More Than Conquerors: Christian Experience

Showing posts with label Christian Experience. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Grace sufficient for each day

Thank God for His reminders through His creations and His providence daily that He cares for us. He has promised in His Words in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient for us. This is a tremendous encouragement to me in this pilgrim journey. Even as a Christian, I continue to face various and many challenges in life just like every one else. I go through time of wellness, sickness, success, failures, happiness, disappointments, life, death, etc etc etc too.

Being a Christian does not exempt me from the trials and difficulties in this life. Having bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness, can make life very difficult for myself and others. The greatest comfort for me in this personal trial, is that God loves me and is sovereignly in control of every situation in my life. Even in allowing me to have bipolar disorder, His love and faithfulness remains unchanging. In fact, it is through my struggles with the 11 or so severe depression episodes over the last 20 years, that I am drawn closer to God to know Him and His love better. At times when I am very confused and hurt by what I was going through, I could only cast myself wholely upon God. At times when family and friends could not understand what I was going through, I could find no comfort in human friendships, the Lord keep me in the palm of His hands. In His love alone, I found that enduring and unconditional love. It gives me the strength to face each day.

Thank God that He is with us always. He will continue to give us the grace to walk with Him and serve Him, even if we have to go through the valley of the shadow of death at times. And when our tasks here is accomplished, we have the blessed hope of being with Him forever to enjoy His love and fellowship for all eternity. What a blessed hope!

My brother took this lovely photo at Muriwai Beach, Western Auckland, New Zealand.

I use this photo to make the following Bookmarks. If you wish to make the bookmark yourself, you can download the respective Free Bookmark Template:

1) 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for thee".

Download Free Bookmark Template: free-bookmarks-2cor12v9.doc

2) Friendship quote:

If you love something, set if free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours.
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.

Download Free Bookmark Template: free-bookmarks-muriwai-beach.doc

3) Chinese Bible verse for 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for thee”.

In Chinese this verse is read as 我的恩典够你用的 (Pinyin : wǒ de ēn diǎn gòu nǐ yòng de)

Download Free Bookmark Template :

free-chinese-bookmarks-2cor12v9.doc

free-chinese-bookmarks-2cor12v9.pdf

Check out more Free Bookmarks Templates at my Homemade Bookmarks Hobby Blog.

Free Calendars 2010 and Free Planners 2010 Resources:

Free Bookmarks Resources:

Free Cards Resources:

Free Handicrafts Resources : Free Cross-stitch

Free Sewing Resources : Knitting

Free Origami Resources:

Free Arts and Crafts for Kids Resources:

Nice Piano Instrumental Music Resources:

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Thank God for the joy of worship and fellowship

Thank God for the joy of going to church today to worship God and to have fellowship with my church friends. It is spiritually very refreshing to me and it lifts up my spirit to continue to seek God and walk with Him and serve Him in the coming week.

This is a privilege which I can't enjoy very much whenever I go through relapses of severe depression. Whenever I go through severe depression, I will be so slowed down and miserable that I could hardly function. I have no energy nor will to do anything. From the moment I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed, I will be extremely miserable. This often can go on for about 3 to 6 months, or longer. I dragged myself through each day, incapable of feeling any pleasure or joy. The most painful of all was the sad fact that I lost my joy in the Lord too at such times. This is because the chemical in my brain is not functioning properly or sending the appropriate messages. I was not able to think or feel aright generally. So I often mistakenly thought that either God has forsaken me or I was not a true Christian. Sometimes I wondered whether I was a hypocrite destined for eternal damnation. Life seems so meaningless to me without God. What is the point of going on?

I cannot imagine how I could have survived the 10 or so dark and painful depression episodes without God’s preservation and mercies. During those years, I didn’t know that my condition is an illness and that there is actually a pattern to it. After several months of normal or high (hypomania), a relapse of clinical depression will follow for another few months. In the recent years, my relapses have become more closer and more difficult to cope. With every severe depressive episodes, there is the tendency to have suicidal thoughts as life seems so meaningless without God and the ability to enjoy anything or do anything. The seemed no light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank God that even though I was not able to feel His presence or love for me during a relapse of severe depression, He has never leave me nor forsake me. In fact, it is He that is sustaining me. Underneath me is His everlasting arms! What a mercy!

"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: ...." Deuteronomy 33:27a

It is a mercy that I can have opportunities to worship God in a Church that love God and love me. I thank God for His love for me in leading me to know Himself in 1990, some 18 years ago, and how He has sustained me through so many challenges in my life. Even now in this bipolar disorder, He is continuing to enable me to know more of His love and faithfulness.

I thank God for my family, my Pastor, my church elders and deacons, church friends and other friends, for all their prayers and encouragements, and kindness in so many ways. These are tokens of God's love for me and they strengthen my heart as I seek to walk with the Lord Jesus Christ and serve Him. It gives me courage to continue on despite my condition. Though I know that there is always the possibility that I might have to go through severe depression again though on medication and with other help (as this is the nature of the illness), but I find much joy and courage in the Lord daily as I look to Him for strength and grace to live for Him. I know that He will continue to take care of me even as I strive to take care of myself so that I can continue to seek and serve Him. And I can look forward to the day when my tasks on this earth is completed, and the Lord takes me home to be with Himself, to my eternal rest, to enjoy His love, to worship Him and to spend eternity with Him. What a blessed hope!

My brother, Arthur, took this lovely photo at Muriwai Beach, West Auckland, New Zealand.

"...for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

John 14
1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Rejoicing in God's sovereignty

Thank God that I was able to attend my church Prayer Meeting last evening. My Pastor is sharing with us from the Book of Psalms serially. Last evening, we read Psalm 47.

Pastor JJ reminded us that Psalm 46 which we studied last Friday, was a Psalm about the great anxiety and turmoil that can come upon the lives of God's people. The Psalmist painted a very gloomy picture and it seems things are going to get worst. But the Lord exhorts us to be still and to know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). We are not to fear because God is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). We are to understand that come what may, God is sovereignly in control.

Psalm 47 begins with a triumphant note. The Psalmist exhort God's people to clap their hands and shout unto God with the voice of triumph (v1). We are to sing praises to God Who is our King. God is the King of all the earth and He sitteth upon the throne of his holiness. (vs 6-8).

This is a very joyful Psalm. It seems to be a Psalm that is sang in celebration after all our troubles are gone. But Pastor JJ think that this is not so much a Psalm to be sung in celebration but it is a Psalm to be sung in anticipation of victory or rest as indicated in verse 3-4. Therefore, even when we are going through severe trials in our lives, we can sing this Psalm to encourage ourselves through all the pain and sufferings in this life. The reason for our rejoicing in God even admist our suffering, is the comforting truth that God is the King of the universe and He is sovereignly in control of all things. This is the reason to praise the Lord. We must praise the Lord because our eyes of faith ought to see what the Lord is doing. We are often unable to praise the Lord because of sin and the tendency to look at the winds and the waves surrounding us. If we think and meditate on the great things of God, His love and sovereignty and we set our heart upon God, we can rejoice in Him. May God help us to turn our eyes upon Him. Our afflictions and trouble are light compared to the eternity God is preparing us to enjoy.

Psalm 47
1 O clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph.
2 For the LORD most high is terrible; he is a great King over all the earth.
3 He shall subdue the people under us, and the nations under our feet.
4 He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.
5 God is gone up with a shout, the LORD with the sound of a trumpet.
6 Sing praises to God, sing praises: sing praises unto our King, sing praises.
7 For God is the King of all the earth: sing ye praises with understanding.
8 God reigneth over the heathen: God sitteth upon the throne of his holiness.
9 The princes of the people are gathered together, even the people of the God of Abraham: for the shields of the earth belong unto God: he is greatly exalted.

I took this lovely photo at Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are thy works;
and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalm 139:14

Thursday, March 6, 2008

From the rising of the sun

Thank God for the joy of waking up each morning! Whenever I am severely depressed, I dreaded waking up in the morning. That was always the hardest part of the day. I dreaded the thought of having to face another day of hopeless, useless and pain.

But now it is so different! Thank God for restoring me from my recent relapse of severe depression in July 2007. The wonderful thing about bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness is that whenever I am better or well, I am usually kind of hypomanic. And at such time, I wake up each morning with joy and thankfulness. I look forward to the many challenges each day. I have a lot of ideas, become more creative, have more energy and there seemed to be so many things I want to do or accomplish each day.

Thank God for every opportunity to know Him and serve Him with each new given day. I pray that I may always know His love and faithfulness, no matter what He sovereignly allows me to go through in this pilgrim journey. I am thankful to God for enabling me to know His love and mercies experientially especially through my severe depression episodes. Those severe depression episodes are painful beyond words, but they also have a very sanctifying influence in my life. They are mercifully used by God to purge me of my dross.

Sometimes when I am well, I can be very complacent. Sometimes I get carried away by many things and thoughts that I have daily. I can be quite a workaholic and neglect God, my family, friends and people around me. I can become very task-orientated and just want to accomplish as much as possible daily. I derived satisfaction from doing a good job at whatever I do, as I am some kind of a perfectionist. Sometimes I forget to spend more time with God, forget to pray, forget to follow His Words and seek His guidance or direction.

Severe depression episodes are mercifully used by God to humble me, to bring me down more to earth and realize afresh what really matters in this life. Nothing in this life will last for eternity. Not my possessions, my reputations, my family, my career, my friends, my church, my hobbies, etc etc. None of these things will last. One day they shall all perish. But my relationship with our Heavenly Father and our beloved Saviour Lord Jesus Christ, shall last for all eternity! One day when all things are gone, and even my own life ends, our Lord Jesus Christ shall take me home to be with Himself in to enjoy His love and glory for all eternity. What a blessed hope!

Thank God for the encouraging reminders at the Westminster Shorter Catechism class at my church last evening. It was the first time I attended the Class together with my sister-in-Christ, Grace Lim. Pastor JJ was lecturing on Westminster Shorter Catechism Question 20:

Westminster Shorter Catechism Question 20: Did God leave all mankind to perish in the estate of sin and misery?

Answer: God having, out of his mere good pleasure, - from all eternity, - elected some to everlasting life, - did enter into a covenant of grace, to deliver them out of the estate of sin and misery, and to bring them into an estate of salvation by a Redeember.

Pastor JJ reminded us that God has established a covenant of grace with His people. He is a covenant keeping God and He will not break His covenant/promise/contract with us. Despites our sins and failures, God remains unchanging! Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

How I pray for grace to know God in very real and personal ways, to remember His love and faithfulness through all the changing scenes of life. And to be able to praise Him from the rising of the sun until the going down of the same.

This beautiful picture is taken by my friend, HH Sau, at Tai Po, Hong Kong.

From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD'S name is to be praised. Psalm 113:3

Saturday, March 1, 2008

How to Dance in the Rain

Recently, I reflected much on the various friendships God has given me throughout my life, and the tremendous blessings these friendships have been in helping me to grow and be a more useful person.

But of all the human friendships and relationships on this earth, I think none is so precious as that of one's own spouse. I believe that it is good for husbands and wives to have their circle of friends even after marriage, but ultimately their closest and dearest human friend on earth should be their own spouses. And for both of them, their best Friend is our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I feel sad that my good friends, whether it be a man or woman, once they are married they can't maintain a close friendship with me anymore. But I also understand that their spouses should be their closest friend on this earth, and their family, their spouse and children will have to take priority over any other relationships in this world. This is my own stand too. If I ever marry in the Lord, I pray that God may enable me to be my husband's best human friend and he mine. And our Lord Jesus Christ must always be most important in our lives, even more than we are to one another. If we have God and the Lord Jesus Christ as the foundation of our love and friendship, it will be a blessed and lasting one, as we will be able to pray and seek Him together, and also serve Him together.

Johnson See, my brother-in-Christ at another church, FERC, shared the following heart-warming article on the relationship between a husband and his wife :

How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are'?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is'.

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life'.

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'

"We do not remember days,
we remember moments."

(I took the picture of these 2 lovely swans made of flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.)

In the Bible, God described to us the true unconditional and lasting love that He has exhibited towards us and the same kind of love which He desires us to emulate. This is possible only if we have His Spirit within us and His grace helping and enabling us as we pray and seek His help daily to do so. The word "love" is translated as "charity" in the King James Bible :

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth:

One modern English Bible translation, translated the above passage as:

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its won praises. It isn't arrogant.
5. It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.
6. It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
7. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
8. Love never comes to an end.

Richard Baxter wrote a very useful and biblical view of marriage entitled "The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives towards Each Another".

Baxter also wrote a helpful article for husbands on the "Special Duties of Husbands to their Wives".

The Covenant Family Fellowship has a very useful article on "The Defence of Family Worship.

In the Bible, God describes marriages as reflecting the relationship between our Lord Jesus Christ and the Church.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In the Bible, God teaches us that husbands are to love their wives even as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. Wives are to submit lovingly to their husbands who are the head of the family even as Christ is the head of the Church.

May all Christian marriages strive, by the grace of God, to reflect the loving relationship between Christ and the Church. What a blessed marriage that would be! Surely this will be another great blessing of God and a little taste of heaven on earth :-)

Thank God for husbands / wives who stood by their spouses who have bipolar disorder or other mood disorders. It is a great mercy to be married to a husband/wife who will love us at all times.

With my formal diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder in March 2007, I know that it is unlikely for me to marry as there is still such a terrible stigma associated with mood disorder or poor mental health, even among Christians. In my younger days, I have cherished the hope of marrying a Christian man who loves the Lord, and to seek and serve the Lord together with him. But now I am thinking that perhaps it is God's will after all that I should remain single. I cannot bring myself to think of the pain and sufferings my future family may have to go through with me in this mood disorder. Though my condition is currently under control, bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition just like asthma and diabetes. The nature of this mood disorder is such that we will go through the same ground over and over again even though we are on medication and other helps. I pray that now with the knowledge of my actual diagnosis, the Lord will enable me to seek appropriate help and treatment. And by God's mercies, hopefully my downtime may be lesser and lesser, and I may be more functional and able to serve our Lord more effectively.

I realized that as long as we are in the will of God, that is the best for us. So it doesn't matter to me any more whether I am single or married. I will continue to seek and serve the Lord in my various callings, to the best of my ability, as He enables me. I found that, by the goodness and mercies of God, I have no lack of love from family and friends. The Lord in His faithfulness has provided me with family, church brethren and friends who love and care for me in many wonderful ways. These are tokens of God's love for me, and it is enough to sustain me through this pilgrim journey :-)

To God be the glory.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

The faithfulness of Divine Love

Recently, I read a very encouraging portion from CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening on 28 Feb evening. I am using CH Spurgeons' Morning and Evening as part of daily devotion besides reading the Bible and prayer. I always find his writing very devotional and heart warming. He is a man after God's own heart and my heart is always strangely warmed when reading his writing and sermons.

Spurgeon shared from 1 King 17 about Elijah and the widow from Zarephath. In particular, he commented as follows on 1 King 17:6 :

“The barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah.”

Spurgeon directed us to see the faithfulness of divine love. The widow of Zarephath had daily necessities. She had herself and her son to feed in a time of famine; and now, in addition, the prophet Elijah was to be fed too. But though the need was threefold, yet the supply of meal wasted not, for she had a constant supply. Each day she made calls upon the barrel, but yet each day it remained the same.

So it is with us. We have daily necessities, and because they come so frequently, we are apt to fear that the barrel of meal will one day be empty, and the cruse of oil will fail us. Spurgeon encouraged us to be rest assured that, according to the Word of God, this shall not be the case. Each day, though it bring its trouble, shall bring its help; and though we should live to outnumber the years of Methuselah, and though our needs should be as many as the sands of the seashore, yet shall God’s grace and mercy last through all our necessities, and we shall never know a real lack.

For three long years, in this widow’s days, the heavens never saw a cloud, and the stars never wept a holy tear of dew upon the wicked earth: famine, and desolation, and death, made the land a howling wilderness, but this woman never was hungry, but always joyful in abundance.

So shall it be with us. Others may suffered without help or relief, but we shall find that our place of defence shall be the munition of rocks: “Your bread shall be given you, and your water shall be sure.” Spurgeon said it is better to have God for our guardian, than the Bank of England for our possession. We might spend the wealth of the Indies, but the infinite riches of God we can never exhaust.

What a comfort to remember afresh that God cares for us in very wonderful ways daily. Though we have daily necessities, God provides for our every need - spiritual and temporal as we look to Him daily. May He enable us to know Him, love Him and serve Him daily.

I took this picture at East Coast Beach Park, Singapore

I have been young and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. Psalm 37:25

Friday, February 29, 2008

God is our refuge and strength

Thank God that this evening I was able to attend the Prayer Meeting in my church. It's been a long time since I last attended our Prayer Meeting due to my poor health condition and other reasons. Thank God for a kind sister-in-Christ who fetched me there and send me home.

I was greatly encouraged by my Pastor's sharing on Psalm 46. This is one of my favourite psalms in the Bible.

Pastor JJ exhorted us that in the troubles and trials of our lives, there are 3 lessons we can learn from this Psalm.

1) We are not to fear. Psalm 46 begins with these verses

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

In the worst calamities that can befall us or the severest trials we may go through in this life, we need not fear because God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (v1). Verses 2 and 3 described the worst that can happen on this earth - the earth be removed, the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, the water thereof roar (probably a tsunami) and the mountains shake. Even if these should happen, we can find our refuge in God. Underneath us is His everlasting arms. (Deut 33:27)

2) We are not to be shakened or moved. Psalm 46:4-7 reads

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

In the trials of our life, we are not to be shaken or moved because God is with us (v7) and in us (v5) through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is with us to comfort and strength us. God promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

3) We are not to fret or be anxious. Psalm 46:8-11 reads :

8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

In time of anguish and sufferings, we may find our refuge in God who can quiet all the noise within and without us because He is God (v10). He is sovereign over all situations in our life. Nothing can happen to us without His foreknowledge. We can cast all our cares and anxieties upon Him and know that He is working all things for His glory and our good.

Thank God for such a comfort and encouragement through His Words. In this life, we may face many different trials, difficulties and sufferings. But we can find our refuge and strength in God. We can find our peace in Him in the midst of whatever turmoil we may experience. We can be still and know that He is God. In Him alone we can experience peace in the midst of turmoil and troubles. Thank God that He is with us always and will never leave us nor forsake us.

I took this picture at East Coast Beach Park, Singapore

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled,
though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God,
the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved:
God shall help her, and that right early.

My brother, Arthur, who is in New Zealand, took this photo at Muriwai Beach, West Auckland, New Zealand.

Be still, and know that I am God - Psalm 46:10

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Comforting others with God's comfort

Marja shared on her latest post "Enlarging your soul through grief and loss", on how in her own trials, she is drawing most of her comfort from being there for friends who are in trouble. Coming alongside others somehow brings some healings.

It has been my own experiences too that whenever the Lord enables me to reach out to others who are in need, He brings joy and comfort to me in my own afflictions. Comforting others with the same comfort which God is comforting me, reinforces God's truth, His love and sovereignty in my own life.

Many years ago, I read a very encouraging and inspiring account of the life of CH Spurgeon's wife, Susannah Thompson. I have posted Susannah's story on my Believers' Encouragement blog under "Mrs Spurgeon".

Throughout much of her married life Mrs. Spurgeon was a semi-invalid. For long periods of time she was confined to her home and was not well enough even to attend church. But she bore up nobly under those conditions. She encouraged her husband under his frequent sufferings and did not complain about her own.

Nevertheless, she longed to be busy for the Lord. Every sentence from her pen that has come down to us and every mention of her that has been left by others reveals a very gracious and spiritually minded woman.

In 1875 a door of rich usefulness was opened for her. Her husband's Lectures to My Students had recently been published, and the Lord set upon her heart the desire to send a copy to some needy ministers in England. From what she could save from her housekeeping expenditures, she had just enough to purchase 100 copies of the Lectures. Soon she sent a copy to each of one hundred needy ministers. She thought that was the end of the matter, but although she did not allow her husband to mention what she had done, news of her action spread, and friends began sending her money so she could send out more books. Several of the pastors who had been given the copies sent letters that expressed their thanks and made it evident that books were sorely needed.

Moved by a strong recognition of the need and feeling God wanted her to continue the endeavor, she ordered a number of sets of The Treasury of David. (Spurgeon had written four volumes of that work at that time.) Those also went to needy pastors, and again there came the letters of thanks and further evidence of need. Many men were trying to maintain homes and bring up families on meager incomes.

Although there was still no public mention of what Mrs. Spurgeon had done, money continued to arrive and with it urgent requests that she continue the good work. For instance, one man sent £50, asking that she send a copy of the Lectures to the nearly 500 pastors of the Calvinistic Methodist Churches of North Wales. Then another £50 came to help defray the costs of that undertaking. That was followed by £100 to send the book to the ministers of the same denomination in South Wales.

News of the gifts spread still further, and ministers of various denominations wrote, stating that a copy of the Lectures, the Treasury; or Spurgeon's other writings would be of great help, but that they were too poor to purchase them. And as those letters reached Mrs. Spurgeon, more money arrived. She could see she had a lasting work to do, an undertaking given by God.......There were times she performed her duties in weakness and pain, and other times she was so ill that her labors were entirely prevented.

Nevertheless, over and above the value of the books and the goods to the various recipients, the enterprise was especially valuable to Mrs. Spurgeon herself. It gave her reason to feel that despite her condition she was able to serve. Spurgeon spoke of the endeavour as divinely ordered, and he reported the change it had made in Susannah, saying:

I gratefully adore the goodness of our Heavenly Father, in directing my beloved wife to a work which has been to her fruitful in unutterable happiness. That it has cost her more pain than it would be fitting to reveal, is most true; but that it has brought her boundless joy is equally certain. Our gracious Lord ministered to His suffering child in the most effectual manner, when He graciously led her to minister to the necessities of His service.

By this means He called her away from her personal grief, gave tone and concentration to her life, led her to continual dealings with Himself, and raised her nearer the centre of that region where other than earthly joys and sorrows reigned supreme. Let every believer accept this as the inference of experience, that for most human maladies the best relief and antidote will be found in self-sacrificing work for the Lord Jesus.

And Mrs. Spurgeon testified: "I am personally indebted to the dear friends who have furnished me with the means of making others happy. For me there has been a double blessing. I have been both recipient and donor... My days have been made indescribably bright and happy by the delightful duties connected with the work and its little arrangements.... That I seem to be living in an atmosphere of blessing and love, and can truly say with the Psalmist, "My cup runneth over." Read more.....

What is the meaning of Life?

Whenever I am severely depressed, this question will surface over and over again. During an episode of severe depression that is clinical and last between 3 to 6 months or sometimes longer, to have to face this question every day is a tremendous challenge. Due to some chemical imbalance in my brain in such an episode, I couldn't think clearly nor feel rightly. Depression has a way of numbing my brain so that I am either not able to concentrate to read or think, or my thoughts will be all negative and condemning myself. I seemed incapable of doing anything or deriving any joy in anything I used to enjoy. I could not feel aright, my feelings are either flat most of the time or down most of the time. For some people, during severe depression they will break down in tears and sometimes cry for no particular reasons. For me it was the opposite. In the face of such tremendous pain and struggles, I wanted very much to cry as I felt that may help to release the pain and frustration I am going through during such an episode, but often there are no tears.

During such a episode, I dread to wake up each morning as I couldn't bring myself to face each day. Every morning, when I wake up, I found myself asking over and over again, What is the meaning of life? What is the point of going on like this day after day? I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. There is no way out of this depths. I have no energy to fight on. So many times I prayed that God will take me home. Living on without the ability to enjoy His love, His Words, public worship, personal devotions, family, friends, work, hobbies, etc is so meaningless. During severe depression, nothing seems to help. Day in day out, night in night out, is the same thing and it goes on for days, weeks, months. Others said they have been depressed before and they just prayed, look to God and they are better. But in severe clinical depression, nothing helps. So no one will understand. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here to go through this suffering over and over again as I have been through it some 12 times by now?

I thank God for leading me to seek help at Counselling and Care Centre in Singapore in January 2007. In my first 2 sessions with my counsellor, Sarah, I recounted to her my past relapses of severe clinical depression in the last 20 years. Sarah noted at the end of my second session with her that there is a phrase I keep repeating and that is during every depressive episodes I will wonder "What is the meaning of Life?". Sarah felt that there is a necessity for me to explore this question and to see how I can get a more realistic and biblical view on this question as that will have an impact in my recovery.

When I first saw Sarah in end January 2007, I had just sought medical help and was on anti-depressant (20mg Fluoxetine or common brand name Prozac). Thank God that I am very sensitive to medication and 1 week after taking Fluoxetine, I was feeling better and more functional. The anti-depressant did not cure me totally but it lifted me up to a more functional level so that I can pray and read the Bible once again and find comfort in God and His Words. I was able to wake up without dreading to face each day and therefore able to cope better with work and life in general. The anti-depressant helped to lift up to a level where my thoughts and feelings are more normal, and I can think more rationally. It was then that I can benefit from counsellings/psychotherapy.

So I was more rational and able to think more clearly when I saw Sarah. After hearing my accounts, Sarah asked me what I think is the meaning of life? Sarah wants me to go home and think about this question and to discuss with her in our next counselling session the following week.

At that time, I was seeing Sarah once a week for about an hour each session. Thank God for my employer and colleauges who allowed me to take time off during working hours to see Sarah. Sarah works in a team with several other counsellors, and our sessions are video taped with my permission. In the room where Sarah counselled me, I only get to see her. Her other colleagues in her team were in the next room, watching the video of our taped session. Towards the end of the session, Sarah will go for a short break of 10 mins to discuss with her team members. She will then come back and conclude the session with me by highlighting some discoveries we made during our sessions and to post some question for me to take home and think and pray about. This was how she helped me to explore my thoughts as I do have some faulty or unhelpful thinking patterns which are so ingrafted in me that I am not conscious of them. But they have tremendous negative effects on my life and learning to identify them will help me to challenge them and turn them to more realistic and biblical thoughts and actions. This is the gift of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or counselling/talk therapy/psychotherapy. I will share more about CBT in future posts.

So on my second session with Sarah, I took the question "What is the meaning of Life?" home with me to pray and explore it further.

To be continued......

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

God our dwelling place

Yesterday, I wrote to several precious friends in my life, as I reflected on God's goodness in causing our paths to cross in many wonderful ways, and how their friendships have been such a blessing to me.

George Wong, my brother-in-Christ in Brunei, replied with an encouraging note and he shared that the book of prayer of Moses on Psalms 90 is also very helpful to him as he attended the funeral service of a loving brother who went home to be with the Lord recently. Psalms 90:1 began by speaking of the Lord being our dwelling place in all generations.

This morning, as part of my personal devotion, I read the encouraging writings of CH Spurgeon in his Morning and Evening on Psalm 91:9 and he also mentioned something about Psalms 90:1! Spurgeon also wrote about God who is our refuge being our dwelling place and habitation. Though we live in an ever changing world, there is no change with regards to God and His love for His people. He is our strong habitation whereunto we can continually resort. We are a pilgrim in the world, but at home in our God. In the earth we wander, but in God we dwell in a quiet habitation.

“Thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation.” - Psalm 91:9

The Israelites in the wilderness were continually exposed to change. Whenever the pillar stayed its motion, the tents were pitched; but tomorrow, ere the morning sun had risen, the trumpet sounded, the ark was in motion, and the fiery, cloudy pillar was leading the way through the narrow defiles of the mountain, up the hill side, or along the arid waste of the wilderness. They had scarcely time to rest a little before they heard the sound of “Away! this is not your rest; you must still be onward journeying towards Canaan!” They were never long in one place. Even wells and palm trees could not detain them. Yet they had an abiding home in their God, his cloudy pillar was their roof-tree, and its flame by night their household fire. They must go onward from place to place, continually changing, never having time to settle, and to say, “Now we are secure; in this place we shall dwell.” “Yet,” says Moses, “though we are always changing, Lord, thou hast been our dwelling-place throughout all generations.” The Christian knows no change with regard to God. He may be rich to-day and poor to-morrow; he may be sickly to-day and well to-morrow; he may be in happiness to-day, to-morrow he may be distressed-but there is no change with regard to his relationship to God. If he loved me yesterday, he loves me to-day. My unmoving mansion of rest is my blessed Lord. Let prospects be blighted; let hopes be blasted; let joy be withered; let mildews destroy everything; I have lost nothing of what I have in God. He is “my strong habitation whereunto I can continually resort.” I am a pilgrim in the world, but at home in my God. In the earth I wander, but in God I dwell in a quiet habitation.
(CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, February 27, Morning)

My brother, Arthur, who is in New Zealand, took this photo at Muriwai Beach, West Auckland, New Zealand.

Psalms 90
1 Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.
2 Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.
3 Thou turnest man to destruction; and sayest, Return, ye children of men.
4 For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterda y when it is past, and as a watch in the night.
5 Thou carriest them away as with a flood; they are as a sleep: in the morning they are like grass which groweth up.
6 In the morning it flourisheth, and groweth up; in the evening it is cut down, and withereth.
7 For we are consumed by thine anger, and by thy wrath are we troubled.
8 Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance.
9 For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told.
10 The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
11 Who knoweth the power of thine anger? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath.
12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
13 Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants.
14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil.
16 Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children.
17 And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.

Some other lovely photos my brother, Arthur, took at Muriwai Beach, West Auckland, New Zealand.

The Love of God and His Amazing Grace

Yesterday, I shared of how God brought to my remembrance the many precious friendships He has placed in my life. I love my friends not only for what they are, but also for what I am when I am with them.

I think true friends have a sanctifying influence on one another. Instead of seeing through one another, they see one another through all the changing scenes of life. True friends are those who knows all about me, my strength and weaknesses and still love and accept me despite the difference in my personality with them or how they may not see eye to eye with me in some things. True friends pray for one another and desire to see each other grow in the love of God and walk more closely with God, and serve Him more fervently. I think true friends are those who are able to admonish and correct one another whenever necessary though that can be painful at times. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:6) True friends deal kindly and gently with one another instead of speaking harshly or with condemnations. True friends desire the good of one another, and his/her happiness and well being is more important to me.

True friends hope against hope that their friends will change for the better and God can do a deeper work in their souls. True friends do not give up on one another. I read somewhere that "True friends are those who come in when the whole world goes out." True friends do not forsake us even when the world and everybody else forsake us. And such a true Friend we have in Jesus !

.... he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

True friendships in Christ caused others to see rather clearly that we are the children of God, and we sincerely love our brethren like the way God loves us.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 1 John 4:7

Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:35

In true Christian friendships of brotherly love, we are willing to lay down our lives for our brethren or friends, if need be. Most of us will not be called to literally lay down our life for our Lord or our brethren. But daily we are called to take up our cross and follow the Lord. We are called to deny ourselves and esteem others better than ourselves. When we take up our cross and walk in the ways of self-denial, the road can be rough and difficult, sometimes painful too, but we will find the Lord walking with us and blessing us in our walk and friendship with others. In His love alone can we find the courage and grace to do what is right for us and for others. Such unconditional love is what the Lord Himself has set before us in His denying His own comfort and suffered and bled for us on the cross that we might be reconciled to God. In His love alone we are enabled to love our brethren as ourselves which is what God desires us to do.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 1 John 3:16

If friends are constantly putting one another down, constantly hurting one another or constantly drawing one another away from God and lead one another to undesirable thoughts and actions, these are friendships that will not last forever nor do the friendships benefit each other and others around them.

How hard it is to develop a friendship that really honours God and benefit our friends' souls and ours! We are fallen creatures filled with sins and remaining corruptions. We failed the Lord and one another in so many ways. Though I tried my best to love my friends with the same love that God has loved me, and I pray daily for grace to do so, I am sadly conscious of my many sins and failures towards God and my friends. I thank God that with Him there is forgiveness of sins and I thank God for friends who accept me, forgive me of my faults, accepts me and receive me readily into their fellowship. I know that this is possible because of God's love for us and the love He has placed in our heart for one another. I pray that God may shine forth His love to others through me. I know I am but an instrument in the hands of a mighty, sovereign, just and yet loving God Who loves His people and sends His Son to die for the sins of His redeemed ones.

In all the relationships in my life, God is the One who fills my heart with His love to love Him, His people, my family and others He places along the various paths of my life. The reminder of our Lord Jesus Christ’s great love for us by laying down His life for us is always a great encouragement to me. It never cease to amaze me of God’s love for sinners like us.

I am reminded once again of a hymn/poem I like very much, “The Love of God”. I like the way the love of God is being described as greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell. Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made, were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade, to write the love of God above, would drain the oceon dry, nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky! How true! The immeasurable depths and heights of God’s love! It has to be experienced to know what it means and even then we cannot fathom the whole of it.

It is interesting to note that this 3rd stanza, which I like very much, had been found penciled on the wall of a patient’s room in an insane asylum after he had been carried to his grave, the general opinion was that this inmate had written the epic in moments of sanity (quoted from Cyber Hymnal website).

The Love of God

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Chorus: O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Chorus: O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Chorus: O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

As I consider my own sins, failures and weaknesses, and how I often failed the Lord despite His consistent love and patience, I am greatly moved to seek more of His grace to walk with Him afresh, and to love Him and His people more and more. I know that I cannot do it of myself. I need the Lord’s grace and strength. I am reminded of another poem/hymn "Amazing Grace" and I thank God for His amazing grace in my life.

"Amazing Grace"

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.

John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)

I thank God that I belong to Him and nothing shall ever separate me from His love. Though in this life, I have my many portions of trials, afflictions and sufferings, God is with me and graciously working all things for His glory and my good. My long and painful episodes of severe depression are God's ways of sanctifying me and drawing me nearer to know His Love and Grace. My manic episodes are periods of grace of God in which God enables me to testify of His Love and Faithfulness, and time He gives me opportunity to know Him and serve Him, to know His people and serve them.

I pray that God may continue to lead and guide me in His ways, and take me home to be with Himself when my duties here are done. Meanwhile, I continue to run the race that He has set before me, looking unto our Lord Jesus Christ who Alone is the Author and Finisher of our faith.

Romans 8:35-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I LOVE YOU, not only for what you are

This quote "I LOVE YOU, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you" is another of my favourite friendship quotes.

Some months back, when I was very manic, I wrote very long emails to share with my friends in church about God's goodness and mercies to me. I also developed my website and put up my emails there for others to read. As I developed my blog, I dedicated one section to the experiences that I had with my counsellor, Sarah, at the Counselling and Care Centre, Singapore. In that section, I shared of my correspondences with Sarah. Sarah was a trainee at the Centre and she helped and counseled me from Jan 2007 to Apr 2007. Sarah was trained to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is a form of therapy that helps us to identify our unhelpful or unrealistic thinking patterns and to change them to more appropriate or realistic ones.

After my last session with Sarah, I was very moved by God's goodness and mercies to me in answering my prayers and provided such a gentle, kind, compassionate and godly counselor in Sarah. The nine sessions I spent with Sarah were life changing experiences for me. Through my time with her, I was led to embark on a new journey. It was a journey of self-discovery, of knowing God, others and myself better.

What I benefitted most from my sessions with Sarah was the way she helps me to understand God's love and that I am precious in His sight. This phrase "I LOVE YOU, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you" best describe my short acquaintance with Sarah and the tremendous and blessed effect her friendship and kindness has on my life.

Sarah helps me to realize once again that God loves me despite my failures and weaknesses. She helps me to appreciate the wonderful truth that God is with me through all the changing scenes of life and He is working all things for my good and His glory. When I looked back on my life, many times I felt sad and regretted the many wrong decisions I have made in my life, or the things I wished I had done. My life is filled with regret and I could not appreciate any good that I have done in the past.

But my sessions with Sarah changed my life. I have had some 10 severe depression episodes over the last 20 years, each episode lasting between 3 to 6 months, sometimes more. During some depressive episodes, there were times when some friends told me that I am very emotional, and that I was not putting my faith and trust in God. If I could stop doing so, perhaps I will get well. And I believed them. So I hated myself in the past for being so emotional and for being unable to put my faith and trust in God, and unable to get well. But no matter how hard I tried, I do not get well. It is usually about 3 to 6 months later, or sometimes longer, that I began to get better and more functional.

During one counseling session, Sarah took out a very big piece of paper and markers of different colours. She asked me to chart the major events in my life in a graph. For major event in my life, I was to use a black marker to chart the time/year it happened. For every happy and wonderful event, I was to use a green marker to chart the time/year it happened. I was then to use a red marker to mark out those periods of time when I went through severe depression. As I use these different markers to chart the different event over the last 20 years, there are often some overlappings.

Before I met Sarah, I used to look at my life as a total failure (this is one of the faulty or unhelpful thinking pattern Sarah helped me to recognize and try to change). Sarah helped me to see that in my life there were not just the black timeline, there were the green ones as well though also intertwined with the red ones. And by the mercies of God, I began to see that the green timelines scattered throughout my life, and they were not few. I began to see God's goodness and mercies in my life in a different way! Sarah helps me to see that in life we do experience up and down throughout different periods of time. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we are well, sometimes we are sick. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we failed. But none of these experiences represent us as a person. They are just events in our life, and everyone go through it. My past and present failures does not make me a failure. I can seek God's forgiveness and help to learn from my mistakes and to do better the next time, by His grace. I can become a better person and grow through each experiences, though they are painful and difficult.

I wrote a tribute to Sarah after my last meeting with her, which expresses my deep heart-felt thankfulness to God for using her to be such a blessing to me. It was through my sessions with her that I am able to embark on a new journey that is changing my life in many wonderful ways, a journey that I am still pressing on now, by God's grace. In my tribute to Sarah, I also expressed my sincere appreciation to Sarah for her kindness, her friendship, her counsels and her willingness to walk that difficult journey with her. She has made such a difference in my life and I wanted her to know it, though I know she may never get to read that tribute as professionally she cannot keep in contact with me after my last session with her.

One of my church friends who read my tribute to Sarah told me that she thinks I am a very emotional person and that I value friendship a lot, and that is why I can be disappointed easily when others let me down or do not reciprocate my friendship.

I think my church friend is right. I am someone who feels very deeply. And when I loved, I loved completely. I do not know how to withhold myself. I give of myself whole heartedly. But with such love, I often suffered tremendously. I went through much rejections and pains over the years when friends let me down. Some got married and could never be my close friend anymore as now their spouses are their closest friend on earth, and they have to attend to their family needs which are more important than my friendship.

But why after suffering so much pain and disappointments in human friendship that I still do not learn from my mistakes? Why do I keep loving and keep being hurt, and yet continue to love. I thank God that He sets the best example of love for me and He is the one enabling me to love others with His love. When I was deeply hurt, I found consolation in God's love which is enduring and unchanging. It never fails to amazed me that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for us and redeemed us from eternal condemnation, reconciled us to Himself so that we can enjoy eternal life in Him one day. No matter how I failed Him, after I became a Christian, God's love remains unchanging for me. He still showers His goodness and mercies upon me each day. His love far surpasses that of any human love I have ever experienced. In Him, I found that I can cast myself wholely upon, love Him with all my heart and will never be rejected or let down.

It is hard to fathom this love of God, that our Lord Jesus Christ loved me enough to lay down His life for me. Who will lay down his life for a friend? Maybe some might. But what is that compared to the Son of God laying down His life for sinful and ungrateful creatures of dust like us? Yet God demonstrated His love for us through such a sacrifice.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

To be honest, if we have experienced such rich and enduring love of God, it is quite hard to keep this love to ourselves :-) I found my heart overflowing with God's love which I cannot contain in my heart! I have to give it away :-)

So I began once again to love, but this time with God's love. I prayed for my friends and I seek with God's grace to love them like the way He loved me. No doubt, I still experienced rejection and disappointments from time to time, and it still hurts. But I am no longer in bondage to love. The Lord enables me after a period of hurting (it is normal and healthy to go through the healing process), to let go, and move on with my life and to continue to seek out others who can benefit from God's love through me. I thank God for the many wonderful friends He places along the various paths of my life. I thank God for their love and kindness, which are tokens of God's love for me. I thank God too for enabling me to love them with His love which endures forever.

So my dear friends, I may not say this very often, but this phrase "I LOVE YOU, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you", is for you too, for the difference you have made in my life and the way your friendship is helping me to change and grow in many wonderful ways. "I LOVE YOU, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you"

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

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