, I can't feel any joy in these things at all. This is because depression caused the brain not to function properly and not able to send the right messages, and a person is not able to think or feel rightly. So I can't feel any joy or enjoy anything generally. But I mistakenly thought it is because I was not right with God. Yet no matter how much I prayed and seek the Lord's forgiveness, I could not get better. Usually it is after 3 to 6 months, or sometimes longer that I began to feel better.

And when others implied that I was depressed either because I have sinned or lack of faith in God, it doesn't help at all but only aggravate my condition as I began to experience a lot of guilt when there is no basis for it. Only God knows how I cried unto Him and look to Him during those dark days. I used to sing this Psalm and find comfort that with God there is forgiveness of sins and whether my depression is due to sin or not, God will forgive and deliver me. If God were to mark my sins, I cannot stand before Him. But God is merciful and I hope in Him. Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness in sustaining and delivering me time and again. I am encouraged by His love, mercies and faithfulness.

Thank God that my diagnosis last year helped me to know that I have a proneness to bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) which is a chronic mood disorder that can be treated. Thank God that now with medical helps, counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, regular exercise, Omega 3 fish oil, managing stress level, et etc my condition is under control now and I am able to live a more stable and useful life. I also read the Bible and pray daily for strength and grace from God to live for Him joyfully and serve Him despite my condition and limitations. I thank God for joy in Him daily as I experience His love and mercies in many wonderful ways.

Thank God that no matter what depths we may fall into in this life, we can cry unto Him and find comfort and deliverance in Him. And when He allows us to go through prolonged period of darkness, pains and sufferings, we can still have the assurance of His love and presence with us.

I thank God that He brought me to know more of Himself and His love for me through my darkest and most painful battle with depression. God is very real to me because of His presence with me and the way I see Him working in my life and delivering me time and again. I pray that I may be able to love Him and serve Him all the days of my life, and I will be able to love others with His love so that they too can know the saving grace of God and know His love and care.

And for us who have placed our trust and hope in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, we can have the assurance of God's love for us and His presence with us through all the changing scenes of life. Even when we cannot feel God's presence with us because of our depression numbing our brain and feelings, we can still have the calm assurance that God loves us and is with us, and He will deliver us. And one day, when our tasks here are completed, we can have the joy of entering into our eternal rest and we shall enjoy His love and fellowship forever more, never to be hindered by sins or sicknesses any more. What a blessed hope!

Psalm 130
Scottish Metrical Psalm

1  Lord, from the depths to thee I cried.
2     My voice, Lord, do thou hear:
Unto my supplication's voice
   give an attentive ear.

3  Lord, who shall stand, if thou, O Lord,
   should'st mark iniquity?
4  But yet with thee forgiveness is,
   that feared thou mayest be.

5  I wait for God, my soul doth wait,
   my hope is in his word.
6  More than they that for morning watch,
   my soul waits for the Lord;

I say, more than they that do watch
   the morning light to see.
7  Let Israel hope in the Lord,
   for with him mercies be;

And plenteous redemption
   is ever found with him.
8  And from all his iniquities
   he Isr'el shall redeem.

Come unto me....and I will give you rest

I was rather manic recently, as you can see :) I have been writing long posts to share my thoughts and feelings which is therapeutic to me. Sometimes I also write long emails to share with some friends. I do have racing thoughts on most days and find it especially a relief to be able to share on this blog. Thanks all my dear blogging friends and readers, for dropping by and share my experiences. Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging comments! It's a joy to get to know all of you and to be able to mutually encourage one another and support one another as we strive to manage our bipolar disorder or depression so that we can be more functional and useful.

I am thankful to God for His mercies and faithfulness in answering my prayers and providing some freelance assignments for me. It is because I am able to work freelance that I am able to continue to write and share my experiences and God's goodness to me on this blog.

As I am rather manic, I do still have problem slowly down. I know I need to slow down and pace myself moderately as past experiences have taught me that prolonged manic and hyper-activity will lead to a severe depression episodes that can last for months at ends.

I have been very occupied in these days doing 2 freelance job assignments, developing my blogs, doing volunteer work for my church and making bookmarks for my church friends. I do enjoy these very much and sometimes lost track of time, or forget to take short breaks in between. I have been feeling rather tired at the end of each day for the last 2 weeks. I know these are early signs that I am over-straining myself. I am trying to slow down and take rests in between. I do pray that God may grant me wisdom to manage my time and strength so that I don't fall into severe depression again.

Today I felt very tired even in the afternoon and had to take a nap, which I don't usually do. As I laid down to rest, I commit myself unto the Lord. I asked for His grace to help me to cope with each day in His strength and not to over-strain. I am reminded that my strength and joy is in Him and I pray that He will not let me forget Him or let any work/activities let priority in my life.

I thank God for the joy of seeking Him in prayers and devotions every morning and evening. This evening, the Lord encouraged me with the following passages from Matthew 11:

Matthew 11:28-30

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Thank God that when I feel tired and weary after a long day, I can come before our Lord in prayers and commit myself, my family, my church, my work, etc etc to Him, and find rest in Him. It is truly blessed to belong to the Lord Jesus Christ, to have the assurance that all things are in His hands. I must not worry or be overly anxious but learn to cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me. Thank and praise Him.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28


I took this flower at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee

Thank God that He is my help and strength daily.

Before my diagnosis of bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) last year, I have gone through some 10 to 11 episodes of severe depressions which often lasted some 3 to 6 months or longer. During those very distressing times, I didn't know that my condition is a medical condition that can be treated. I hid my sufferings most of the time because of the terrible stigma associated with depression even among Christians. I am thankful to God for preserving me through those very difficult and painful times, and extremely lonely and confusing time. Now, I found comfort in the knowledge that God loves me and is working all things for His glory and my good even through this chronic illness.

I thank God that now my family, church and friends are more understanding and supportive. Bipolar disorder can be very confusing to our family and friends. They not only caused much distress to us, but to people around us as well. Thank God for helping my family and friends to be more very understanding, supportive, prayerful and kind. One of the purpose of my developing this blog is also to share with family and friends of people with bipolar disorder or depression, so that carers and friends can know how best to help someone with mood disorders.

Pastor David P Murray, who did 6 very information and useful videos on "Depression and the Christian" said in his 6th message on "The Carer":

As Christians, we surely want to be the person whom our loved ones turn to in time of need. And, when they do turn to us, we want to be able to help them and not hurt them further.

It is, therefore, imperative that we learn about depression and other mental illnesses in order to avoid the very common mistakes that lay-people often make when dealing with the mentally ill, and in order to be of maximum benefit to those who are suffering.

Thank God that He has provided family and friends who care and willing to learn about our conditions so that they can be of maximum benefit to us. These are tokens of God's love and goodness to us.

Even at times when family or friends failed to understand or support us, we may have the comforting assurance that God cares. He Who loved us enough to send His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to live, suffered and died for us, continues to love us and care for us daily. And very often, His presence and faithfulness is most experienced in our darkest day. We would never have been able to survive without Him!

How comforting to remember that the Lord is with us. When we passed through deep waters or go through the fires, He is with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us. May we rest in His love and faithfulness when reasons, feelings and even faith fails us. We rest in Him and look to Him alone, and not even to our faith which is often weak.

May God's love through our Lord Jesus Christ brings you comfort and sweet peace today :)






I took this picture of the waves at Changi Beach, Singapore.

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee." Isaiah 41:1-2

Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

Thank God for the joy and privilege to join in my church's public worship again this morning and to fellowship with my friends. My Pastor shared a very encouraging sermon with us on the theme "The Fear of the Lord" (Proverbs 1:7).

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge:..." Proverbs 1:7

Today, Pastor JJ shared with us that the basis of our fear of the Lord is:

1) The LORD is our God and our Creator
The LORD is self-existent and He depends on no one for His existence. On the other hand, we are fully dependant on Him for our existence, life and motion. Our lives are in the hands of God.

2) The LORD is a holy God
God's holiness exposes our earthiness and uncleanness.

3) The LORD is a covenant God
God Who is self-existent, transcendent and holy has chosen to reveal Himself unto a people and adopted them to be His sons and daughters. God chose to reveal Himself to us so that we can know Him and be adopted as His children. God is our covenant making and covenant keeping God and He draws us near to Himself, by sending His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to live and died for us, so that we may know Him.

When we come to know and understand who God is, we are drawn to love and reverent Him. The fear we have of God is a fear that causes us to know our own unworthiness and makes us want to respect and please God, and makes us fear to sin against Him. It is a fear that causes us to love God just as a child would love his father with respect.


This encouraging message reminds me once again of God's mercies to me in leading me to seek and know Him about 20 years ago. Through an episode of severe depression, and finding life meaningless, the Lord has providentially used my circumstances to lead me to seek Him.

I was born in Malaysia and I grew up there. More than 20 years ago, I came to Singapore on my own to work. With unrealized ambitions, and seeing the deceitfulness of human heart, I was very disillusioned. I wasn't interested in the rat race I saw around me in my job. I was disappointed with the fragile human friendships I experienced then too. Life seemed so meaningless. Providentially, as I love reading, I came across a book in the library in which several Christians testified to living a very meaningful life because they had a personal relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. I have always believed there is a God but never felt the need to be "religious." But at that point of time, I seemed to have come to an end in myself. I was far away from home and family. I was not able to realized my ambitions and disillusioned by friendships. I wondered whether life was worth living. But that book opened my eyes to realized that what if there is really a God? What if God really loves me and is interested in my life? And He has made me for a purpose? Which means my existence is not by accident? Wouldn't that makes life meaningful? I have never really prayed before. But that evening, I prayed and asked God to lead me to know Him through my 2 colleagues who have been witnessing to me. By God's mercies, He used these 2 brothers to bring me to church. They gave me a Bible and I began to read, go to Church for public worship and I pray on my own too. As I read the Bible, I was moved by the love of God for lost sinners. For the Bible says, that

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

To know that God loved me and sent His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to live and died for me, was very encouraging to me. Though I found much disappointment in human friendships, I found much consolations in God's love. I read with wonder of how the Lord suffered and died on the cross for us. Who will lay down his life for another man? But our Lord laid down His life for us, to save us from our sins, by paying the penalty for our sins, so that we can have our sins forgiven by the cleansing of His precious blood and we can enjoy eternal life in Him. What a comfort!

My life was never the same again. Though I continue to experience about 10 to 11 severe depression episodes thereafter until my diagnosis last year, because I didn't know that I have this condition called bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), the Lord's love changed my life. God's love gives me the courage to face many difficult challenges in my life. And no matter what He allows me to go through, I have experienced His love and faithfulness in many wonderful ways.

I love the Lord, though my love are feeble at times, and I failed the Lord in many ways. But life will be meaningless to me without God. I know that God has a purpose for my life here, even in this bipolar condition. I am thankful that through my struggles with severe depressions, the Lord has led me to know Him in very personal and real way daily. Without God sustaining me, I would not be alive today neither would I be able to be useful. I thank God for His love for me despite my unworthiness. It is my prayer daily that God will help me to know Him and live for Him.

Augustine said in his famous Confessions, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord." Truly, it is in God that I found rest for my soul. And I am comforted by the knowledge that one day when my tasks here are completed, God will take me home to be with Himself, to my eternal rest and fellowship with Him.

This morning we sang one of my favourite portions in Psalm 73 (This Psalm can be sing to the tune Wetherby or Wiltshire which can be downloaded (.mp3) from here. You can also download from Free Reformed Software Page, the Psalter with Tunes or Psalm Tunes Midi Files)

Psalm 73:25-28

Whom have I in the heavens high
but thee, O Lord, alone?
And in the earth whom I desire
besides thee there is none.

My flesh and heart doth faint and fail,
but God doth fail me never:
For of my heart God is the strength
and portion for ever.

For, lo, they that are far from thee
for ever perish shall;
Them that a whoring from thee go
thou hast destroyed all.

But surely it is good for me
that I draw near to God:
In God I trust, that all thy works
I may declare abroad.

Edward Griffin preached a very encouraging sermon titled "Whom have I in heaven but Thee". This is one of my favourite sermons. Edward said the Psalmist, Asaph, had experienced a severe trial from the infirmities of his own heart; which trial, together with the manner in which he was relieved, is described in this beautiful Psalm. He had been “envious at the foolish when” he “saw the prosperity of the wicked,” and had indulged in unworthy complaints against divine providence. But the glory of God’s faithfulness and truth so opened on his soul, and the comparative emptiness of all earthly things, that with more than recovered spirits he exclaimed, “Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee.”

Edward wrote:

Such a temper of supreme delight in God will operate in unreserved and universal submission to divine providence. While God is more beloved than all other objects, the withholding or removal of every thing besides him will not awaken a spirit of unsubmission and rebellion.

While the Christian has such supreme delight in God, he will not be inordinately leaning on friends or wealth or any worldly object for enjoyment. No high expectations will be formed except those which centre in the supreme good. Lightly valuing the things of time and sense, he will scorn the restless pursuits and unsatisfied desires of the covetous; and holding the commands of God in supreme veneration, he will practice deeds of liberal charity.

Sensible that prosperity gives and adversity takes away only those things which are least desirable, neither by prosperity nor adversity will he be greatly moved. Ever assured that God, the supreme good, is safe, he will dismiss all anxieties respecting future changes, and come what will, he will “rejoice evermore.” Calmly resigning the management of all affairs into hands dearer than his own, he passes his days in unruffled serenity, and knows not the distrusts of jealousy nor the uneasiness of unbelief. Having a greater regard for the divine will than for any earthly comfort which that will can bestow, he has learned “both how to abound and to suffer need,” and “in whatsoever state” he is, “therewith to be content.”

The result of this supreme love to God will be faith, trust, self-denial, obedience, and an unreserved consecration of all that we are and have to him, to be disposed of according to his pleasure, and to be employed in his service, how and when and where he is pleased to appoint.

Read the rest of this very encouraging sermon from my Believers Encouragement blog at "Whom have I in heaven but Thee".




My friend, Heng Sau, took this photo at Saipan.

Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73-25-26

Comfort from God's Word

God's love

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind: the LORD raiseth them that are bowed down: the LORD loveth the righteous: Psalm 146:8

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

Ephesians 2:4-7
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

We love him, because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

God's Faithfulness

Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generation; …. Deuteronomy 7:9

(For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them. Deuteronomy 4:31

He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations. Psalm 105:8

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? Numbers 23:19

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) … Hebrews 10:23

If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, …. 2 Peter 3:9

O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth. Isaiah 25:1

And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. Psalm 9:10

Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth forever. Psalm 119:160

For ever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven. Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: … Psalm 119:89, 90

For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us. 2 Corinthians 1:20

My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips. Psalm 89:34

For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee. Isaiah 54:10

… yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass, I have purposed it, I will also do it. Isaiah 46:11